Doritos is turning kids gay

[Kidlicious]

You're being a rude ******* because someone doesn't think "speculation" is the best word to describe something? Really????

Whenever you start off "I think probably" You're speculating. Stop with the manufactured outrage.

[Elok]

I think we might be missing the point here. Open up a bag of Big Gay Doritos. They all look so nice and bright and colorful. But then you take a bite, and YUCK! it tastes like rancid chemical waste. So you try a different color, and YUCK! it tastes like a slightly different type of rancid chemical waste. Desperately, you go through every color in the bag, but they're all basically the same. The lesson is clear: while superficially we may appear radically different, underneath we're all equally horrible and disgusting. So no, Doritos isn't teaching our children to be gay; it's teaching them to be misanthropes. Which is actually much worse.

[rah]

I doubt that will win their million dollar ad contest.

[Elok]

They already announced the winner. It's just a guy in red riding a drab subway car crowded with faceless grey-suited figures. "Shadowplay" can be heard softly in the background. The red figure slowly pulls a bag of Doritos out of his pocket, opens it, eats one, and collapses. The grey figures take no notice, and the screen fades to black. White words fade in: "Doritos: our unhealthy ingredients speed you into the comforting embrace of Death."

(the runner-up was similar, but used Pink Floyd's "Hey You" and featured a boy and girl eating Doritos simultaneously in a silent suicide pact. It lost for being heteronormative and undermining the key message of utter isolation which can only be relieved by eating a fatty snack chip)

[rah]

Well done.

[Elok]

No it wasn't; they didn't even consider the best one: Dead silence except for the sounds of running water and sobbing. Fade into an emaciated girl curled up at the bottom of a running shower. The colors are washed out. She reaches out through the curtain to an open bag sitting on the toilet tank, pulls out a chip and bites it with an exaggerated crunch. Then uses the sharp edge made by her teeth to savagely cut herself. With every cut we see a flash of dark moments from her past, and hear a burst of beautiful song from a choir. When she has cut a dozen times, she goes limp, and the camera zooms in on the blood flowing down the drain. Large words rapidly flicker across the screen, one at a time: TO LIVE IS TO SUFFER. TO SUFFER IS TO LIVE. DORITOS.

GTG, got a really wicked jones for tortilla chips all of a sudden.

[giblets]

Buy a bag of gay doritos and give it to someone who seems closeted

[My Hubby Loves Civ]

Boys do play with dolls if they are available. Same with girls with tanks and army soldiers. They are just using their imaginations in play with whatever toy would be available for entertainment. They have no clue that anyone thinks there should be separation until society or puberty changes their idealism.

[Kidlicious]

Oh I agree they play with dolls if they can get a hold of them. I'm just saying the dolls might not have heads when they're done playing with them.

[giblets]

My older sister beheaded her barbies

[Kidlicious]

My older sister beheaded her barbies

Kewl

[DaShi]

Boys don't play with dolls. They play with ACTION FIGURES.

Extremely homo-erotic action figures.

[My Hubby Loves Civ]

My older sister beheaded her barbies

My daughters ripped off the heads, arms and legs and now my grandsons do the same. I am still here putting them back together so they can do it all over again! Obviously, imagination land is amazingly horrible whether you are a boy or girl! South parks episodes of 'Imagination land' comes to mind.

[Kidlicious]

Extremely homo-erotic action figures.

Admitting that you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

[Uncle Sparky]

I note that most foods are to be taken orally, encouraging children to lick, suck and nibble. Disgusting.
And God is like a banana...