Found my Galadriel :)

[Pekka]

So I've been making all these threads about me, forever. Like.. all of them. And when people don't read them anymore, I jsut start a new one! Huzzah!

I went to see this wonderful woman I've been dating (that gamer/doctor/goddess), a few times on the 23rd. Quite romantic, on the verge of Xmas. She did not even know I had NOTHING planned for this Xmas. I was borderline depressed, kids at their moms, my mom back in the US, no Xmas dinner, nothing. But.. this wonderful woman I have a crush on asked me to join her at her home. So YES!

We had fun, no sex, we have only kissed and hugged, held hands and talked a lot. And sit close to each other, just general closeness and touchy feely. It dawned upon me that I had not mentioned about the kids to her explicitly enough. So it was a bit of a surprise to her that I had two kids of which both I had a joint custody on and that I was an active father as well.

Well this turned out to be a positive thing. I mean active fathers, it is a good thing, of course, unless you don't want kids. Or you want only YOUR kids. So I had wine and she offered her couch and apologised not letting me in her bed to sleep with her. I said don't worry, couch be fine. She made me some Xmas breakfast and we ate together, wathced Hogfather and just had a general good time. I started to develop a serious crush on her. Shelves, filled with board games, fantasy, scifi and science books. Pretty as hell, kind of like dana scully but thinner. Super smart. A bit of a geek. Sexy.

So... I asked if she wanted to check out the new SW with me and she replied "How about today?" and we went, had fun, I wanted to tell her about the fact that I have had brain cancer. She is a doctor so she might want to know... it could be a deal breaker. I knwo LOTS of women who consider it to be a deal breaker. If you are in a relationship, then no, but if not, then why start one?

So.. we did not have enough time to go for a proper dinner or drinks afterwards because she had to go to her friend's b-day party. I dropped her off and could not just say it quickly. "Hey honey, how do you feel about my cancer past? Still on? Wanna see the Star Trek later on?"

So I did the unthinkable. I actually texted her AS she was in the bday party and asked "please can I call you tomorrow, or what was your private email (not work), something I need to tell you". She gave me the info and said this sounds serious, everything ok?

So of course I ruined her evening with it. Or so I thought.

I wrote an email and then I rewrote it like a million times because it was too long, TMI, too dark, too intimate, too personal. Then I was able to cut it down to a reasonable amount of words, giving all the facts, putting few smilies in there and apologising for putting it in an email and that I tried to say it before but I just failed. and that she would have to accept me as I am, to be the weird to my strange. That most have a problem with it but if she doesn't, hey come on and let's get it on. Just asking to please don't leave me hanging, call me in the morning to avoid misunderstandings and I just want to know how she feels about it , because it does matter.

It was still a bit long, but she replied like in 5 minutes and I was like damn, that quick of a turndown?

But no, it was like "hi sweetie, I read your message and it has absolutely nothing that scares me of freaks me out. I am happy for you and do not worry, all is well " and then some sleepy hugs.

DAAAMN! That is it! All the skeletons have been let out and she says OK!

How does a HOT young doctor say yes to the weirdest guy with suspicious medical history and even more suspicious relationships and jobs? Whose idea if romance is to tell "I am in touch with my feelings since I almost died". Well I did say I think she is weird and since I am strange, I feel completely normal around her and that is good. I think that is the one that got her. So we are still on.

So next up some more restaurants and she could come here to my place. And this... is a cave of romance. I will seduce her with my Raspberry Pi and lab network. Yes.... I was so sure it would go to hell that I was like sad and stuff, putting kids to sleep and reading their bed time stories with a lump in my throat, feeling sorry for myself.

WRONG! We are doing better than ever here! THANK YOU DIVORCE! I did not even know such awesome women existed.

[Lorizael]

If awesomeness is in finite supply, Pekka, you're ruining it for the rest of us.

[-Jrabbit]

Merry Christmas, Pekka!

[onodera]

Way to go, Pekka, be happy.

[Alexander's Horse]

oh I thought this was the exchanging bodily fluids episode.

[Sava]

Gj

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk

[Pekka]

AH, nope... that will be later on, hopefully. She is wonderfully doctorish about it. She was seriously sick for almost a week so it has to wait... it's amazing that someone has a job that overrides everything.

In the meanwhile, Star Wars was pretty good. We watched it until the very end, holding hands, of course. Romantic ****. Could not find things to complain after, mostly good stuff. Of course the meta gay relationship between Poe(t?) and Finn was cool.

I have never experienced this. But being on call for a hospital actually takes a lot. I am deeply in troubles already. Why? Because I keep thinking of her. I mean we spent the last 30 hours together from 72 possible and I already feel like it was years ago. So I have to be kind of more sane and not be pushy.

Good sign, she has talked to her brother about me, who wanted to know about few things (security related). SO yes, she has told to her closest family that she has met a man. THat can't be bad, she obviously must like me. We have talked about very serious topics, so as to see if there is a real match, went through all the deal breakers.

Mad crush for me because I keep thinking how to make the next step. It would suck too badly to kind of go from dating into not a relationship. I have to remind myself we have dated less than a month. We've both been divorced the same time... but I guess I will ask her out or ask if she wants to come to my place in January.

Now, she is obviously going to talk about me to her friends, I think she already has, but I hope she won't be persuaded by others to "think about it, with the cancer past and all". Then again, she is a grown up and most likely makes her own decisions. She is way too intelligent to let others influence her too much. So next I will try to have a date in here, cooking and movie date. I will wine and dine her, see what happens. Take it to the next level when ever we feel comfortable. TO have a crush is not a wonderful feeling. It is painful in missing and temporary insanity.

