CNN looking to undo Jon Stewart's Greatest Accomplishment

[Sava]

No, I'm a protege. I follow local city assemblymen around and they teach me about politics.

sounds like a sex scandal in the making

Sava's the first person to ever call me an overachiever.

if my powers of clairvoyance were any good, i'd be working for the psychic hotline

does that still exist?

[DaShi]

Are you sure you don't mean 'prodigy'?

You're right.

[Hauldren Collider]

sounds like a sex scandal in the making

if my powers of clairvoyance were any good, i'd be working for the psychic hotline

does that still exist?

I don't know. I just remember a buddy of mine taking his friends cell phone, putting it on speaker, and punching in 1-800-MYPENIS and getting this disturbingly deep voice that said "WELCOME! TO THE MEN'S ROOM!" This was in 2005 or so. I suspect phone sex lines are still around, and hey, there's probably one or two psychics as well.

[Sava]

I don't know. I just remember a buddy of mine taking his friends cell phone, putting it on speaker, and punching in 1-800-MYPENIS and getting this disturbingly deep voice that said "WELCOME! TO THE MEN'S ROOM!" This was in 2005 or so. I suspect phone sex lines are still around, and hey, there's probably one or two psychics as well.

if you want phone sex, just register an account on okcupid
write in complete sentences and use proper grammar
make it kinda long... like 5-10k words
every once in a while, say something like "i love it when a girl swallows my ***"
be patient
in a week or so, a desperate fat chick will message you
treat her like she's a super model
she can live like 100 miles away, it doesn't matter
start texting, do a phone call
when on the phone, after a few long conversations, start with something nice... like "Your picture is so amazing. I just want to kiss your lips."

Keep saying things like this occasionally. You'll get her really horny. Chances are, she doesn't get laid a lot. She probably masturbates often. If she responded to you at all despite the references to *** swallowing, you know she's not threatened by expressions of male sexual desire... and probably craves it.

Eventually, after talking about how much you want to kiss her... feel free to treat it like actual foreplay. Don't be overtly sexual. Don't talk about your penis. Don't be crass in your use of language. She'll get horny and start pleasuring herself. Auditory stimuli is to women what visual stimuli is to men. She'll feel guilty about masturbating and should start saying all sorts of dirty things.

It may seem like a lot of work, but it's free. Plus, it's good practice for an in person interaction. It may not happen the first time. Everyone is different. If you are any good, soon you'll be able to seduce women.

If someone close to you messages you, feel free to meet up and see what happens. On average, I'm sucking on boobs by the 2nd date.

[Dinner]

Did YOU watch it when it was airing?

I watched a few episodes. It was very clear that both of them were complete hacks.

Yes, yes, I did. For some reason my dad loved that show. BTW the show by definition ran on hacks no matter which person they got to sit in the chairs. I believe Pat Buchanan was the longest running member of the show mainly because he was so washed up no one else would hire him.

[Sava]

Pat Buchanan

He's still one of my favorite human beings... ever.

[Berzerker]

Buchanan vs Kinsley

[Imran Siddiqui]

I also tended to enjoy Crossfire. At least it involved a Republican and Democrat talking to each other rather than have only one POV expressed (see Fox News, MSNBC).

[Hauldren Collider]

On most panel shows they have multiple viewpoints. Fox has Juan Williams, and even MSNBC has Joe Scarborough. Who is about as conservative as John Kerry, honestly, but whatever. They try. Kind of.

The problem with Crossfire is that their attempt to have multiple viewpoints is just bad--it's almost scripted because of the way they just regurgitate talking points.

[Sava]

Oh. You are expecting an intelligent discussion on a political show. There's your problem. Try watching PBS.

[Hauldren Collider]

PBS is terrible.

[Berzerker]

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart famously criticized co-hosts Paul Begala and Tucker Carlson of "hurting America" with their partisan bickering.

so... Jon Stewart's opinion = america, therefore disagreeing with him is "hurting america"...

sounding like a fascist aint much of an accomplishment

[Tuberski]

so... Jon Stewart's opinion = america, therefore disagreeing with him is "hurting america"...

sounding like a fascist aint much of an accomplishment

So, you think the constant arguing is somehow useful?

ACK!

[Sava]

PBS is terrible.

Agree. But their discussions are intelligent.

[Sava]

so... Jon Stewart's opinion = america

This is a logical leap that BK would be proud of.