Velvetgrass Point
Shannon Lindly signed contentedly. The chaos from the last year or two had abated somewhat. Who would have guessed that that she would be the first Gaian ambassador to the Morgans since the Trail of Tears, and then broker an alliance? Or that she would be a member of the first human exploration of space, even if that little adventure was brought to a screeching halt with the arrival of the alien fleet, which had made it abundantly and violently clear they would not allow humans in orbit or beyond. Then she had the distinct and unpleasant 'honor' of being the Gaian pro tem leader while Dee was in the tanks (again). Luckily Dee only needed an update, so she wasn't on the hook very long. Administrative duties ranked at the absolute bottom of where Shannon wanted to spend her time.
There was one good thing about a little stature, however; you could tell certain people to buzz off. As the stand-in Gaian leader she had gotten quite good at it, and she could tell she had a certain talent for it by the way people cringed when she got into one of her 'tiff moods'. That seemed to happen quite often since she had been irritable most of the time.
So, the experience hadn't been pleasant for anyone and, thankfully, she wasn't about to be elected Queen of the Universe anytime soon because of all the ruffled feathers. Shannon had absolutely no idea how Dee put up with all the whiners and wheedlers, or how she could be gracious to people who obviously had less than pure ulterior motives. That, in the end, made Dee a much better leader than most admitted. She was soft on people, but hard on policy, since there were some issues where she simply would not compromise on. Having been in that limelight Shannon could see all too clearly the temptation to give in to expediency on policy and people, if for no other reason than to make some unpleasant person or issue go away. At that she smiled grimly, thinking that other more ruthless faction leaders who practiced realpolitic in a Machiavellian fashion, like Morgan or Yang, would find a less prosaic way of making an inconvenient person or an issue 'go away'.
Still Shannon felt more relaxed than she had in months. She was back to her true love, research, even if it wasn't the high-energy research she was accustomed to. The arrival of the aliens had changed the focus of Gaian research, since it now seemed key to fathom Planet to understand them and what they meant to Mankind. The Manifold Nexus figured prominently in this effort since it was obviously an alien artifact of the first order, that it was intimately linked with Planet itself , and that it was in the uncontested hands of the Gaians. But for now the mysterious and glorious Manifold was banished from Shannon's mind, as was the ever-present threat of the vaguely threatening aliens, and the complex and messy political elements that infected her life as an (almost) pure lead researcher.
The most complex thought on her mind now was how not to burn her hands no her hot mug. Leaning back in her favorite slightly overstuffed chair, Shannon cradled the warm cup of tea. A fragrant steam rose, and Shannon inhaled deeply. It was a delicate chamomile, and its flowery aroma never failed to sooth her nerves. Chamomile was definitely an acquired taste, but then so was fungal gin.
Shannon shivered. Fungal gin was truly nasty stuff.
Pleasant thoughts she reminded herself.
Shannon sipped, and the warmth of the almost too hot tea washed down her throat.
Tranquility.
Shannon closed her eyes.
Shannon sipped again, a long, slow sip, and the heady steam bathed her face.
Ahhhhh!
Slowly, Shannon opened her eyes.
What was that? She felt something tugging on her robe hem. In a flash she knew: Ehm was trying to get her attention.
Looking down she saw him. He was brushing against her leg, politely asking in a non-verbal way that she had taught him to initiate conversation. It had been a long time in training, and he seemed to have no problem simply barging into her mind with whatever thought or comment he might have at the moment. Normally this is fine if there was any amount of self-restraint, but Shannon compared Ehm to a precocious 10-year-old. He always had questions, and he never seemed to sleep. For a few months Shannon thought she would go insane, or sink into catatonia due to lack of REM sleep due to Ehm's constant intrusions.
"Hello Ehm," she said. "Come on up. Let's talk."
In a blink Ehm had darted up into her lap. He was no longer the tinniest mindworm she had ever seen, but he was still pretty small. He easily fit into her lap, which looked like it was covered with a rounded mound of moving pink confetti. Shannon marveled, knowing that as he moved he controlled the magnetism around him and used it to keep the individual mindworms suspended and to propel himself.
Simply amazing, if now old hat.
