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  • The story of Dick Oranges:

    NAPLES, Florida - A Collier County man is accused of biting and swinging a knife at a loss prevention officer who confronted him after some clothing was stolen from a Bealls Department Store earlier this month.

    Dick Oranges, 49, faces five criminal charges in connection with the June 4 incident.

    A loss prevention officer at the store, 2368 Pine Ridge Road, told Collier County sheriff’s deputies he and the store’s manager confronted Oranges after seeing him go into a dressing room and emerge without any of the clothing, which was also not found inside the dressing room.

    Outside the store, Oranges resisted their attempts to escort him inside, pushing the manager away and biting the officer’s arms, causing the skin to break, according to an arrest report. The two employees said Oranges then pulled out a knife and started swinging it at the officer.

    They backed away. He fled in a gold convertible.

    In an unrelated incident Thursday, two weeks later, Oranges was stopped by Florida Highway Patrol troopers, who said he was driving 55 mph in a 35 mph construction zone. Oranges apologized and asked them to “give him a second chance,” according to reports. After smelling marijuana in the car, troopers said they found a pouch labeled “Dime Bag” that contained a grinder and rolling papers.

    Oranges was arrested to face charges of drug paraphernalia possession and driving with an expired license. While in jail, a detective came to interview him about the incident at Bealls. Oranges said he was trying to return the merchandise, not steal it, and told the detective it was the loss prevention officer who wielded the knife.

    As of Friday, Oranges remained in custody at the Naples Jail Center.
    #floridaman

    To us, it is the BEAST.

  • #2
    You usually shouldn't put your dick in an orange... that **** is acidic.
    “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
    - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui View Post
      You usually shouldn't put your dick in an orange... that **** is acidic.
      so

      one time

      I made DIY lube using xanthan gum, water, and some glycerin

      it works well
      but is perishable

      i researched preservative methods

      i added some citric acid

      worked well

      I got lazy and stopped measuring my mixtures

      one day, too much citric acid



      after an extended session, I seemed to be a bit more... sore... than I would've expected


      I noticed some irritation


      the skin seemed to be... I want to say... halfway between shedding and melting

      but very slowly... i have a very high pain tolerance so it wasn't something i initially noticed



      it was basically like a mild rug burn, cleared up in a few days

      BUT DAMN I MELTED MY DICK WITH ACID
      To us, it is the BEAST.

      Comment


      • #4
        “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
        - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

        Comment


        • #5
          +
          "Ceterum censeo Ben esse expellendum."

          Comment


          • #6
            "Aha, you must have supported the Iraq war and wear underpants made out of firearms, just like every other American!" Loinburger

            Comment


            • #7
              <p style="font-size:1024px">HTML is disabled in signatures </p>

              Comment


              • #8
                That picture is pretty much a win.
                Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Fvcking oranges...
                  There's nothing wrong with the dream, my friend, the problem lies with the dreamer.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I'm actually kind of proud that I made a silly joke and it resulted in Sava admitting that he acided his penis.
                    “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
                    - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      you should make comments about other fruit

                      it could knock another memory loose
                      To us, it is the BEAST.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I dunno if I want to hear a memory of MrFun
                        “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
                        - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          that's more derogatory than "white trash", imo
                          To us, it is the BEAST.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            YOU SAID IT
                            “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
                            - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              i'm a monster
                              To us, it is the BEAST.

                              Comment

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