how much does a baby add to the marriage?

[Abominable]

was at a party tonight. and this came up. it actually got a little heated for a moment. not me - i was just there... feeling 'a little' uncomfortable. so the question...

[Buster Crabbe's Uncle]

No kids with Mrs. Hates Civ?

[EPW]

+ One baby, - all free time. Still worth it.

[Wezil]

About 7.5 lbs.

[Buster Crabbe's Uncle]

-Plus the weight of all the poop.

I hear there's a lot of poop - there certainly was with Buster...

[N35t0r]

was at a party tonight. and this came up. it actually got a little heated for a moment. not me - i was just there... feeling 'a little' uncomfortable. so the question...

Like everything else, the answer is 'it depends'.

In my case? The world

[PLATO]

So...a baby ending up adding 16 years of child support payments to my first marriage....sigh

[Jon Miller]

+ One baby, - all free time. Still worth it.

I feel like this is the most true comment.

Basically, Children are amazing and being a parent is a wonderful experience. It is definitely the sort of thing that one should get married to do, because doing it alone is just so much more of a challenge. But even doing it together is a challenge, and in some way might subtract from the relationship if it was based on other together things (like a business or a hobby/etc).

Also, the commitment to the child is there and can't be ended like the commitment to the marriage, as PLATO notes.

I should note that being a parent is hard work and expensive. I use to think that all adults who didn't have certain serious problems should be parents, because we owed it to the world. I still think we owe it to the world, but I now recognize that the challenge of being a good parent is high enough that I no longer encourage most everyone to be a parent. If you aren't a parent, you should give back more in other ways, towards the future, because you do owe it.

JM