Hello Lindly, Ehm said quietly into Shannon's mind. Shannon perked up, since Ehm was always almost bursting with enthusiasm and almost never said anything quietly, or slowly. His conversations were staccato bursts of ideas or questions, and he sometimes didn't even wait for an answer if he was excited enough.
Shannon waited for him to continue, and this wait itself was another rarity.
You are my friend. Will you die, Lindly?
Shannon was surprised again. Ehm's questions were all over the map, but this was a new and pretty serious question.
"Yes Ehm, I will eventually die, but hopefully not for a long time. All living things die, though."
Ehm accepted this statement and paused again.
When?
Shannon now knew where this conversation was going, and remembered how she had dealt with it so long ago on Earth when her young Greg had starting asking such questions. It was hard, and a little touchy, and she knew she had to be careful and honest. She remembered that Greg was unusually serious for an eight year old, and had looked her straight in the eye when asking this question. But that was over a two hundred years ago - a lifetime ago, or several lifetimes. When leaving Earth Shannon had made her goodbyes, knowing she would never see Greg or his family again. It had been sad, but it was so long ago. Still, she knew she would never forget.
"I don't know. Normally humans live for less than a hundred years, but now it is many hundreds of years and in the future it could be much longer. I could have an accident that would mean I would die sooner. "
Like when Tala my friend at the training school went away?
"Yes. She went to the hospital after the hab unit at Morgan Industries collapsed when the ferals attacked, but the doctors there couldn't save her."
What happens when you die?
"Well," Shannon started, and she shifted in her seat and put down her tea. This was going to be longer than she had thought. "Humans have been thinking about that for a long time, and no one really knows. Some humans think that when you die your soul, which is the essence of your being, will go to a nice place, which most call heaven, to be with the being that created all life. Others think that your soul will be reborn over and over again forever. Still others think that we are complex chemical reactions and that when we die we simply cease to exist. "
Ehm was quiet for a while. Shannon knew he understood the basics of biology and was busy digesting what might be new ideas.
Will I die?
"I don't really know. You might. I've never seen a mindworm die naturally, but I've only been on Planet for 125 years. You are a collection of little wormlets the each grow, reproduce, and then die, and they are replaced as fast as they die. In a way it is a little like the cells of a human. The cells themselves are created and die off continually, but the human continues to live. We are programmed to die, since that is central to our species' reproductive strategy and place in our ecosystem, and some would say the key to our evolution. That may not be true on Planet, though. Your ecosystem and programming is completely different and there is no reason that I know of why you can't live forever, Ehm."
But I don't want to live forever if I can't be with you. I don't want my friends to die.
Shannon got a little misty eyed as she thought of an immortal little Ehm watching all his human friends grow old and die, being all alone and feeling abandoned. The yawning future might be gray and bleak in such a world. Maybe immortality wasn't that desirable after all?
"In know, Ehm. I know. "
Mindworms can die, too. I know it.
Shannon perked up.
"Really? How do you know that?"
I felt Alphonse die. He was my friend. He was hurting and the hurt wouldn't go away. His friends killed him near the fungus. He doesn't hurt anymore.
Shannon was nonplussed. A mindworm dying? And that great big demon boil Alphonse? That was new and totally unexpected.
"I'm sorry Ehm. I really am. I liked Alphonse, too, and I knew him from when he was a hatchling. He and Dee had such fun together! I'm sorry to see him go."
Shannon didn't know what to do. It was clear that Ehm was sad, if a mindworm can be sad, with the loss of Alphonse. She wanted to give him a hug to make him feel better, like she had with Greg, but hugging a mindworm was worse than fruitless since they couldn't feel it and simply flowed out of the way. The experience literally made the hairs on her arms stand on end, from more than the residual magnetism.
I felt him go into the fungus. He isn't focused anymore. Is that dying? When a human dies to they go into the fungus, too?
Now Shannon was confused. Unfocused? Going into the fungus?
Going into the fungus!
Slowly a glimmer of understanding crept in. Dee was always talking about the neural conductivity of the fungal network on Planet, or what could be a neural network. What if the sentience of the mindworms was intricately linked, or what if they were linked together through the fungus? The idea of a super-organism of Planet has been floated before, but it was only an interesting theory with no proof. Shannon felt a chill shoot up her spine. That linkage would explain some of the perplexing elements of the Manifold Nexus she had been working on. The Nexus could be like a neural focal point, or what was left of one, for a fungal neural net, which would include the sessile fungus, the myriad of other life forms on Planet, and the sentient mindworm vectors. Could they all be part of one system? Are what humans see as organisms simply part of a larger organism? Maybe mindworms are like intelligent white blood cells?
