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Honey, I want to go in Dubai and watch Manchester vs Arsenal this weekend

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  • Honey, I want to go in Dubai and watch Manchester vs Arsenal this weekend

    Platini Ridicules Premier League's Overseas Plans
    Uefa President Michael Platini has branded the Premier League's plan to play games abroad 'a joke', while two target nations, Japan and Australia, also distanced themselves from the idea.

    The Premier League's plan to conquer the world by sending England teams across the globe to play out additional league fixtures could be jeopardised after opposition from Uefa and two of the intended host countries.

    Uefa president Michel Platini has branded the proposal to play an international round of matches from 2011 onwards 'a joke'. "ItĘs a strange and comical idea," said the Frenchman.

    "I laughed because it will never be received by FIFA, by the fans and by the national associations. ItĘs a nonsense idea.

    "ItĘs ironic. You already have no English coach, you have no English players and maybe now you will have no clubs playing in England. ItĘs a joke.”

    World governing body Fifa added that they had not been consulted about this by the Premier League, stating that they would probe any such attempt to play domestic league games internationally.

    Hostile Takeovers
    And although the idea has got the thumbs up from all 20 Premier League chairmen, doubtless encouraged by suggestions of £5m per club on offer for participating in a single international game, the target countries themselves appear hostile.

    It had been supposed that games would take place in countries such as the USA, South Africa, Japan or Australia, but Junji Ogura, vice-president of the Japanese FA, was hardly welcoming of a plan that threatened his country's J-League.

    "It sounds problematic," he said. "We are, in principle, opposed to having their games in Japan as we have to protect our league and clubs. I donĘt think we will change our minds. I also wonder if playing matches abroad would really be good for the Premier League.”

    Australia's soccer Chief Buckley agreed. "Our overwhelming priority is to promote the Hyundai A-League and to continue to invest in the game in Australia.”

    Fan Protests
    American sources are reported to feel the same way about Major League Soccer, while back in the UK the idea has been met with hostility among some managers and players and most supporters. "The Premier League have gone too far with their proposals," read a statement from the Football Supporters' Federation. "The time for football fans to stand up and be counted has arrived.”
    Co-Founder, Apolyton Civilization Site
    Co-Owner/Webmaster, | CTO, Apogee Information Systems my non-mobile non-photo news & articles blog

  • #2
    For once, Platini is right. This is a terrible idea for all sorts of reasons.

    Here's a very funny spoof a mate sent me:

    Well hello soccer fans of the world, its gameweek one in the new season of the WWEPL, and for any new converts to soccer, that's the World Wide England Premier League, the preeemier sports entertainment brand, brought direct to your televison screens, MP4 players and internet live feeds by Vince McMahon and the WWE network, SkySports, Budweiser the KINNNGGG Of beers, McDonalds who are lovin it, Mastercard the official card of the Liverpool Red Handers, LLoyds TSB the bank that likes to say "maybe", Aunt Bessys sponsors of the Pudding of the Week award (by the way soccer fans, Tottenham Hot Yellow Stars goalminder Paul Robinson is going for his eighth successive win in that laugh a minute category), British Telecom who say "we said it's good to talk, not cheap to talk", Sony PS83 where YOU can be in control.

    Gameweek one saw the Manchester AIG Globetrotters taking on the Derby Pedigree Chums in a home tie at The Tena Stadium here in downtown Shenzhen. After standing to attention for the WWEPL anthem, that classic reworking of "Money, Money, Money" sung by the official WWEPL songsters, Simon And The X-Factors, the AIG Globetrotters win the toss and elect to receive the ball facing the Smog End. A wise choice as that way they'll be defending through the chemical haze as it descends to cover their net in the last period.

