Masculinities 101

[Kidlicious]

That isn't a very manly thing to say

[rah]

I've never been hung up on always trying to act manly so I'll take that as a compliment.

[Kidlicious]

I've never been hung up on always trying to act manly so I'll take that as a compliment.

When you judge another man for wearing a hat that helps him drink beer more efficiently then you obviously have a problem.

[rah]

No I was making fun of a person that doesn't realize how stupid it makes them look. Does anyone else here not think it makes you look stupid?

[Kidlicious]

No I was making fun of a person that doesn't realize how stupid it makes them look. Does anyone else here not think it makes you look stupid?

What definition of man are you using? I was using the definition that says a man does things efficiently instead of inefficiently because a room full of idiots think he's ridiculous.

[rah]

You've watched too many beer commercials.
Real men strive not to look ridiculous,

[giblets]

What definition of man are you using? I was using the definition that says a man does things efficiently instead of inefficiently because a room full of idiots think he's ridiculous.

So basically you're a sexist idiot?

[Kidlicious]

You've watched too many beer commercials.
Real men strive not to look ridiculous,

Real men strive not to be ridiculous. The saddest part is that you're too old to learn

[rah]

Obviously you have failed the real men test then. And continue to do so many times a day here.

[Dry]

I know I am late on this topic, but I do not visit this site that often. And even when I pay a small visit, I do not always have time to post a response.

The article cited in the OP is the kind of article that make me scratch my head over: I am the alien, or are the people cited by the article the aliens.

The three most destructive words’ are ‘be a man’

Well, I never heard these words spoken in a serious way. Whenever I heard them, be it in movies or by friends telling a story or a joke, it was meant to identify some character as a jerk. Later in the joke or the story, that character was usually ridiculed. In my past experience ‘be a man’ has been synonymous of 'be stupid'.
So destructive, yes. But not in the way the article explains it.

Being emotional is manly in my opinion

Well, depends. There is a difference between how (statistically a lot of) men express emotion and women do. While crying is more common amongst women, violence is ore common amongst men as a way to express anger and frustration (emotions). Asking men to be emotional is asking them to give up to violence. So, yes, Being emotional (meaning solve your problem through violence) is manly. But it is the 'stupid' side of the 'manly' way.

The size of G.I. Joe’s biceps and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s guns in the Terminator movies is proof that the dominant form of masculinity is out of control

And that is what happen when media favours emotion over reason.

Katz founded a consulting firm that “provides gender violence prevention and leadership training to institutions in the public and private sectors” and has pioneered the use of bystander training in the U.S. military, according to his website.

I hope he trains people to be less emotional and more thoughtful, to resort to reason instead of emotions.

Pop culture also has an insidious effect on masculinity, Katz continued, imploring the audience not to “check your brain and moral conscience when you go to the movies.”
[...]As evidence, Katz noted that G.I. Joe’s biceps have gotten larger over the years and that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone use bigger guns for their iconic roles as the Terminator and Rambo than did Humphrey Bogart in his 1930s and 1940s film roles.

Well movies are 100% emotion. If your lifestyle is based on movies, no wonder you think that going emotional (kill those you don't like) is ok.

The three most destructive words’ are ‘be a man’

I never received these words when I was a boy. Those I constantly got where 'You can cry' or 'You can tell me how you feel'. I got them so much that at some point I thought I was not allowed to express my feelings, but hugely pressured to. No way to get out with 'Ok, but I don't want to'. This would trigger more pressure to 'express the feelings'.
And when finally I surrendered and 'expressed my feeling', then came the punishment "You're a whiner" or the denial "You are wrong".
First, the reason I do not express my feeling is precisely because usually 'it is not a big deal', or I am fully aware my feelings are irrational and I do not want to pressure others with my own problems. So when after hours of pressure (to be less manly?) to express those feelings, I finally comply. Hearing then that *I* am the one who whines is irritating to say the least. Expressing my feelings as you asked, against my will, makes me a whiner...
Second, I never understood the "you are wrong" remark when expressing the feelings. Do people deny that I have those feelings? Do they mean I am a liar or that I am so childish that I cannot identify properly how I feel.
"I am sad"
"No you are not, you are wrong, believe me."
And you ask me why I do not want to express my feelings? Certainly not because of the fear of not being a man.
It is not 'be a man' that is destructive, it is 'tell me how you feel, so I can call you a whiner a liar, or a child'

Whether it’s homicidal violence or suicidal violence, people resort to such desperate behavior only when they are feeling shamed and humiliated, or feel that they would be if they didn’t prove they were real men

1. homicidal violence or suicidal violence are EMOTIONAL RESPONSES! E-MO-TION!!!
2. The guy says it all, the violence is the male way of expressing helplessness. When feeling powerless, typical male response is to turn to violence typical female response is to burst into tears.

Social Imagery and Public Policy,” blamed the hypermasculinized sporting culture in the U.S. for the intense pressure he faced.

I blame the hyperemotional media culture, not the hypermasculinity.

Being a woman is more predictable than being a man because men constantly have to be ready to “prove it,” Whiting said.

Being an emotional woman is not as risky for society as being an emotional man. The percentage of emotional women going to injure or kill someone is far less than an emotional man.
No wonder here on why society has never seen being emotional as undesirable for women. I can fully understand why (traditional) society has tried to teach men to be in control of their emotions. Modern media culture think emotions should be let lose.

Reynolds added that he sees unhealthy masculinity in some form daily, but he didn’t elaborate on what that entails.

"Unhealthy masculinity" is a scape goat expression. Masculitnity is what it is. For 40+ years I was ashamed of being a man because of this kind of speech. Masculinity is not better nor worst than femininity. Both have pros and cons. We need to be aware of them. Be happy of the pros and work against cons. As men, we need to identify positive emotions and negative emotions. More than women, we need to keep anger and frustration at bay or find ways to channel them, because the consequences of letting them lose are greater for society.
Traditional societies have teach boys to control their emotions more than girls because of the potential consequences of letting those emotions lose. Today, instead of promoting reason, modern society (pop culture, social media) promotes emotions. And those idiots blame masculinity?
'Be a man' or 'man up' are positive expression for me. I understand them as 'grow up', 'Don't let anger, frustration, vengeance, violence dominate you' or 'Use your brain, not your guts'. I have the same expression for women: 'be a woman', 'woman up', as opposed to 'stay a girl'.

Bill Savage, IFC vice president of recruitment, said he hates the term “man up” or a phrase he claims is closely related, “don’t be a *****.”

I hate the term "unhealthy masculinities", I hate the term "Tell me how you feel".

In contrast to stereotypes, “being emotional is manly in my opinion,” Savage said.

Yes, we see exactly that in those Rambo and Schwartzy movies...". These characters are as emotional as can be.

Rory Dicker, the director of the Women’s Center, told The College Fix by email that it hosted the week to “further the conversations” in response to Katz’s “provocative ideas” about masculinity.

40+ years that these ideas ('Be emotional') are 'provocative'.
I am tired of those people with 50+ year old ideas who think they are revolutionary.

[Kidlicious]

Yea. Good response. There's a difference between manipulating boys to get them to join a gang, and typical masculinity. They don't make that distinction because they don't like men, IMO. It's hate speech. Too bad to because some of them are well intended. Thanks for the response Dry. Good to see you again.