Alphonse says hello, Lindly. And not to be sad.
Shannon's reverie was broken.
"When did Alphonse tell you that? I thought you said his friends killed him. Did you talk to him before he died?"
No. He just told me. Then he unfocused again. Can humans refocus after they die like Alphonse?
Shannon was a little stunned. Alphonse was still here? In the fungal net? Or was Ehm having a delusion? Thinking back on it, Ehm was quite literal and not fantasy prone. Delusions and imagination are not mindworms' strong point. Humans, however, are quite good at delusion and imagination.
"No, I don't think humans can refocus," she replied with a distracted voice. Shannon thought to herself: If mindworms can refocus after they die, can they really be dead, at least as humans understand it? But more importantly, can they 'refocus' and come back to life? Is Alphonse simply in storage in the fungal net?
Right now Shannon had lots of questions, but few answers. It seemed that the Manifold and Planet got more complex every day. Like it or not, she wasn't relaxed anymore, but invigorated. Questions kept popping into her head, and there was one place where they might be answered.
"Come on, Ehm! Let's go to the Manifold!" Shannon stated.
OK!
Ehm loved going to the Manifold and playing in the ruins. He was also very helpful, since he could get into places that were otherwise inaccessible. Shannon started to get up, and Ehm slid to the ground and made for the door.
"Ehm, I have to get dressed. I only put on robes at home. Remember?"
Yes. Can I help?
Shannon through for a moment, "Sure. Find my work boots. I think they're downstairs."
OK!
Ehm skittered downstairs. To Shannon it was very strange. Even though he was a mindworm there were moments that he reminded of her of Greg when he was little. Happy thoughts darted through her head as Shannon got on her field clothes, thoughts of family old and new. Shannon decided she was very glad Ehm was around, and couldn't imagine life without him.
Isn't that strange? she thought to herself as she finished dressing.
Shannon Lindly signed contentedly. The chaos from the last year or two had abated somewhat. Who would have guessed that that she would be the first Gaian ambassador to the Morgans since the Trail of Tears, and then broker an alliance? Or that she would be a member of the first human exploration of space, even if that little adventure was brought to a screeching halt with the arrival of the alien fleet, which had made it abundantly and violently clear they would not allow humans in orbit or beyond. Then she had the distinct and unpleasant 'honor' of being the Gaian pro tem leader while Dee was in the tanks (again). Luckily Dee only needed an update, so she wasn't on the hook very long. Administrative duties ranked at the absolute bottom of where Shannon wanted to spend her time.
There was one good thing about a little stature, however; you could tell certain people to buzz off. As the stand-in Gaian leader she had gotten quite good at it, and she could tell she had a certain talent for it by the way people cringed when she got into one of her 'tiff moods'. That seemed to happen quite often since she had been irritable most of the time.
So, the experience hadn't been pleasant for anyone and, thankfully, she wasn't about to be elected Queen of the Universe anytime soon because of all the ruffled feathers. Shannon had absolutely no idea how Dee put up with all the whiners and wheedlers, or how she could be gracious to people who obviously had less than pure ulterior motives. That, in the end, made Dee a much better leader than most admitted. She was soft on people, but hard on policy, since there were some issues where she simply would not compromise on. Having been in that limelight Shannon could see all too clearly the temptation to give in to expediency on policy and people, if for no other reason than to make some unpleasant person or issue go away. At that she smiled grimly, thinking that other more ruthless faction leaders who practiced realpolitic in a Machiavellian fashion, like Morgan or Yang, would find a less prosaic way of making an inconvenient person or an issue 'go away'.
Still Shannon felt more relaxed than she had in months. She was back to her true love, research, even if it wasn't the high-energy research she was accustomed to. The arrival of the aliens had changed the focus of Gaian research, since it now seemed key to fathom Planet to understand them and what they meant to Mankind. The Manifold Nexus figured prominently in this effort since it was obviously an alien artifact of the first order, that it was intimately linked with Planet itself , and that it was in the uncontested hands of the Gaians. But for now the mysterious and glorious Manifold was banished from Shannon's mind, as was the ever-present threat of the vaguely threatening aliens, and the complex and messy political elements that infected her life as an (almost) pure lead researcher.
