The Watchers : Comments

[Sprayber]

Well, I've been threatening to do this for awhile and here it is. It is a humble attempt to give something back to all those whose stories I have enjoyed over this past year. As always, comments are welcome. Need somthing explained or have suggestions about how to make things clearer, just let me know.


There will be more to come later.

[Ari Rahikkala]

Just one thing (I haven't yet actually read it) - paragraphs. I don't see too many of them in this one.

More comments to come after I actually read it.

[Ari Rahikkala]

Hmm... yes, an interesting beginning. That's pretty much all that I can say this far ...

[Kassiopeia]

Hey, the Earthlings are making a counter-visit! Lal ought to put the kettle on
It was a bit hard to read with paragraphs missing, but the idea is most certainly great. I'm eager for more.

[Sprayber]

Sorry about the paragraphs. I wrote it out in a hurry while the idea was still fresh. I promise future installments will be fixed.

[Guardian]

Hey, that's a pretty cool beginning!

As for the missing paragraphs... well, Sprayber does tend to forget about them when he really gets going, but if you read it anyway, you'll be likely to find a great story!

[Alynzia]

I've often wondered where the 'Sprayber story' was, and now it's here I think it rocks. I'm always impressed by stories with ideas I could never have considered myself in like a million years.

But really, Ric Flair?! Is he going to wrestle his subordinates into submission?

I'd really like to see the future installments ...

[Sprayber]

Thanks for the comments guys. like I said, I don't claim to be a writer. Just a person with some ideas in his head.


Alynzia - You caught the wrestling reference. I wondered if anyone would. There was another name in there but you would have to be a fan of the older stuff to catch that one.


Anyway, I posted a new installment. I have an idea about where it will go, but I will let my imagination have the final say. As I was writing this I kept thinking about the day when the Earth Alliance shows up to take possession of Chiron and they are met by a civilization of humans that aren't that eager to take a back seat to Earth. I haven't thought about if the Progenitors should be included or not. I don't want the story to grow out of control so that there isn't anyone for you guys to care about. The best stories are sometimes the simplest in scope.

[Kassiopeia]

If possible from the beginning, the story is improving all the time!

[Sprayber]

Flashbacks....

Someone mentioned beginnings and I was inspired. Anyhoo, next installment will see the Unity arrive and the Watchers down on planet.

[Guardian]

(*grumble*)

I always knew those damn Americans would get us into trouble some day...

[Sprayber]

Originally posted by Guardian
(*grumble*)

I always knew those damn Americans would get us into trouble some day...

There not just Americans. They are Canadians and Mexicans as well.

NAU
United States
Canada
Mexico
Cuba
Most Caribbean islands
+ Hawaii and various Pacific Islands.

But I hope everyone is sill enjoying the story. And I hope it isn't too far fetched to believe.

[Guardian]

Heh. Well, technically, since America is also the name of the continent, the term "American" could be used about all of the above (except those islands, of course...)

I do realize, of course, that I'd probably cause a lot of misunderstandings that way...

Isn't it kind of funny how "America" is assumed to refer exclusively to the United States, while "North America" includes Canada and Mexico? You would think that a specific part would be smaller than the whole, not bigger...

Anyway, enough of that nit-picking... pretty good story so far!