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There's Something Absolutely Wrong with what we do to Boys...

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  • There's Something Absolutely Wrong with what we do to Boys...

    "Be a man" is something we've all heard at one time or another, even a few of the women reading this right now. Being a "man" in that sense means something completely different to me (and maybe you, too) than what that phrase implies. I can't even begin to describe the toll that the concept of masculinity has taken on my life. And it's felt everywhere. It's time we make changes, starting from within ourselves.





    Masculinity is not a modern cultural construct nor an American one, no matter what the video says ("We've constructed an idea of masculinity in the United States..."). The very aspects of masculinity that the video decries are pervasive in every human culture known present and past. The Spanish call it machismo. The Romans equated 'Romanitas' or Roman-ness with manhood and the word virtue, which we borrow from the Latin virtus, has a cognate in the Latin vir, or man. In the Bible, a dying King David instructs his son Solomon to, "be thou strong therefore, and shew thyself a man" (1 Kings 2:2 KJV). Every human society has developed an idea of manhood equated with strength, competitiveness, courage, risk-taking, mental and physical toughness, and sacrifice for the benefit of the weak.

    The universality of masculine attributes exists because it is not a cultural construct, but a biological identity. A boy in the video astutely makes the observation that masculinity is instinctive. Men have been selectively bred, through half a million years of evolution, to demonstrate these traits as part of our sexual dimorphism; it is our peacock’s tail. Our cultural artefacts that we associate with masculinity have their root and their sustainment in our biological dispositions. They were not created out of thin air by some malevolent entity to impose male hegemony but are, to borrow Richard Dawkins’ terminology, an extended phenotype to our genetics.
    Now, that is not to say that there are not negative aspects of masculinity nor that masculinity evolved on the savanna with its half a million years of cultural accessories fits perfectly in our 21st century world. In fact, I would contend that many of the problems the video associates with masculinity are actually issues with the imposition of modern restraints on manhood and the weakening of male image.

    Men are competitive. Every man sees a rival in his brother men. Societies have traditionally fostered this sense of competition through war, sport, and economics. Male self-value is linked tightly with social standing. Men desire to be leaders of men, to be perceived as stronger mentally, physically, and emotionally than other men, and to have more. A man who is stronger will be the leader of the pack, will have the best wife, etc. A man’s worth is determined by his victories, whether in sports wins, his heroism, money earned, his house and car, his wife, etc.

    But this competitive desire to be an alpha male is incongruous with the forced egalitarianism of modern Western society. Not only are all men equal but all women are equal to men, as well. Not only is this contrary to our biological impulses but it is contrary to hundreds of millennia of cultural ideas of manhood. We need to be an alpha male; we compete to achieve some semblance of a tribal leader. We desire not only self-empowerment but power over others but society castrates men with equality, leaving this desire unfulfilled. That powerlessness, that nagging disillusionment, produces many of the supposed excesses of manhood. It frustrates us and makes us lash against the world and influences the high criminality and suicide rates among males.

    Now, obviously, that is not to say that human equality is not a laudable goal, but we need to be aware of the negative effects it has on the male psyche. The video seems to recognize that modern society is incongruous with traditional ideas of manhood and, dismissing masculinity as a mere cultural construct, implies that we need to redefine manhood.
    I contend doing so would only increase the excesses of masculinity in an unmasculine world. Our biology has adapted one way and faced with conflict between nature and society, we attempt to further undermine nature and wonder why things get worse? Why are all these problems manifesting themselves now, in an ever-more equal society, as patriarchy is in its decline? It should not be a surprise that male frustration will follow the discrediting of traditional masculine values and the condemnation of demonstrated male attributes.

    Rather than redefine masculinity, a Sisyphean task given its intense biological roots, we need an outlet. We need to recognize how modern society, influenced by egalitarianism and feminism, disempowers men and how excesses like criminality, violence, depression, and suicide, are biological reactions to this cultural castration. We need to empower men with an outlet to express their competitive desires. I do not know what method would satisfy this instinct but before we explore solutions, we must make sure we are tackling the problem the right way and finding the actual causes. It is my contention that the video and modern gender studies approach masculinity the wrong way. Once we are on the same page, we can discover solutions.

    Rather than redefine what it means to be men, we need an outlet to prove ourselves as men.
    "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
    "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

  • #2
    Is this an essay for a class? Do you want us to proofread it for you? My teachers always said to start with your thesis and try to emphasize it in every paragraph. They preferred the deductive approach to the inductive approach. I dunno though, I think you can do it either way.
    If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
    ){ :|:& };:

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Hauldren Collider View Post
      Is this an essay for a class? Do you want us to proofread it for you? My teachers always said to start with your thesis and try to emphasize it in every paragraph. They preferred the deductive approach to the inductive approach. I dunno though, I think you can do it either way.
      Class? I'm not in college.