The most complex thought on her mind now was how not to burn her hands no her hot mug. Leaning back in her favorite slightly overstuffed chair, Shannon cradled the warm cup of tea. A fragrant steam rose, and Shannon inhaled deeply. It was a delicate chamomile, and its flowery aroma never failed to sooth her nerves. Chamomile was definitely an acquired taste, but then so was fungal gin.
Shannon shivered. Fungal gin was truly nasty stuff.
Pleasant thoughts she reminded herself.
Shannon sipped, and the warmth of the almost too hot tea washed down her throat.
Tranquility.
Shannon closed her eyes.
Shannon sipped again, a long, slow sip, and the heady steam bathed her face.
Ahhhhh!
Slowly, Shannon opened her eyes.
What was that? She felt something tugging on her robe hem. In a flash she knew: Ehm was trying to get her attention.
Looking down she saw him. He was brushing against her leg, politely asking in a non-verbal way that she had taught him to initiate conversation. It had been a long time in training, and he seemed to have no problem simply barging into her mind with whatever thought or comment he might have at the moment. Normally this is fine if there was any amount of self-restraint, but Shannon compared Ehm to a precocious 10-year-old. He always had questions, and he never seemed to sleep. For a few months Shannon thought she would go insane, or sink into catatonia due to lack of REM sleep due to Ehm's constant intrusions.
"Hello Ehm," she said. "Come on up. Let's talk."
In a blink Ehm had darted up into her lap. He was no longer the tinniest mindworm she had ever seen, but he was still pretty small. He easily fit into her lap, which looked like it was covered with a rounded mound of moving pink confetti. Shannon marveled, knowing that as he moved he controlled the magnetism around him and used it to keep the individual mindworms suspended and to propel himself.
Simply amazing, if now old hat.
Hello Lindly, Ehm said quietly into Shannon's mind. Shannon perked up, since Ehm was always almost bursting with enthusiasm and almost never said anything quietly, or slowly. His conversations were staccato bursts of ideas or questions, and he sometimes didn't even wait for an answer if he was excited enough.
Shannon waited for him to continue, and this wait itself was another rarity.
You are my friend. Will you die, Lindly?
Shannon was surprised again. Ehm's questions were all over the map, but this was a new and pretty serious question.
"Yes Ehm, I will eventually die, but hopefully not for a long time. All living things die, though."
Ehm accepted this statement and paused again.
When?
Shannon now knew where this conversation was going, and remembered how she had dealt with it so long ago on Earth when her young Greg had starting asking such questions. It was hard, and a little touchy, and she knew she had to be careful and honest. She remembered that Greg was unusually serious for an eight year old, and had looked her straight in the eye when asking this question. But that was over a two hundred years ago - a lifetime ago, or several lifetimes. When leaving Earth Shannon had made her goodbyes, knowing she would never see Greg or his family again. It had been sad, but it was so long ago. Still, she knew she would never forget.
"I don't know. Normally humans live for less than a hundred years, but now it is many hundreds of years and in the future it could be much longer. I could have an accident that would mean I would die sooner. "
Like when Tala my friend at the training school went away?
"Yes. She went to the hospital after the hab unit at Morgan Industries collapsed when the ferals attacked, but the doctors there couldn't save her."
What happens when you die?
"Well," Shannon started, and she shifted in her seat and put down her tea. This was going to be longer than she had thought. "Humans have been thinking about that for a long time, and no one really knows. Some humans think that when you die your soul, which is the essence of your being, will go to a nice place, which most call heaven, to be with the being that created all life. Others think that your soul will be reborn over and over again forever. Still others think that we are complex chemical reactions and that when we die we simply cease to exist. "
Ehm was quiet for a while. Shannon knew he understood the basics of biology and was busy digesting what might be new ideas.
Will I die?
