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Have you ever burned out?
How do you know it's coming and how serious have you gotten it? How to avoid it?
Been pushing too hard for too long. Every other week I am in another country, doing very demanding work, and then the rest of the time at the office in Helsinki, where the work is a lot easier but sucks, as in the talent is less and too many meetings.
When in Helsinki, I have the kids. So I am waking up to the reality that I have 0 days of "me time". I was able to do this for 2 months, but now that I my son has been acting up a bit, I feel tired beyond belief and I cannot function properly. Irritated, tired, I want to sleep all the time, not alert, not motivated, fairly negative at all times with very few expections. Feel like only an inch away, the wrong incident, and I could just blow out. Meaning I'll start shouting and screaming in public.
Tiredness does not help when two active kids need attention and I have too little to give. They've been running around the house and fihgting the whole day. My son gets up at 2am every night and cries for nightmares. So I get up. Then he wakes up at 5am for poo, and I need to wipe his butt. And then I need to get up at 6am for work. Every night. There is no time for rest. Only taking care of kids, and I need to do every single task there is, clean the house. The only time I have to read a book, which is mandatory to keep my sanity, is in public transportation, which is of course filled with people who talk loudly, or are on the phone. The day comes when I will shout at them to stfu. Which is unreasonable.
I cannot survive with the rate that I'm going with. Things at work suck, *******s are failing upwards while people who actually do everything keep their mouths shut. I have not done anything productive at the office for a few weeks now. It seems to be enough to show up and sit. Yet it makes the tiredness worse. Our offices is a huge open office, and I hate every single bit of it. These days I've declined all meetings, and I do not care. I read only few emails of the tens (sometimes a hundred or so) because people seem to think sending a lot of emails is actually productive. I do security, and our flaws are elsewhere. I just keep on the basic stuff, while these good-for-nothing ***** keep on making powerpoints about next generation what ever they read on the latest Gartner. I've stopped reading the ppt's, too. And I could care less what the market analysts say about product x. I have not send a single report the whole year and I will finish the year as such. And somehow I don't have a holiday break for Christmas. I've plenty of vacation days, and seemingly no time to have them.
I think I need a month to recover. Do absolutely nothing but go outdoors, sleep, read, and shut my phone off. These extoverted *******s with their calendars destroy the good world of others. I hope they choke on their ties. I strongly believe 25 % of the people do 100 % of the work. 25 % pretend to do work but avoid it, and the rest are hindering the real work getting done.
I've discussed this with work place therapist who said it sounds like what many others are saying to her as well, and that the atmosphere is really poor. I know it is. It's Game of Thrones where all the unqualified people try to get power to seem relevant.
In summary: I can't sleep, and I can't take my sleep meds due to my son acting up, and so I am comatozed, and they both make a lot of noise at the same time, which would tax anyone. Then I go to the huge open office where adults do the same. Except the amount of people talking at the same time goes up to a 100 at my floor. My head is about to explode, I need quiteness and none is available. Irritated with a head ache 24/7. The rest of the time I spend on another country, on my way there our back, with talented people and real things happening, where my work is actually directly applied and appreciated by people who are on another scale of security. Yet it means that I have 0 days or hours where I can be by myself or... see friends for example. The last time I saw a friend was in October. Had few dates after that, one was good, hope to meet her again soon, but other than that. And now I have to run to teh shower so we can still get a bday present for my daughter's friend. They're antsy, and a fight is about to start. No doubt they will both argue the whole way tehre and back, and I'll be reffing it from the driver's seat.
I'm afraid I am going to hit rock bottom due to the environments loudness and light pollution, and I've no idea when I get re-charged. And yes, the Christmas is coming too and not looking fwd to it. I wish I could just sleep. That's my only true bday wish. Along with staying healthy of course. Other than that, it seems like I am not cut out to work 24/7. I am so tired, that I try not to cry when the kids are here. I mean it. I am ****ing tired.