      I thought this was a forum where we debate ****
      "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
      "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

      Comment


      • #4
        Oh, my mistake. I read your post and when I saw the vaguely preachy, slightly melodramatic 6-paragraph essay I just assumed it was for school. You know, if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, etc.
        If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
        ){ :|:& };:

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Hauldren Collider View Post
          Oh, my mistake. I read your post and when I saw the vaguely preachy, slightly melodramatic 6-paragraph essay I just assumed it was for school. You know, if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, etc.
          It's for facebook actually but I reposted it here
          "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
          "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

          Comment


          • #6
            Who gives a ****?

            Seriously, who gives a ****? Just live your ****ing life. I don't get this hand-wringing over masculinity at all.
            "My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
            "The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud

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            • #7
              Lengthy manifestos are really not the kind of thing most people log onto FB for. I use it to share pictures of my kid, see pictures of others' kids, and keep in touch with old acquaintances. Others use it to play asinine minigames. Still others use it to express their political/social/religious opinions, but generally only in snarky gif form, because they know full well that the rest of us will just scroll past anything longer.

              Didn't watch the video (bandwidth), skimmed essay. Our society is not lacking in outlets for competitive drive. The workplace, sex, sports, what-have-you. If that fails, you can throw away several promising potential careers to join the reserve branch of the most redundant section of our needlessly and unaffordably huge armed forces. The rest of us will just have to get by with video games and the NFL.

              XPost; also, I feel I should mention that Firefox Flashblock is awesome. I didn't even see a still frame of that video!
              1011 1100
              Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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              • #8
                People who post long winded political essays on facebook should be arrested or something.

                I generally use it for the same things Elok does but also to creep on chicks from high school around Halloween.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Guynemer View Post
                  Who gives a ****?

                  Seriously, who gives a ****? Just live your ****ing life. I don't get this hand-wringing over masculinity at all.
                  Such hand-wringing is the domain of those who are frightfully insecure in their own, true.
                  Tutto nel mondo è burla

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                  • #10
                    This video was obviously created by failed men trying to move goal posts to explain away they are not failures

                    Lucky their weak genes will probably only be deposited into socks.
                    "The DPRK is still in a state of war with the U.S. It's called a black out." - Che explaining why orbital nightime pictures of NK show few lights. Seriously.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Guynemer View Post
                      Who gives a ****?

                      Seriously, who gives a ****? Just live your ****ing life. I don't get this hand-wringing over masculinity at all.

                      Many of the boys you treat are going to give a **** as they grow up.

                      There is something ****ed up when girls and women are free from the Victorian straight-jacket of how they are supposed to behave, but men are still very much bound.
                      (\__/)
                      (='.'=)
                      (")_(") This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your signature to help him gain world domination.

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                      • #12
                        Interesting. You've put a lot of thought into this.

                        It's true that men tend to be born "masculine." We have physical traits that differentiate us from females. That can be good and bad. Good because it helps us create and bad because it makes us destroy often times ourselves because we only know how to act one way. We are taught to be men from the time we are small by guess? To some extent dad but mostly by mom. Mommy manipulated you to make you a sefvant to women. It doesn't matter if you are alpha or beta, you still serve women until you decide not to. That's what you are doing in the military, serving women. Sure there are some women in the military but I think you know what I mean.
                        I drank beer. I like beer. I still like beer. ... Do you like beer Senator?
                        - Justice Brett Kavanaugh

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by notyoueither View Post
                          Many of the boys you treat are going to give a **** as they grow up.

                          There is something ****ed up when girls and women are free from the Victorian straight-jacket of how they are supposed to behave, but men are still very much bound.
                          Not sure if serious.
                          "My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
                          "The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Guynemer View Post
                            Not sure if serious.

                            Why not? Have you never seen boys scolded for showing emotions? Never seen or heard of a young man being stuffed in a locker at school because he was too effeminate?

                            We do some pretty ****ed up things to boys and young men. Combine that with the loss of status and security of a place in society and you'll end up with some young men being significantly more ****ed up than they would have been in years gone by.
                            (\__/)
                            (='.'=)
                            (")_(") This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your signature to help him gain world domination.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by notyoueither View Post
                              Why not? Have you never seen boys scolded for showing emotions? Never seen or heard of a young man being stuffed in a locker at school because he was too effeminate?
                              No, not really, not outside of cliched entertainment.

                              We don't do anything more ****ed up to boys than we do to girls, and we do significantly less ****ed up things than we used to. All this whining about masculinity and men's place and men's rights... it's just insecurity. Grow a ****ing pair, and live your ****ing life. This **** isn't hard.
                              "My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
                              "The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud

                              Comment

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