"I don't really know. You might. I've never seen a mindworm die naturally, but I've only been on Planet for 125 years. You are a collection of little wormlets the each grow, reproduce, and then die, and they are replaced as fast as they die. In a way it is a little like the cells of a human. The cells themselves are created and die off continually, but the human continues to live. We are programmed to die, since that is central to our species' reproductive strategy and place in our ecosystem, and some would say the key to our evolution. That may not be true on Planet, though. Your ecosystem and programming is completely different and there is no reason that I know of why you can't live forever, Ehm."
But I don't want to live forever if I can't be with you. I don't want my friends to die.
Shannon got a little misty eyed as she thought of an immortal little Ehm watching all his human friends grow old and die, being all alone and feeling abandoned. The yawning future might be gray and bleak in such a world. Maybe immortality wasn't that desirable after all?
"In know, Ehm. I know. "
Mindworms can die, too. I know it.
Shannon perked up.
"Really? How do you know that?"
I felt Alphonse die. He was my friend. He was hurting and the hurt wouldn't go away. His friends killed him near the fungus. He doesn't hurt anymore.
Shannon was nonplussed. A mindworm dying? And that great big demon boil Alphonse? That was new and totally unexpected.
"I'm sorry Ehm. I really am. I liked Alphonse, too, and I knew him from when he was a hatchling. He and Dee had such fun together! I'm sorry to see him go."
Shannon didn't know what to do. It was clear that Ehm was sad, if a mindworm can be sad, with the loss of Alphonse. She wanted to give him a hug to make him feel better, like she had with Greg, but hugging a mindworm was worse than fruitless since they couldn't feel it and simply flowed out of the way. The experience literally made the hairs on her arms stand on end, from more than the residual magnetism.
I felt him go into the fungus. He isn't focused anymore. Is that dying? When a human dies to they go into the fungus, too?
Now Shannon was confused. Unfocused? Going into the fungus?
Going into the fungus!
Slowly a glimmer of understanding crept in. Dee was always talking about the neural conductivity of the fungal network on Planet, or what could be a neural network. What if the sentience of the mindworms was intricately linked, or what if they were linked together through the fungus? The idea of a super-organism of Planet has been floated before, but it was only an interesting theory with no proof. Shannon felt a chill shoot up her spine. That linkage would explain some of the perplexing elements of the Manifold Nexus she had been working on. The Nexus could be like a neural focal point, or what was left of one, for a fungal neural net, which would include the sessile fungus, the myriad of other life forms on Planet, and the sentient mindworm vectors. Could they all be part of one system? Are what humans see as organisms simply part of a larger organism? Maybe mindworms are like intelligent white blood cells?
Alphonse says hello, Lindly. And not to be sad.
Shannon's reverie was broken.
"When did Alphonse tell you that? I thought you said his friends killed him. Did you talk to him before he died?"
No. He just told me. Then he unfocused again. Can humans refocus after they die like Alphonse?
Shannon was a little stunned. Alphonse was still here? In the fungal net? Or was Ehm having a delusion? Thinking back on it, Ehm was quite literal and not fantasy prone. Delusions and imagination are not mindworms' strong point. Humans, however, are quite good at delusion and imagination.
"No, I don't think humans can refocus," she replied with a distracted voice. Shannon thought to herself: If mindworms can refocus after they die, can they really be dead, at least as humans understand it? But more importantly, can they 'refocus' and come back to life? Is Alphonse simply in storage in the fungal net?
Right now Shannon had lots of questions, but few answers. It seemed that the Manifold and Planet got more complex every day. Like it or not, she wasn't relaxed anymore, but invigorated. Questions kept popping into her head, and there was one place where they might be answered.
"Come on, Ehm! Let's go to the Manifold!" Shannon stated.
OK!
Ehm loved going to the Manifold and playing in the ruins. He was also very helpful, since he could get into places that were otherwise inaccessible. Shannon started to get up, and Ehm slid to the ground and made for the door.
"Ehm, I have to get dressed. I only put on robes at home. Remember?"
Yes. Can I help?
Shannon through for a moment, "Sure. Find my work boots. I think they're downstairs."
OK!
Ehm skittered downstairs. To Shannon it was very strange. Even though he was a mindworm there were moments that he reminded of her of Greg when he was little. Happy thoughts darted through her head as Shannon got on her field clothes, thoughts of family old and new. Shannon decided she was very glad Ehm was around, and couldn't imagine life without him.
Isn't that strange? she thought to herself as she finished dressing.
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