How do you know it's coming and how serious have you gotten it? How to avoid it?
Been pushing too hard for too long. Every other week I am in another country, doing very demanding work, and then the rest of the time at the office in Helsinki, where the work is a lot easier but sucks, as in the talent is less and too many meetings.
When in Helsinki, I have the kids. So I am waking up to the reality that I have 0 days of "me time". I was able to do this for 2 months, but now that I my son has been acting up a bit, I feel tired beyond belief and I cannot function properly. Irritated, tired, I want to sleep all the time, not alert, not motivated, fairly negative at all times with very few expections. Feel like only an inch away, the wrong incident, and I could just blow out. Meaning I'll start shouting and screaming in public.
Tiredness does not help when two active kids need attention and I have too little to give. They've been running around the house and fihgting the whole day. My son gets up at 2am every night and cries for nightmares. So I get up. Then he wakes up at 5am for poo, and I need to wipe his butt. And then I need to get up at 6am for work. Every night. There is no time for rest. Only taking care of kids, and I need to do every single task there is, clean the house. The only time I have to read a book, which is mandatory to keep my sanity, is in public transportation, which is of course filled with people who talk loudly, or are on the phone. The day comes when I will shout at them to stfu. Which is unreasonable.
I cannot survive with the rate that I'm going with. Things at work suck, *******s are failing upwards while people who actually do everything keep their mouths shut. I have not done anything productive at the office for a few weeks now. It seems to be enough to show up and sit. Yet it makes the tiredness worse. Our offices is a huge open office, and I hate every single bit of it. These days I've declined all meetings, and I do not care. I read only few emails of the tens (sometimes a hundred or so) because people seem to think sending a lot of emails is actually productive. I do security, and our flaws are elsewhere. I just keep on the basic stuff, while these good-for-nothing ***** keep on making powerpoints about next generation what ever they read on the latest Gartner. I've stopped reading the ppt's, too. And I could care less what the market analysts say about product x. I have not send a single report the whole year and I will finish the year as such. And somehow I don't have a holiday break for Christmas. I've plenty of vacation days, and seemingly no time to have them.
I think I need a month to recover. Do absolutely nothing but go outdoors, sleep, read, and shut my phone off. These extoverted *******s with their calendars destroy the good world of others. I hope they choke on their ties. I strongly believe 25 % of the people do 100 % of the work. 25 % pretend to do work but avoid it, and the rest are hindering the real work getting done.
I've discussed this with work place therapist who said it sounds like what many others are saying to her as well, and that the atmosphere is really poor. I know it is. It's Game of Thrones where all the unqualified people try to get power to seem relevant.
In summary: I can't sleep, and I can't take my sleep meds due to my son acting up, and so I am comatozed, and they both make a lot of noise at the same time, which would tax anyone. Then I go to the huge open office where adults do the same. Except the amount of people talking at the same time goes up to a 100 at my floor. My head is about to explode, I need quiteness and none is available. Irritated with a head ache 24/7. The rest of the time I spend on another country, on my way there our back, with talented people and real things happening, where my work is actually directly applied and appreciated by people who are on another scale of security. Yet it means that I have 0 days or hours where I can be by myself or... see friends for example. The last time I saw a friend was in October. Had few dates after that, one was good, hope to meet her again soon, but other than that. And now I have to run to teh shower so we can still get a bday present for my daughter's friend. They're antsy, and a fight is about to start. No doubt they will both argue the whole way tehre and back, and I'll be reffing it from the driver's seat.
I'm afraid I am going to hit rock bottom due to the environments loudness and light pollution, and I've no idea when I get re-charged. And yes, the Christmas is coming too and not looking fwd to it. I wish I could just sleep. That's my only true bday wish. Along with staying healthy of course. Other than that, it seems like I am not cut out to work 24/7. I am so tired, that I try not to cry when the kids are here. I mean it. I am ****ing tired.
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