It's that time again when I need Elok

[Fake Boris]

Hi Elok (or anyone else).

I have to find a job for the next school year and would like you to proofread this cover letter. Make any modification you want; last time, you helped me a lot.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like to express my great interest in teaching philosophy at [school].

I believe firmly in the importance of humanities in the path to responsibility and autonomous thought that lies ahead young men and women. In my two years of teaching, I put a great deal of effort to conceive original courses that draw students closer to the discipline’s fundamentals. The pride I take in sharing them, and my belief in their necessity to serve as a foundation of authentic humanist knowledge, motivate my commitment to teaching.

My pedagogical work combines the thoroughness I acquired by learning and teaching the Latin language, with the lively methods of modern pedagogy. I benefitted greatly from a training about active learning offered by my employer, in the school year 2011-2012. Thanks to these experiences, I asserted myself as a dynamic communicator, employing technology to refine, rather than simplify, the quality of interactions between people.

As someone who has studied and taught abroad, I am eager to help today’s young people deepen their understanding of the world and their place in it. I find the mission of [school], dedicated to bettering the community and valuing cultural diversity, to be in complete accordance with my calling to convey my passion for philosophy, and hope to join your team in the near future.

Sincerely yours,

[snoopy369]

[Preface with 'I'm terrible at cover letters']

"I benefitted greatly from a training about active learning" -> "I benefited [one t] greatly from a training in active learning" or "My style was enhanced through focusing on active learning techniques developed in a training" if you can pull that off.

"today's young people" -> "the leaders/visionaries/something of tomorrow"

"to be in complete accordance with my calling" sounds a bit form-letter to me. " I find the mission of [school], [mission], to fit well with my philosophy, because [x]" is probably better (and adjust the [x] on a per-school basis).

[Elok]

You mean...there's a time when you don't need Elok? :frown:

Be that as it may, here's some quick notes and changes, in bold. I'm afraid I've lost some of my edge in bulshytt, since it's a use-it-or-lose-it skill. Mostly I've fixed little grammar flubs and awkward constructions.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like to express my great interest in teaching philosophy at [school].

I believe firmly in the importance of humanities in the path to responsibility and independent thought that lies ahead for young men and women. In my two years of teaching, I have[optional, but I like the present perfect better here] put a great deal of effort into original courses that drew students closer to the discipline’s fundamentals. The pride I take in sharing these fundamentals, and my belief in their necessity to serve as a foundation of authentic humanist knowledge, motivate my commitment to teaching [Note: this sentence feels awkward to me, but I'm not sure how to reword it].

My methods combine ["pedagogy" is the sort of word you shouldn't use twice in one sentence] a thoroughness learned from years of practice with the Latin language with the lively methods of modern pedagogy. I benefited greatly from active-learning courses offered by my employer in the school year 2011-2012. Thanks to these experiences, I asserted myself as a dynamic communicator, employing technology to refine, rather than simplify, the quality of interactions between people[Ironically, I am unsure what this sentence means. Is there a distinction between "refining" and "simplifying" which I am not aware of? Also, the word "dynamic" gives off a white-collar middle-management buzzword vibe to me].

As someone who has studied and taught abroad, I am eager to help today’s young people deepen their understanding of the world and their place in it. I find the mission of [school], dedicated to bettering the community and valuing cultural diversity, to be in complete accordance with my own passion for philosophy, and hope to join your team in the near future.

Sincerely yours,

Your writing style seems more elaborate than mine (and I tend towards the elaborate, myself--or so my wife tells me). I tried not to strip it down past the point where it could be called yours. If you want to know why I made a change, just ask.

[snoopy369]

The pride I take in sharing these fundamentals and my belief in their necessity to serve as a foundation of authentic humanist knowledge motivate my commitment to teaching.

That might be better just removing the comma splice; it isn't really appropriate there, and makes it sound sort of icky. You also might want to try:

My commitment to teaching is inspired by the pride I take in sharing these fundamentals, and by my belief in their necessity to serve as a foundation of authentic humanist knowledge.

[Colon™]

Write your letter in one huge sentence.

[giblets]

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am greatly interested in teaching Philosophy at [school].

I believe firmly in the importance of the humanities on the path to responsibility and independent thought that lies ahead of young men and women. In my two years of teaching, I have put a great deal of effort into conceiving original courses that drew students closer to my discipline’s fundamentals. The pride I take in sharing the fundamentals of Philosophy and my belief in their necessity as a foundation for authentic humanist knowledge motivate my commitment to teaching.

My teaching combines the thoroughness I have acquired through learning and teaching the Latin language with the lively methods of modern pedagogy. I have benefited greatly from training in active learning offered by my employer in the 2011-2012 school year. Thanks to these and other experiences, I have asserted myself as a dynamic communicator employing technology to refine, rather than simplify, the quality of interactions between people.

As someone who has studied and taught abroad, I am eager to help today’s youth deepen their understanding of the world and their place in it. I find the mission of [school], valuing cultural diversity and dedicated to bettering the community, to be in accordance with my desire to convey my passion for Philosophy. I hope to join your team in the near future.

Sincerely yours,

I like this version better gnagafjkwenfkjrngknwegk

edit: I'm not sure if "philosophy" needs to be capitalized or not.

[loinburger]

Dear Sir or Madam,

I regret to inform you that I am interested in teaching Philosophy.

.

[DaShi]

Not pretentious enough for a philosophy teacher.

[Colon™]

True. He should also refer to his Marxist convictions.

[Fake Boris]

Thanks Snoopy, Elok and Gribbler.

[Ogie Oglethorpe]

edit: I'm not sure if "philosophy" needs to be capitalized or not.

Yes, it should be "Filosofy", note the capitilization.

[Sava]

How about:

Dear Sir (because women should be in the kitchen),

I wish to get paid to infect the minds of children. I will try not to sleep with any of the young supple co-eds. Most of them won't care about the subject. I won't rock the boat or complain. Just give me a paycheck. You won't regret it.

Love,
(your name here)

[Fake Boris]

*I* would hire you.

[snoopy369]

I have to say I'm disappointed Asher hasn't posted yet, but at least some of the others have picked up the slack.

[Fake Boris]

I have to say I'm disappointed Asher hasn't posted yet, but at least some of the others have picked up the slack.

Asher doesn't hate Filosofy anymore. Getting ****ed in the ass repeatedly and frequently opens your mind to the Ancient Greek.