Australia gives Knighthood to Prince Philip - er, ... A Prince Philip appreciation thread

[kentonio]

how much has supporting that man and his welfare queen cost the UK?

Nothing, they bring in far more than any money spent. The money that maintains them was also agreed in exchange for them giving up money from crown lands (IIRC).

[Sava]

Nothing, they bring in far more than any money spent. The money that maintains them was also agreed in exchange for them giving up money from crown lands (IIRC).

Nope. They are a drain on the country.

We've already had this conversation once. And you lost. If you want a repeat, just drop your drawers and spread your cheeks.

[Sava]

besides, they are also at the "top of the pyramid" with regards to the money that royal assets bring in

they are literally the most useless people in the organization... let alone the entire country

and perhaps world

[Hauldren Collider]

You don't understand Sava. The queen with her reserve powers protects England from devolving into a dictato....nope. Can't keep a straight face.

[Sava]

[Sava]

I'm sure the UK would cease to exist as a political entity if they didn't have the queen and prince phillip running all those money-making royal assets.

I mean... sure, the government could hire a qualified executive to run things... for probably not more than a low six-figure salary

BUT THAT'S CRAZY TALK HA

everyone knows hundreds of years of inbreeding leads to awesome business skills and experience

[Alexander's Horse]

The clue to what really happened may be in Prince Philip's titles - he has the senior award from all the Dominions - Canada, NZ - the Palace may have suggested he needed the Australian knighthood to complete the set.

If true, the delicious irony is Abbott has to wear the mockery because, as a good royalist, he can't say anything which may bring the monarchy into political dispute.

Yet another reason to appreciate Prince Philip, good going old boy

[kentonio]

Nope. They are a drain on the country.

We've already had this conversation once. And you lost. If you want a repeat, just drop your drawers and spread your cheeks.

Ah you mean the 'conversation' where I pointed out the huge boosts they provide in tourism, trade influence and various other things and you stuck your fingers in your ears and went 'NAH NAH NAH, MONARCHS ARE BADDDDDDD!!!'? Yes, I remember how compelling a case you made.

[Alexander's Horse]

The USA - a country in search of a monarchy

The royals get fawned over more there than anywhere else.

[Dauphin]

that reminds of a braizlian joke, which goes something like this

god and an angel are talking, as god explains his new creation: brazil.

angel: wow so no earthquakes, no hurricanes, no volcanoes, forests, rivers, a rich and fertile land, this place will be paradise.

and god smiles and says: just wait and see the people i'm going to put there.

I've heard the Canadian and English equivalents. The tagline being ""Wait til you see the southern neighbours I'm giving them".

[Alexander's Horse]

Prince Philip, a life of service - and gaffes

Here is a selection of his most notable quotes as he offers his own unique advice to people all over the world.


1963


Speaking about the rate of British tax, he said: "All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury."


1965


On seeing an exhibition of "primitive" Ethiopian art, he muttered: "It looks like the kind of thing my daughter would bring back from her school art lessons."

1966

The Duke famously proclaimed: "British women can't cook".

1967

When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union: "I would like to go to Russia very much, although the bastards murdered half my family."

1969

The Duke said to Tom Jones after his Royal Variety Performance: "What do you gargle with, pebbles?".

He later added: "It is very difficult at all to see how it is possible to become immensely valuable by singing what I think are the most hideous songs."

On the Royal Family's finances: "We go into the red next year. I shall probably have to give up polo."

1976

On a tour of Canada: "We don't come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves."

1981

During the recession he mused: “Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed."

1984

When accepting a figurine from a woman during a visit to Kenya he asked: "You are a woman aren't you?"

1986

He told a World Wildlife Fund meeting that "if it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and flies but is not an aeroplane and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it."

Prince Philip's opinion of Beijing, during a tour of China in 1986, was simply: "Ghastly."

1993

To a British tourist in Hungary in he quipped: "You can't have been here that long — you haven't got a pot belly."

To survivors of the Lockerbie bombing he told them: "People usually say that after a fire it is water damage that is the worst. We are still drying out Windsor Castle."

1994

"Aren't most of you descended from pirates?", he asked an islander in the Cayman Islands.