I did the unthinkable and mentioned her to the kids, as they already spent this Xmas at their moms boyfriend (yes, the one she cheated with), and they've had sleep overs there and not even mention it.... well that's OK with me... showed a pic of her and the kids immediately wanted to see her, like now. Well, she has expressed an interest to see the kids so she can come here when ever she can. I guess I am protecting myself as I do not even want to think about it too much, and to not screw it up with being so pushy and aggressive. So I guess I will become like a monk and meditate and almost with a sociopathic cold calculation count the days and not just fire messages like a stalker (which I don't do, freaking hate getting them, I've had a few excited women in the past... ). Well it leaves with time to learn like new foods so we can cook together and I can impress her not only with my mad striptease skills but also cooking. Plus, I get to go full geek and it's liek a foreplay. My bookshelf is nearly not as impressive as hers. It was _amazing_.

[Alexander's Horse]

Keep taking it slowly, very wise

But otoh my motto was try and nail them at least once, for the trophy cabinet, just in case it doesn't work out

[Pekka]

On paper it's going good. I was a bit pushy and aggressive, since no kissie kissie I want to find out what's going on. So I invited her here, saying hey hte kids might be here or not, but you're welcome. For sure aggressive but I don't want to go to friend zone slowly but surely. I keep saying I like you and care for you so come over. Now she agreed to come over to my place on 1st, so that's next Friday. I will be definitely trying to introduce to my tales of the 1000 tentacles. If she goes away, she will give an explanation that she wants it slower. If not, hey, we're on. I don't think it is wise to wait too much longer anymore. And that will open up the discussion like hey, I really do just more than "like you". We keep talking about relationship stuff, so it needs to go somewhere. Can't be sitting and watching movies all day long. I mean we can, as long as we are both on the same page.

She might be also waiting for me to take action. Like a some sort of a sadistic test if I am man enough or something; the thing is, I have no clue.
But I'll go for it. I'll make her some hangover pizza, let her sit on the couch, make some jokes about the deviance that will be going on after the movie and let her know my thing about feet and shoes, and how lovely shoes she has, and then probably just ask her to give me her feet so it'll be more comfortable. Sit close to her, take her hand, start kissie kissie. I think that's sort of aggressive but leaving her a way out if she really does not want, and then we can talk what's wrong. Of course I will be offering her alcohol first like a true champ.

Summarum. I will set everything up so we can kiss, and take it from there. It would be kind of weird for her not to go for it. It would be an act of treason almost. No sex I understand, no kissing, not really. I mean she is healthy by then.

[Dinner]

It sounds like things are working out well.

[Pekka]

They are. I don't think it is such a bad thing that my biggest issue is try to get her to have sex with me or at least do more stuff.

To be honest, I really like her a lot anyway. I like to just hold hands, have her on my lap and watch some geek stuff. Discuss. I really do enjoy it. Maybe sex would be a downer, even. However, I somehow think if I don't even go for it, we're going ot be friends at some point instead of bizarre lovers. And we need to be in the kink zone. edit: besides I have been a bit timid because it was on the back of my mind she might not consider me at all after knowing about the cancer. Now that she knows and is cool abou tit, I can let the beast out!

[pchang]

Going straight to the tentacle hentai? Wow!

[Dinner]

Honestly, this lady sounds like a much better catch than your ex-wife. Not only is she beautiful but she is also accomplished and educated (a doctor in her own right) and best of all she is not mentally ill nor does she act malicious as towards you as ex-wife did. She even accepts your past medical history and that you are a father. Let me please give you a hearty congratulations, my friend.

Still, you must make sure she know you are interested in her as a partner, long term, without putting her off by being too borish. That can be a difficult needle to thread but it truly sounds like you are planning it well. Make sure to let us know how things progress, I admit our advice is not always the best but we mean well and you are part of the poly family so we all send the best wishes.

[Bereta_Eder]

Pekka is getting squeezed into the friend zone because he's not being dynamic enough and does everything wrong.

The part "I don't mind about your medical history" can be translated as "holy ****. Thank god I found out" and the rest is just an attempt to self flaterry (he's interested in me, might squeeze a bit of affection before I let him go".

Hopefully this will not be the case but pekka needs to change his tune fast and not be wishy washy but assertive in a straighforward manner. And the sooner the better 'cause the wheels are turning

[Pekka]

Bereta, I don't think it translates to that, even though it could. Why? Because she agreed to come to my place on the 1st. We will make hangover pizza and probably something else as well.

However, you are correct in the sense that I need to be more assertive. I have placed my words carefully, everything future oriented. Stating I am not interested in hook ups, I am in this for a relationship. She is way to busy and smart, and good to hang around jsut to be friends and not say she's not into it. When I went to her place and stayed the night, she did say I can stay for the morning and we can hang out until she tells me to **** off. She sets boundaries like that. She never told me so... to **** off that is. She is warm and very ... how should I put this. Intelligent... and definitely kinky. I'll take her word for it.

At the same time, if I rushed myself, she might punch me in the face. Surely I will still take my chances. On Friday. Ultimately I think you are on the right track. We are both serious but no time for wishy washy. We can be assertive AND patient.

I'm sure she knew though. She is NOT an idiot. Facebook suggested we be friends so I figure she googled me a looong time ago. So, then she knows. In my mind I jsut told her what she already knew and she might in fact appreciate it. So I'm sure she knew. Her not minding are not her exact words, it was more to the tone of that does not scare me off or freak me out at all, all is good and very well. And she agreed to come here on the 1st of Jan. She would not, if she did not want to. She is not the kind of woman to do that. She would tell me to **** off. Well no... she would tell me that she is sorry but she thinks it's not a good idea because x, y and z but it was fun and we should be friends.

Naah my Greek man friend, she is into Pekkaland.