All authors please read, i need feedback

[korn469]

Captain Kirk,

that was part of it (i had already noticed it), but not it exactly...it's something else
that i just haven't put my finger on yet thanks for the help so far! i appreciate it very much

korn469

[Alinestra Covelia]

quote: Originally posted by korn469 on 03-02-2000 11:33 PM the offworld corporations have a vested interest in not allowing earth to open up a new source of resources (Janus) and if Earth was going to quietly build up a military fleet to conqure Janus ... korn469

Sorry about this - I'm not a James Bond fan (more like a Nintendo fan who has played entirely too much Goldeneye) but Sean Bean would be turning over in his grave! That is, if he weren't still alive.

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"In all creation, there can be no task more onerous or tedious than that of playing God." - Stephen Fry, 'The Liar'.

[Veracitas]

Hello KoRn. Remember me? From the Chronicles?

Anyhow, I didn't have time to read over this whole post, but I read over your main idea and liked it. I do have one question on technicality, though: where precisely is Janus? Revolving around another star, it seems? How is it that this was not found before? Could Janus possibly be orbiting Alpha Proxima?

--Veracitas

[Vi Vicdi]

First:

Corporations by and large have 2 objectives:

1. Make money
2. Avoid risk

Put another way they are far more likely to sell weapons than to ever use them.

Second:

If the story is about Revere's band the back-home stuff is largely superfluous. "Less is more."

Third:

I've been toying with this idea for years. You may use any part of it you like:

A species descended from herbivores makes first contact with a species descended from carnivores [humans, actually], and the plant-eaters are so prejudiced by the "inherently violent nature of predators" that they feel compelled to exterminate the flesh-eating barbarians.

The "hook", of course, is the irony of the "predators" being the victims and the "prey" the homicidal maniacs. (Similar to Small Soldiers, I guess).

There would be a touch of "species nationalism" as the humans, although technologically outclassed, would draw upon their resourcefulness to ultimately triumph Some kind of "trick ending" where the aliens find out we didn't really evolve from predators but from scavengers, and that's why they lost, would be kind of cool, but would invalidate one of the moral subtexts that it doesn't matter what you evolved from but where you are evolving to.

The main theme of the story would be that naievete endangers the soul; the humans, while not perfect, certainly are better for being in touch with their darker nature, while the "peaceful" herbivores in their ignorance and fear fall easy victim to dishonor. Kind of Nietzchesque, I guess ...
[This message has been edited by Vi Vicdi (edited March 04, 2000).]

[korn469]

think of them more as "resource cartels" than as corporations...they are just highly organized illegal business operations, with a stranglehold on offworld resources

all the ideas sounds good! i will post more later trying to intergrate them all

korn469

[President Jakjon]

Whatever they are, they still fall into the category of "money interests," right? I like Vicardi's ideas. Perhaps the cartels (yes, I like that name!) want to cause a war involving the USE but not them in order to sell weapons through "front" companies while at the same time distracting the USE.

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--President Jakjon
--Datalinks

[Vi Vicdi]

Organized crime has a whole other modus operandi which I am unfortunately[?] not well-versed in. I would expect that, generally speaking, organized crime requires secrecy plus some illegal revenue-generating scheme.
Extortion in particular seems tough because along with secrecy ones organization must have the credibility to intimidate. "You don't know who we are, but we know who you are" will only fly for so long.
"Resource cartels" would act intensely most likely to protect their existing monopoly interest. They are not so much "risk averse" as paranoid about any change that might threaten either their stranglehold on the market or the market's demand for their goods.
DeBeers, which controls virtually everything about the diamond market, is probably about as nasty as a "legitimate" corporation would ever get, which by organized crime standards is pretty tame.
Corporations venturing into organized crime run into the problem of secrecy -- the more resources such a high-profile entity commits to criminal enterprises the harder it becomes to hide it. If it were to happen at all it would almost have to be a private corporation like a DeBeers, not a public corporation like a McDonalds.
I suppose in the future it might be possible for a corporation to gradually evolve into a nation, particularly since nations are tied to geography and space is full of empty places to plant ones flag. Nations will stop at nothing -- Iraq's invasion of Kuwait being a good example. Rogue nations will not hesitate to go to war if they gain by it.
Columbia might be closer to what you were referring to. Its government is under tremendous pressure from the money being pumped into the drug cartels. The cartels are, as a proportion of the Columbian economy, large enough to threaten the stability of the government itself.
That's all I can come up with for now. Good luck with your story!

[Omega Factor]

I think the idea of the U.S uniting the rest of the world is rather unrealistic. But, I understand how you need to incorporate a mostly united earth in your story. For the name, how about:

The Concordance of Terran Nations
The Concordance of Earth Nations
The United Federation of Earth Nations

[Vi Vicdi]

If you need a U.N., call it the U.N.

Why make things more complicated than they need to be?