Zee...

[Serb]

Hi, Satan!
As you can see - this Russian motherf*cker is still standing.

So, I was digging in my writings, which I do once a year or so and found this masterpiece.
But since I a complete perfectionist, I have decided to correct a few mistakes in my translation that I've found.
So, enjoy a new version of "not your cup of tea"

You are the only fan of my poetry here after all.

I believe it is a pretty perfect translation now.

But, PLEASE, correct me, when you find any mistakes!!!



LIGHT MELTS THE ICE

I want so hard to read all of your letters,
While all of the others are just reading rap,
Your letters are full of handwritten digits,
Those are the dates of when we haven’t met,

At the place we are not: a grass grows high,
And sky touches a bottom of river nice!
At the place we are not: from sunrise to dusk,
Light melts the ice,
Light melts the ice…
Light melts the ice…


I want so hard to read all of your letters,
To taste in my mouth the order of words,
As syllables born on this sheet of paper,
I am being born from the seams that I was,

At the place we are not: a grass grows high
And sky touches a bottom of river nice!
At the place we are not: from sunrise to dusk,
Light melts the ice,
Light melts the ice…

[ZEE]

I havent had my own thrade shoutout in years! I think Paiktis was the last one. I found a few things:

"I want so hard to read all of your letters,"

- Saying you want "so hard" to do something makes it sound like a chore.

"And sky touches a bottom of river nice! "

-This makes no sense, and I don't know how to re-word it without breaking cadence. Unless the actual name of the river is River Nice, which might need context.

The rest looks good, but Im not a poet so you'd have to correct those while maintaining flow

[Serb]

I havent had my own thrade shoutout in years! I think Paiktis was the last one. I found a few things:

"I want so hard to read all of your letters,"

- Saying you want "so hard" to do something makes it sound like a chore.

Ok, thanks.
How about that?

"I wish I could read all of your letters,
While all of the others are reading rap"

or perhaps this one:

"I really want to read all of your letters,
While all of the others are reading rap"

The first one is an exact translation of the original text, but I don't know which sounds better in English. Your advice will be welcomed.

"And sky touches a bottom of river nice! "

-This makes no sense, and I don't know how to re-word it without breaking cadence. Unless the actual name of the river is River Nice, which might need context.

The rest looks good, but Im not a poet so you'd have to correct those while maintaining flow

Yeah, the problem is that I need a rhyme for an "ice". The word "nice" is the only thing, which comes to mind.
The literal meaning of the original text means (the exact translation of word to word and I am absolutely sure I have translated it correctly):

"At the place we are not,
the grass is growing
and a sky touches the bottom of all rivers,
At the place we are not,
light melts the snow from morning to morning"

I have substituted "snow" with an "ice", because I think "ice" makes it more romantic, like these two have a story of break-up or something. A "snow" doesn't work well for that, I think. You say "there is an ice between them", not "there is a snow between them", right?
In Russian "from morning to morning" means "all the time/always", so I have substituted it with "from sunrise to dusk", because it makes more sense in English (there is no light at night to melt an ice, right?).

Please check these two options:

At the place we are not - a grass grows high,
When a sky touches a river - that looks very nice,
At the place we are not from sunrise to dusk,
Light melts the ice, Light melts the ice…

At the place we are not - a grass grows high,
When a sky touches a bottom - the river looks nice,
At the place we are not from sunrise to dusk,
Light melts the ice, Light melts the ice…

Which one is better?

So, far my new version is:

I wish I could read all of your letters,
While all of the others are just reading rap,
Your letters are full of handwritten digits,
Those are the dates of when we haven’t met,

At the place we are not - a grass grows high,
When a sky touches a bottom - the river looks nice,
At the place we are not - from sunrise to dusk,
Light melts the ice,
Light melts the ice…
Light melts the ice…


I wish I could read all of your letters,
To taste in my mouth the order of words,
As syllables born on this sheet of paper,
I am being born from the seams that I was,

At the place we are not - a grass grows high,
When a sky touches a bottom - the river looks nice,

At the place we are not - from sunrise to dusk,
Light melts the ice,
Light melts the ice…


Thanks for your help! I really appreciate your opinion!

[Serb]

And here is a hot bonus for your troubles

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UnwHXDTKMVY?feature=share

[Serb]

She is super hot! You got to agree with that.

[Serb]

Okey....

I've switched to a heavy artillery (vodka+grapefruit juice).
So, I'm afraid you will have to tolerate another masterpiece from Serb.
It is perhaps the most difficult song I have ever tried to translate (all those echos and simultaneous singing of difirent lines). It's a nightmare, but it is beautiful and the music is so mesmerizing!

It is far from perfection and needs a lot of polishing, but still, here we go!

If you only just knew,
How far away I'm from you,
(far away from me now)
(far away from me now)

Here the oceans asleep,
Water makes no sound,
(full of silence now)
(full of silence now)

Another sunrise is the only thing,
We are begging to see,
(a new day starts for me)
(a new day starts for me)

Me and the oceans are in need of your words,
(far away from the Earth)
(far away from the Earth)

When all of the stars will die over my head,
I will still be with you, I am not really dead,
And even if Earth will turn into dust,
I will not be alone, because I’ve got us!

When all of the stars will die over my head,
I will not be alone, I am not really dead,
And even if Earth will stop breathing too,
I won’t be alone, because I’ve got you!

If you only just knew
There is no life without you
(there is only you)
(there is only you)

My songs are silent
There is no use for them
(no one needs my songs here)
(no one needs my songs here)

I scream for you, but my shout
just cannot get through
(I just call for you)
(I just call for you)

I'm calling you loud
But you are silent somewhere
(too far away from here)
(too far away from me now)

When the stars will die out above our heads,
I will not be alone to face all those deaths
When the Earth will start falling and turning to dust
I will not be alone, because I've got "us"!

When the stars will die out over my head,
I will not be alone and there is no death!
When the Earth will start falling and stop breathing too
I will not be alone, because I've got you!
(because I’ve got you)
(because I’ve got you)
(because I’ve got you)
(because I’ve got you)

[Serb]

And some old good Soviet music as a bonus:

[Serb]

AI keeps scaring me.

AI lefts the original songs and Kanye's crap songs so behind when it combines them.
AI rocks!!!

[Serb]

Enjoy the original

[Serb]

And a real masterpiece from AI:

:r ockon:

It is a cover of Russian song of 2006 by singer Maxim.

[ZEE]

lots of stuff here lol, but that second poem you wrote looks fine, congratulations!

in your amended first poem i found:

"When a sky touches a bottom - the river looks nice,"

--this is just a syntax thing unless there is more than one "sky" to touch the bottom, maybe when "when the sky touches the bottom".

[Serb]

Ok, thank you very much! :beer:

[Serb]

Just in case you guys didn't know that this "Silver night" song, which is number 1 on Shazam World's top chart right now is an AI cover of the old good SOVIET song of 1988!

The guy who made this cover using AI is a Russian, who lives in Europe now and he refused to reveal his real name, because he afraids in the nazi Europe he can be arrested for propaganda of Russian culture.

The original of 1988:

The singer (Yuri Shatunov) have died at age 50 in 2022.
May he rest in peace.
Every Russian knows this song.
It is perhaps the most popular song in Russian Karaoke for decades.

[Serb]

"Mother Earth, you are a holy Rus for me,
for other you are a pain in the ass".