For instance, did you know that in World War 2 on the Eastern Front, there were BOOTY CALLS OH I MEAN "ANTI ALIASED SNOWSTORMS" every 5 or 6 minutes that required all the infantry to frantically run to the nearest GLORY HOLE OH I MEAN "FIREPLACE" within 30 seconds, then stay there for 1 minute TO JERK THEMSELVES OFF OH I MEAN WARM UP before they could go back out and REINSERT THEIR PENISES INTO EACH OTHER'S ANUSES OH PLEASE DISREGARD I MEAN FIGHT? It is a little known fact that the Nazis made short work of the Russians and their pent-up splooge at Stalingrad because of the poor glory hole micromanagement of Stalin himself IN REALITY COMPANY OF HEROES 1 IS FAR BETTER BALANCED, HAS AMERICANS FACTION AND NO RIDICULOUS JERK OFF SNOW MECHANIC. COH 1 IS AN BONA PHIDE RTS CLASSIC COH 2 is irrelevant garbage apparently slapped together with the last $2.00 in THQ'S BANK ACCOUNT IN A DESPERATE (UNSUCCCESSFUL) ATTEMPT TO STAVE OFF BANKRUPTCY. AND IT COMES WITH microtransactions TO GO WITH THE FIREPLACE COME DUMPSTERS. THQ, YOU ARE A DEAD COMPANY, YOU CAN KEEP YOUR FIRE PLACE COME DUMPSTERS YOU PIECES OF **** . **** YOU THQ COH 1 > COH 2
I think it is the best game menu music to have sex with a woman to (THE PREVIOUS GAME TO HAVE THIS HONOR IS THE LITTLE-KNOWN PLAYSTATION GAME "50 CENT: BLOOD ON THE SAND", IN WHICH THE EPONYMOUS 50 CENT HUNTS DOWN AND MURDERS EVERYONE IN AN ARAB COUNTRY BECAUSE A MUSLIM PROMOTER STIFFED HIM ON HIS CONCERT ROYALTIES. I HAD SEX TO THAT GAME'S MENU SCREEN AT LEAST 7 TIMES) . I would honestly say the Rome 2 menu music should have been in the actual game, but there are other things that should have also been put into the game first, like battle/diplomatic AI. ONE THING I ENJOY ABOUT THIS GAME IS THAT IT DELETED THE 'FAMILY TREE' SCREEN FROM ROME TOTAL WAR, MUCH TO THE DISMAY OF FEMALE HOUSEWIFE ROME TOTAL WAR 1 FANS The reason this is a good change is that THE FAMILY TREE SCREEN WAS POINTLESS BECAUSE EVERYONE IN MY EMPIRE WAS INCESTUOUS AND RETARDED, SO WHAT IS THE USE OF THE FAMILY TREE? I AM NOT A DETECTIVE MAKING $52,000 A YEAR, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHICH RELATIONSHIPS AMONG MY ROMAN NPCS WOULD BE ILLEGAL IN MODERN-DAY FLORIDA, I JUST NEED INFORMATION RELEVANT TO GAMEPLAY, THANKS. I am convinced that the developers are foreign and thought the word "Politics" meant "Assasination" and no one in localization had the heart to correct this misconception. Strangely, when these assassination missions occur, they are undertaken by the most inept and high-priced assassin available in the universe, because he manages to succeed approximately 1% of the time while charging roughly 25% of your annual GDP per mission, BUT WIGLAF DOESN'T THAT ASSASSIN HAVE THE MARKET CORNERED? /BOLD/NO/BOLD, YOU CAN JUST USE YOUR ARMY TO KILL THE FACTION LEADERS, AND THEY DOES IT FOR FREE. PLEASE NOTE THAT RATHER THAN TRYING TO FIX ANY OF THIS ****, THEY JUST RELEASED A "BLOOD AND GORE' DLC PACK FOR $3:* Not since the noted child molester Ed Beach at Firaxis Games released the Gods and Kings expansion has a respected game series masturbated so furiously in my face. Shogun 2 is at least respectable.
I'm having a lot of fun with the multiplayer. Ordinarily while playing games I have two monitors, one displaying the game and the other displaying real-time classified information about the location of American military assets in the Middle East. But with Battlefield 4, if you have dual monitors, you can have an OVERHEAD MINI MAP OF YOUR GAME SESSION ON ONE, AND THE FIRST-PERSON GAMEPLAY ON THE OTHER It is far more interesting than what I would be looking at otherwise on that second monitor (mainly coordinates for drone strikes that no one cares about except Code Pink and **** feminists).
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