Tweet
Some Surprises (maybe), and here's to Ming!
First,
Here's to Ming
​ 
​,
Most frustratingly patient moderator and now owner in history!
​
​​​​​]
Hi everyone, it's been 10 years since I came here, I used to be a regular on this site, but due to some major life circumstances, I had to leave without much of a farewell. But as anyone who has been in 'Poly for a while knows, you can't ever leave, well you can, but.... you're not going to like it.
​ = 
​... uh .... 
​
I wanted to give a heartfelt apology and a special thanks and appreciation to the person behind Ming. I know I was a pain to deal with when I was a teenager, when I first came to this forum, and despite some of my earlier antics that may be correlated to the need for moderation for the Off-Topic (yeah I was kinda bad
​), and my gloating that after my first login was finally "force-retired," I was now the "Thorn in Ming's side" 
​ ; I have to say life has a way of putting things in perspective 
​ 
​.
But in all reality, I can credit Ming with possibly saving my life, to be honest. Anyone else would have just seen the stuff I pulled as an immediate perm ban
​ 
​; instead of having the patience and the wisdom to understand and identify me as a real troubled youth! The depths of which some of you would not have imagined. If he had responded to permanent banning immediately in the condition I was in I would have gotten madder and probably looked for a more desperate angry place where I probably would have been radicalized, but god knows what! 
​ 
​
​
​
​ Knowing my initial feelings of alienation and my fascination with bad things like war, and conquering I could have been a neo-Nazi or something bad like that I could see that. Knowing I eventually wouldn't fit in there even, and the result of it would probably put me on a more self destructive path, I could have been anything from a school shooter, to a serial killer, to a terrorist.
But that little bit of patience and understanding wise Ming had at the time, deflected tragedy at least in my life if not others!
That said, what really was going on in my life at the time. Was extreme social isolation, alienation, and social posturing to be someone I thought I had to be. I was so afraid of being called weak or scared that I took the path of making myself seem macho, and super masculine; which did direct harm to who I was. Also remember this was back in the late 1990s, I didn't have resources, or knowledge of certain concepts, therefore I assumed I couldn't fix hating myself!
For the big reveal:
I am again Thorn; Besides being the following logins on Apolyton in order:
Evan von Christoph
Thorn
Emperor Craetsezar
Evan Madrigal
FormallyKnownAsThorn (can someone hit me
​ for spelling this so badly please!)
Turns out I suffered from an extreme form of undiagnosed at the time medical gender Dysphoria. What that means is I didn't recognize my body as anything but alien to me. With my self-loathing, lack of understanding, and no help from a good support system in spite of some psychiatric notice and treatment I never was getting better. I was hospitalized twice in my youth (I was quite the chaos engine, people who left the job later on remembered me, as I later found out that it's a small world.), and had so much documentation that I was given full disability at age 17, without government objection, which in the USA is rare btw.
Years passed, and I still am unhappy my mind continued to deteriorate, I finally began to learn about the LGBTQIA+ community, which helped me realize I was not resigned to being a girl trapped in a boys body to the total detriment of my health.
So yeah, I am transgender-women of 40 years old now. I've been more stable and happy with certain aspects of my life then ever before. I'm actually not the only trans person on 'Poly but I wont out anyone in spite of how bad they treated me, as that's not right and not my place or time.
So again lets give a warm thank you to Ming, thank you for your years of service here, for your help, and for being a friend it took me a long time to recognize!
Hail Ming Imperator of Apolyton!
​
Thank you friend.
As for the rest of 'Poly, if you like me you can call me Anna, if you don't like me; I can always show you that people actually can identify as attack helicopters!
​ lol 
​
​
Here's to Ming
​ ​,Most frustratingly patient moderator and now owner in history!
​​​​​​]Hi everyone, it's been 10 years since I came here, I used to be a regular on this site, but due to some major life circumstances, I had to leave without much of a farewell. But as anyone who has been in 'Poly for a while knows, you can't ever leave, well you can, but.... you're not going to like it.
​ = ​... uh .... ​I wanted to give a heartfelt apology and a special thanks and appreciation to the person behind Ming. I know I was a pain to deal with when I was a teenager, when I first came to this forum, and despite some of my earlier antics that may be correlated to the need for moderation for the Off-Topic (yeah I was kinda bad
​), and my gloating that after my first login was finally "force-retired," I was now the "Thorn in Ming's side" ​ ; I have to say life has a way of putting things in perspective ​ ​.But in all reality, I can credit Ming with possibly saving my life, to be honest. Anyone else would have just seen the stuff I pulled as an immediate perm ban
​ ​; instead of having the patience and the wisdom to understand and identify me as a real troubled youth! The depths of which some of you would not have imagined. If he had responded to permanent banning immediately in the condition I was in I would have gotten madder and probably looked for a more desperate angry place where I probably would have been radicalized, but god knows what! ​ ​​​​ Knowing my initial feelings of alienation and my fascination with bad things like war, and conquering I could have been a neo-Nazi or something bad like that I could see that. Knowing I eventually wouldn't fit in there even, and the result of it would probably put me on a more self destructive path, I could have been anything from a school shooter, to a serial killer, to a terrorist.But that little bit of patience and understanding wise Ming had at the time, deflected tragedy at least in my life if not others!
That said, what really was going on in my life at the time. Was extreme social isolation, alienation, and social posturing to be someone I thought I had to be. I was so afraid of being called weak or scared that I took the path of making myself seem macho, and super masculine; which did direct harm to who I was. Also remember this was back in the late 1990s, I didn't have resources, or knowledge of certain concepts, therefore I assumed I couldn't fix hating myself!
For the big reveal:
I am again Thorn; Besides being the following logins on Apolyton in order:
Evan von Christoph
Thorn
Emperor Craetsezar
Evan Madrigal
FormallyKnownAsThorn (can someone hit me
​ for spelling this so badly please!)Turns out I suffered from an extreme form of undiagnosed at the time medical gender Dysphoria. What that means is I didn't recognize my body as anything but alien to me. With my self-loathing, lack of understanding, and no help from a good support system in spite of some psychiatric notice and treatment I never was getting better. I was hospitalized twice in my youth (I was quite the chaos engine, people who left the job later on remembered me, as I later found out that it's a small world.), and had so much documentation that I was given full disability at age 17, without government objection, which in the USA is rare btw.
Years passed, and I still am unhappy my mind continued to deteriorate, I finally began to learn about the LGBTQIA+ community, which helped me realize I was not resigned to being a girl trapped in a boys body to the total detriment of my health.
So yeah, I am transgender-women of 40 years old now. I've been more stable and happy with certain aspects of my life then ever before. I'm actually not the only trans person on 'Poly but I wont out anyone in spite of how bad they treated me, as that's not right and not my place or time.
So again lets give a warm thank you to Ming, thank you for your years of service here, for your help, and for being a friend it took me a long time to recognize!
Hail Ming Imperator of Apolyton!
​Thank you friend.
As for the rest of 'Poly, if you like me you can call me Anna, if you don't like me; I can always show you that people actually can identify as attack helicopters!
​ lol ​​
Comment