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The big excuse.

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  • #1

    The big excuse.

    I've been a manager for over 30 years and have had thousands of employees. They've ranged from call center phone staff, brilliant developers, all the way to upper level managers. Sometime you think you've heard them all but then you hear one that just makes you look up and go HUH.

    One of my favorites was a few years ago when a call center rep was late and I asked her why.

    "Well I was in a bar with my boyfriend late last night and he got into a fight" (yes all good employees stay out late in bars on a work night)
    "after a few minutes he noticed that his finger had been bitten off" (yes, it took a few minutes)
    "we searched around for his finger" (you never know what you'll find on a barroom floor)
    "when we found it I rushed him to the hospital where they reattached it"
    "I just finished dropping him off at home and rushed straight to work"

    Now the dilemma. Do you struggle to keep a straight face and give a sympathetic response or do you break out laughing while trying to say "you've got to be ****ting me"
    I did have to give her points for originality but did the latter.

    Share the best excuse you've ever heard. It need not be work related it could be about anything, like why someone can't help you move, or why your girlfriend couldn't make a date. Whatever.
    It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
    RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O
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  • #2
    Did she have a doctor's note?

    I mean, if she could prove that it happened, you almost have to let that slide, right? Just for the sheer WTF-ness of it.
    “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
    - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

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    • #3
      To be fair. This same person, a month before, came in late and her excuse was that her grandmother got hit by a car the night before and her parents were staying at one of those intimate resorts that don't have phones so he had to stop by in the morning to let them know.

      And those were only two from a list of all-star excuses. But the finger one was always my favorite.
      It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
      RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

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      • #4
        I had one new recruit who, at 2.00PM on his very first day, asked if he could take the rest of the day off because he was "a bit tired".

        Just a couple of years ago, I had a co-worker on a project who went off work for three weeks suffering from "stress". She came back to work with much bigger tits.
        The genesis of the "evil Finn" concept- Evil, evil Finland

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        • #5
          Every small chested women in the US is now searching for stress relieve.
          It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
          RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Bugs ****ing Bunny View Post
            Just a couple of years ago, I had a co-worker on a project who went off work for three weeks suffering from "stress". She came back to work with much bigger tits.
            Did that end in some kind of raise ?
            With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

            Steven Weinberg

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            • #7
              The worst part was that everyone knew she was lying, but was afraid of saying anything.

              I really wanted to follow her to the coffee machine and yell "OH MY GOD IT MADE YOUR ARSE BIGGER TOO!!".
              The genesis of the "evil Finn" concept- Evil, evil Finland

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              • #8
                When I first started working you could have easily gotten away with a comment like that.
                I'd like to say I miss those days, but it's really for the best that it's not like that anymore.
                It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
                RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

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                • #9
                  I agree.

                  I have seen the error of my ways and found homosexuality.

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                  • #10
                    I had a co-worker who was fired for falsifying her timecard. Her excuse is that nobody ever told her that she wasn't allowed to falsify her timecard.
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                    • #11
                      I would say that I was never told to steal money from the company, but alas, it was part of orientation.
                      It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
                      RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

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                      • #12
                        When I worked for the DOD I was told not to sell secrets to the Chinese, so there went that excuse
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                        • #13
                          What about selling to the Iranians, was that allowed ?
                          With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

                          Steven Weinberg

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                          • #14
                            Probably, I worked on computer security and I'm not sure if Iran has any computers
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                            • #15
                              Then I guess that you didn't work in the "spinning thingy sabotage" group.
                              With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

                              Steven Weinberg

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