To a Caribbean rabbit breeder in Anguilla, he said: "Don't feed your rabbits pawpaw fruit — it acts as a contraceptive. Then again, it might not work on rabbits."

1995

He asked a Scottish driving instructor in Oban: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?"

1996

Following the Dunblane massacre, he questioned the need for a firearms ban: "If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?"

1998

The Duke asked a British student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea: "You managed not to get eaten then?"

1999

In Cardiff he told children from the British Deaf Association, who were standing by a Caribbean steel band: "If you're near that music it's no wonder you're deaf".

2000

To guests at the opening reception of a new £18million British Embassy in Berlin: "It's a vast waste of space."

At a Buckingham Palace drinks party, he told group of female Labour MPs: "Ah, so this is feminist corner then."

On being offered fine Italian wines by Giuliano Amato, the former Prime Minister, at a dinner in Rome, he is said to have uttered: "Get me a beer. I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer!"

"People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans."

2001

To Elton John: "Oh it's you that owns that ghastly car is it? We often see it when driving to Windsor Castle."

2002

While touring a factory near Edinburgh he said a fuse box was so crude it "looked as though it had been put in by an Indian".

2002

To Australian Aborigines during a visit to Australia with the Queen he asked: "Do you still throw spears at each other?"

To the Aircraft Research Association, he said: "If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate the improvements in aircraft design of less noise and more comfort, provided you don't travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly."

2009 Said to black dance troupe Diversity at the Royal Variety Performance: "Are you all one family?"

To a young fashion designer at Buckingham Palace he told him: "You didn't design your beard too well, did you? You really must try better with your beard."

2010

On asking a female Sea Cadet what she did for a living, and being told that she worked in a nightclub (as a barmaid), the Duke asked “Is it a strip club?” Observing her surprise he dismissed the suggestion saying that it was “probably too cold for that anyway”.

2010

At a prize-giving ceremony for the Duke of Edinburgh Awards a girl told him that she'd been to Romania to help in an orphanage. He replied: "Oh yes, there's a lot of orphanges in Romania - they must breed them".

2011

On approaching his 90th birthday: "Bits are beginning to drop off".

To the managing director of a wind farm company, the prince said wind turbines were "absolutely useless" and "an absolute disgrace".

2012

When meeting a 60-year-old disabled man: "How many people have you knocked over this morning on that thing?" David Miller, a trustee of the Valentine Mansion in Redbridge, said he took no offence.

Others that are undated:

"YOU have mosquitos. I have the Press."
- To the matron of a hospital in the Caribbean.

"If it doesn't fart or eat hay then she isn't interested"
- speaking about his daughter, Princess Anne.

"Can you tell the difference between them?"
- The Duke's question after President Barack Obama said he met with the leaders of the UK, China and Russia.

"The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop the tourism, we could stop the congestion."
- on London traffic.

"Well, you'll never fly in it, you're too fat to be an astronaut."
- to a 13-year-old whilst visiting a space shuttle. The boy cried.

“You look like you’re ready for bed!”
- To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes.

If I had to quietly follow my wife around for 60 years I'd be grumpy too

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Nothing, they bring in far more than any money spent.

A claim rarely backed up with any remotely convincing figures. And I use the word "rarely" where everyone else would use "never".

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

To put it in context, has any tourist, ever, gone "While Egypt's rich historical and cultural trappings are indeed impressive, the fact remains that those pyramids just aren't the same without Pharaohs around any more. Let's go to Denmark instead!"?

[Sava]

Ah you mean the 'conversation' where I pointed out the huge boosts they provide in tourism, trade influence and various other things and you stuck your fingers in your ears and went 'NAH NAH NAH, MONARCHS ARE BADDDDDDD!!!'? Yes, I remember how compelling a case you made.

Yes. Where you pointed out a bunch of things the royal family HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH

That thread. Where you lost this very argument.

[Sava]

To put it in context, has any tourist, ever, gone "While Egypt's rich historical and cultural trappings are indeed impressive, the fact remains that those pyramids just aren't the same without Pharaohs around any more. Let's go to Denmark instead!"?

If I had a thanks left, I'd give it.