Do you sufer from Kwanzaphobia?

[Aeson]

Was the original point of Christmas to get a bunch of presents from a jolly fat man breaking into your house?

[BeBMan]

The idea of Santa Claus originated historically from the age of Vikings, when Einarrgud Kidisson came home from an extensive tour of plundering. He had put all the stuff he had stolen into a big bag, and his mantle was red from the blood of all those people that struggled to understand his concept of christmas. However, his kids loved it, and so it became a yearly institution.

[Kidlicious]

Was the original point of Christmas to get a bunch of presents from a jolly fat man breaking into your house?

You still believe that he actually believes in American values?

[Aeson]

The idea of Santa Claus originated historically from the age of Vikings, when Einarrgud Kidisson came home from an extensive tour of plundering. He had put all the stuff he had stolen into a big bag, and his mantle was red from the blood of all those people that struggled to understand his concept of christmas. However, his kids loved it, and so it became a yearly institution.

Well, that does sound more American ...

[Aeson]

You still believe that he actually believes in American values?

Of course. Santa is the ultimate American. He:

Moves his production out of the US to take advantage of tax havens and a workforce that has no other options, just like American corporations.

Has stealth technology which he uses to fly over other countries undetected, just like the CIA and Air Force.

Has intelligence gathering on everything we do or say, just like the NSA.

Is fat, like Americans.

[Kidlicious]

You forgot that he's white, or is he black now?

[Aeson]

Have you ever looked at Santa? He has white at the very tip top of his cap ... white trim on his hat ... white hair on the top of his head ... no black can rise above the belt. And what do bad children get? Coal. Which is black. He's definitely racist.

[Kidlicious]

Does he give the good children free cell phones?

[Aeson]

Sometimes, if they're really good.

[Kidlicious]

Sometimes, if they're really good.

And oppressed by the old Kwanzaphobic Santa?

[Berzerker]

Have you ever looked at Santa? He has white at the very tip top of his cap ... white trim on his hat ... white hair on the top of his head ... no black can rise above the belt. And what do bad children get? Coal. Which is black. He's definitely racist.

he looks like a magic mushroom

reindeer are fond of the stuff, they enjoy tripping too

the chimney? Siberian homes usually get snowed in so they build a roof entrance

the tree? thats where the lil mushrooms like to grow

[Egbert]

Of course. Santa is the ultimate American. He:

Moves his production out of the US to take advantage of tax havens and a workforce that has no other options, just like American corporations.

Has stealth technology which he uses to fly over other countries undetected, just like the CIA and Air Force.

Has intelligence gathering on everything we do or say, just like the NSA.

Is fat, like Americans.

No, he must be Australian. he:

- breaks into houses

- looks like he is drunk

- sneaks around after dark

- he is fat

- he leaves to work to everyone else (elves)