    The Pedigree Chums kick off and immediately 46 year old veteran Biggggg Stevie Howard fires an attempt at the AIG Globetrotters net. Experienced observers say it was his best attempt in two game years. From the resulting throw on near the AIG Globetrotters defensive corner post however, AIG Globetrotters wing wonder Gary "Grandmaster Flash" McSheffrey takes the ball on an amazing run through the Pedigree Chums deefence before picking up the ball cleverly in the sleeves of his jersey and stepping into the net. GOAL!!! AIG Globetrotters. Amazingly, the Pedigree Chums' manager, Stevie "image rights" Bruce contests the decision saying it was handball. Clearly the ball was only touching McSheffrey's jersey not his hand, but with Image Rights making a Coach's Challenge, we have to go to the viewer vote. A tense five minutes follows as we wait for the online results. IT'S A GOAL, by 124,120,275 votes to 12 at only 25p each so we go into the post goal commercial break as sponsored by KitKat, we see AIG Globetrotters mascot, Ronald McTrafford running onto the touchline ready to tip the bucket of WWEPLade over Image Rights for his unsuccessful coach's challenge. He'll think twice before challenging the AIG Referee again.

    Returning to the match up, Pedigree Chums kick off again and attempt to frustrate the AIG Globetrotters by playing possession soccer across their deefensive line. Did no one tell Image Rights about the new shot clock rule in this soccer game? Five minutes in possesion and no shot attempt, the AIG sponsored referee whistles and throws down his Floors2Go sponsored penalty flag, so it's PENALTY AIG Globetrotters!! Wait! AIG Globetrotters manager Alex BIGMAN Ferguson chooses this moment to introduce his Fan Player For The Day. It appears that 10 year old Zheng Zsi Taong from Beijing, who's father paid over £1,000,000 for him to get the chance to play five minutes in a genyouwine WWEPL matchup will take the penalty shot. Taong runs up in his sparkling new AIG Globetrotter uniform, available from KKC Sports right NOW, and shoots! Oh no, it's saved by the Pedigree Chums Goalminder Maiky Taylor, playing his 264th game without a clean sheet. The boos ring out around The Tena Stadium as little Zheng breaks down in tears. BIGMAN is going ballistic on the touchline and issues a coach's challenge saying that Taylor moved off his line. Unlikely we know, but once again, it's viewer vote time. Five minutes tick agonisingly by for little Zheng, who is being comforted by Christiano "The Portugese ManO'War" Ronaldo's girlfriend, Big Brother 27 Winner, Sharon Slicker and her twin sister who insists on just being called by her intial, R. The votes are in, by 153,356,452 votes to 3 at only 25p each, it's a retake!! and BIGMAN avoids the WWEPLade shower. Punishment for Taylor's cheating is harsh, he's being taken off to Guantanamo Bay already. Little Zheng runs in and FIRES the ball into the empty net. GOAL!!! AIG Globetrotters.

    After the post goal commercial break sponsored by KitKat, the AIG Globetrotters are totally in control. Pedigree Chum's manager Steve Image Rights Bruce has now retired to sit in the Tampax Stand behind the technical area, he appears to be turning purple, but no one can be sure. AIG Globetrotters star centre offense player, Wayne "Mad Dog" Rooney at one stage thinks it's so easy he wanders off into the area of the ground reserved for players post match entertainment, all 3,000 of the gorgeous young AIG Globetrotter cheerleaders sitting there are happy to keep him entertained, especially the 72 year old grandmother of the Slicker twins who appears to be be resting her head in his lap. After a short while Mad Dog is obviously keen to return to the action though, as he appears to be twitching his leg causing her head to keep moving up and down. God bless her for trying to keep his hamstrings warm.

    The second, third and fouth periods of the game followed a similar pattern, AIG Globetrotters totally dominating play, but seeming to show more interest in the gorgeous young cheerleaders than bothering to complete the humiliation of the Pedigree Chums.

    Final Goal Count. Manchester AIG Globetrotters 2, Derby Pedigree Chums 0.
    Attendance 12,500
    TV & Live Feed Audience 1,453,053,865


    • #3
      i knew this was the wrong forum to post this...
      Co-Founder, Apolyton Civilization Site
      Co-Owner/Webmaster, | CTO, Apogee Information Systems my non-mobile non-photo news & articles blog