Mother of gun toting embryo that is gay and wants to get married is jailed

[SlowwHand]

A pregnant mother of an 8 month old embryo in Hobart Tasmania has been taken into custody after sonograms revealed a handgun that was attempted to conceal in a fetus position, while displaying a limp wrist. Technicians notified the attending physician, who in turn called local authorities.. Investigation is ongoing.

http://www.themercury.com.au/

I don't know what to make of this report. I've never heard of such a thing and find it hard to imagine.

[Sava]

well done sir

I regret I have but one thanks to give

[SlowwHand]

I want to know what AH has to tell us. He's closer and has likely heard more.

[Sava]

See. Why can't you be like this all the time? Don't be so sensitive Slowwy. You are an awesome poster when you aren't PMSing about even obvious and terrible trolls.

[SlowwHand]

I feel an obligation to perpetuate the stereotype.

[Sava]

I so feel like making out with you right now.

[SlowwHand]

[Alexander's Horse]

one word Sloww: Tasmania

That's Deliverance country down thahhhhhh.....

[Alexander's Horse]

Letter from Tasmanian mum to Tasmanian son

Dear Son,

I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20kms from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Tasmanian family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother...

Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a ute. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love, Mum

P.S. I was going to send you some money but I had already sealed the envelope.

[Alexander's Horse]

Taswegian jokes

Mae passed away in Hobart and Leonard called 000. The 000 operator told
Leonard that she would send someone right away and asked where he
lived.

Leonard replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

After a long pause, Leonard said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak
Street and you pick her up there?"

********************

Did you hear about the Tasmanian redneck who passed away and left his
entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? The only catch is that
she can't touch it till she's 14.

********************

A Tassie policeman pulls over a pickup truck and says to the driver, "Got
any ID?"

The driver says, " 'Bout what?"

********************

Two Tasmanians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a
sack.When they meet, one says, "Hey Marvin, watcha got in th' bag?"

"Jes' some lambs."

"If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"

"Hey, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em."

"OK. Ummmmmmmm .... five?"

********************

A Tasmanian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door, phoned the fire brigade & shouted, "Hurry over here - muh house is on fahr."

"OK" replied the fireman, "How do we get there?"

"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"

********************

Why do folks in Tasmania go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more?

Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.

********************

Billy and Lester, two Tassies, were talking one afternoon when Billy
tells Lester, "Ah know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation. Only this
year, I'm gonna do it a little different.

The last few years, I took your suggestions as to where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Sue got pregnant. Two years ago you said go to Fiji and Sue got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Sue didn't get pregnant again".

"So" Lester asks Billy, "what you gonna do different?"

Billy says, "This year I'm taking Sue with me."

********************

Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tasmania to 32?

They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

********************

Where was the toothbrush invented?

Tasmania. If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a
teethbrush.

********************

Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tasmanian State Lottery?

The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

********************

Why did most murderers want to move to Tasmania?

Because everyone has the same DNA.

********************

A new law was recently passed in Tassie so that when a couple gets
divorced, they can still be brother and sister.