Bright ideas, issue 5113468: “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us,”

[BeBMan]

Urban legend has it that Area 51 is a weird place. Yet even if the conspiracy theories are true and the Nevada air force facility harbors extraterrestrial technology and/or life, it would still barely qualify as being weirder than the internet where, early this month the anonymous users behind a Facebook meme page proposed a jaunty group invasion of the restricted compound.


In a Facebook event titled “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us,” the creators explain: “We will all meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and coordinate our entry. If we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Let’s see them aliens.”


The “naruto run” part of this call to action refers to the particular, oft-memed, ostrich-like sprint of a popular Japanese anime character.


Their plan, scheduled for the wee hours of 20 September, has gained momentum; 1.5 million people have RSVP’d as “attending” the raid, while 1.1 million more are “interested”.

(snipsnap)

full: https://www.theguardian.com/science/...facebook-event

[The Mad Monk]

Clyde Lewis, famous(?) host of the supernatural conspitacy talk radio show Ground Zero, mentioned this on his program and then said, "Um, guys? No. Just No."

[Lorizael]

Yeah. When I went to Area 51, I didn't broadcast it across social media first.

[The Mad Monk]

I should probably note that he wasn't disputing the "see the aliens" part, just the "They Can’t Stop All of Us" part.

They can. Oh, they can.

[Broken_Erika]

Oh yeah, lets all try to storm the top secret USAF base where they test all their experimental aircraft and weapons. What could possibly go wrong?

[The Mad Monk]

He said something along the lines of, "I've seen the gatling guns they have there -- when they use tracer rounds at night, they look like ray guns -- they can put a copper jacketed round on every square inch of a football field in three seconds."

[spambot]

Okay but what if you run so fast they can't see you?

[Aeson]

If they're smart they'd just use the alien cloaking devices to hide all the alien corpses, and let all the nerds verify that everything is terrestrial in origin.

[The Mad Monk]

Okay but what if you run so fast they can't see you?

Well, they are Naruto running...

[Berzerker]

we'll see how many attend the raid and how many participate

[The Mad Monk]

We will?

It is Area 51, after all.

[spambot]

They will all be corralled into a space freighter and shipped off to a meatpacking plant near Barnard's Star.

[Dinner]

I am imagining over weight middle aged white guys whose idea of "storming" is waddling as quick as they can for 100 yards then looking around for a Walmart scooter.

[Broken_Erika]

I am imagining over weight middle aged white guys whose idea of "storming" is waddling as quick as they can for 100 yards then looking around for a Walmart scooter.

I just had a mental image of thousands of middle aged white guys riding across the desert towards area 51 in Wallmart scooters.

[BeBMan]

Well, they are Naruto running...

I thought long and hard about this issue and now I'm concerned that this movement is making a critical mistake:

Naruto running, if well executed, might make them faster than bullets, but if there is indeed Alien technology stored, researched, and improved secretly at Area 51 they could run into deadly raygun fire, and even the bestest of all Naruto runners would certainly be unable to outrun those death rays...