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Today is a great day

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  • Today is a great day

    I woke up this morning like any other morning... well rested, slightly sore, and ready to shit.

    I can't help but think my experience today is a metaphor.

    I sat on the toilet and squeezed out a massive log. It was clean. Clean? Yes. The kind of shit that doesn't need a wipe. It was the kind of shit that knows it is a dirty piece of shit. It tried to resist by being an even bigger piece of shit than normal. Its effort was wasted. Its passing became a triumph for witnesses forced to smell its foul stench (the cats were in the bathroom with me).

    I finished up and went downstairs. I fed the cats and got my morning fruit smoothie.

    About 30 minutes after my initial dump, I felt another. Back to the toilet I went.

    This shit wasn't as clean. It resisted. First, it let out a fart... a whimper of sorts... angry it was being shit out... grasping for relevance by being loud and obnoxious.

    This pathetic shit wasn't quite as voluminous. It was all broken up. It lacked cohesion. It was a messier shit than its partner... requiring a slight bit of clean up afterwards.

    As I emerged from the bathroom refreshed, I couldn't help but feel contented at the thought that both those pieces of shit are where they belong... fermenting in the sewer. Dealing with pieces of shit is a daily struggle, unfortunately. There are always going to be little dingleberries. They wash away. If you find yourself worrying about every little piece of shit in the world, you're going to be unhappy.

    It's best to just flush those fuckers and move on.
    To us, it is the BEAST.

  • #2
    Don't taunt your ****, Sava.
    Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
    "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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    • #3
      Ah, the joys of youth.
      It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
      RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

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      • #4
        Is that a metaphor for you expelling your ill will towards Poly and coming back to the fold?
        "Aha, you must have supported the Iraq war and wear underpants made out of firearms, just like every other American!" Loinburger

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Lorizael View Post
          Don't taunt your ****, Sava.
          You're right! It might start to stink even more!

          But that's the limit of the power of shit. That's why it is shit. If it had any power to actually do something in the world, it wouldn't be shit.
          To us, it is the BEAST.

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          • #6
            Sava

            Putting **** in it's place
            Indifference is Bliss

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            • #7
              The world needs heroes.
              To us, it is the BEAST.

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              • #8
                Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

                Tapatalk 2

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                • #9
                  Just wakin up in the mornin gotta thank God
                  I don't know but today seems kinda odd
                  No barkin from the dog, no smog
                  And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog (damn)
                  I got my grub on, but didn't pig out
                  Finally got a call from a girl I wanna dig out
                  (Whassup?) Hooked it up for later as I hit the do'
                  Thinkin will I live, another twenty-fo'
                  I gotta go cause I got me a drop top
                  And if I hit the switch, I can make the ass drop
                  Had to stop, at a red light
                  Lookin in my mirror and not a jacker in sight
                  And everything is alright
                  I got a beep from Kim, and she can **** all night
                  Called up the homies and I'm askin y'all
                  Which park, are y'all playin basketball?
                  Get me on the court and I'm trouble
                  Last week ****ed around and got a triple double
                  Freakin niggaz everyway like M.J.
                  I can't believe, today was a good day (****!)

                  Drove to the pad and hit the showers
                  Didn't even get no static from the cowards
                  Cause just yesterday them fools tried to blast me
                  Saw the police and they rolled right past me
                  No flexin, didn't even look in a nigga's direction
                  as I ran the intersection
                  Went to $hort Dog's house, they was watchin Yo! MTV Raps
                  What's the haps on the craps?
                  Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
                  Roll 'em in a circle of niggaz and watch me break 'em
                  with the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
                  Seven even back do' Lil' Joe
                  I picked up the cash flow
                  Then we played bones, and I'm yellin domino
                  Plus nobody I know got killed in South Central L.A.
                  Today was a good day (****!)

                  Left my nigga's house paid (what)
                  Picked up a girl been tryin to **** since the 12th grade
                  It's ironic, I had the brew she had the chronic
                  The Lakers beat the Supersonics
                  I felt on the big fat fanny
                  Pulled out the jammy, and killed the punanny
                  And my dick runs deep, so deep
                  So deep put her ass to sleep
                  Woke her up around one
                  She didn't hesitate, to call Ice Cube the top gun
                  Drove her to the pad and I'm coastin
                  Took another sip of the potion hit the three-wheel motion
                  I was glad everything had worked out
                  Dropped her ass off and then chirped out
                  Today was like one of those fly dreams
                  Didn't even see a berry flashin those high beams
                  No helicopter looking for a murder
                  Two in the mornin got the Fatburger
                  Even saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp
                  And it read, "Ice Cube's a pimp" (yeah)
                  Drunk as hell but no throwin up
                  Half way home and my pager still blowin up
                  Today I didn't even have to use my A.K.
                  I got to say it was a good day (****!)

                  Hey wait, wait a minute Pooh, stop this ****
                  What the **** I'm thinkin about?
                  "It was a Good Day" - Ice Cube
                  “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
                  - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Sava View Post
                    I can't help but think my experience today is a metaphor.

                    It's best to just flush those fuckers and move on.
                    How prescient!

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