Religious hate at the theater!

[Elok]

I am a Wiccan, and I can't believe something like this movie could even come out. I was shocked to read the quote on this website at Rotten Tomatoes where Hansel says, "Some people will say that not all witches are evil. That they're powers could be used for good. I say BURN THEM ALL!" Just insert the name of your religion in place of "witches", and you'll understand what I am saying. There's enough religious hatred in this country, we don't need more of it. If you have any doubts about seeing this movie, just see something else instead, please.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/hansel_and_gretel_witch_hunters//forum/?threadid=328147611

How terrible!

[loinburger]

For some bizarre reason I've chosen to self-identify with bridge trolls. Please, people, don't see the Three Billy Goats Gruff movie!

[Elok]

There is no Billy Goats Gruff movie--yet. That I know of. Apparently Jack the Giant Killer is coming out later this year, along with another 300 movie, another Sin City, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine yet again, Stephanie Meyer's latest POS (at least it stars Saoirse Ronan, so it'll be well-acted crap), and Keanu ****ing Reeves in 47 Ronin for some horrendous reason. Looming on the horizon, I hear Hollywood's next stupid trend will be Biblical epics, such as Russell Crowe as Noah. I'm sure that would be hysterically funny if I didn't belong to an Abrahamic faith.

On the plus side: Ender's Game.

[loinburger]

Hollywood needs to reboot the Basket Case series

[Elok]

They'll get around to that eventually, Loin. Originality is too risky for a modern blockbuster budget.

[loinburger]

That's why I pretty much just watch low budget horror movies at this point

[Guynemer]

Looming on the horizon, I hear Hollywood's next stupid trend will be Biblical epics, such as Russell Crowe as Noah. I'm sure that would be hysterically funny if I didn't belong to an Abrahamic faith.

Eh.

Now Russell Brand as Noah? Now you've got me laughing.

[Uncle Sparky]

Eh.

Now Russell Brand as Noah? Now you've got me laughing.

Don't worry about finding a billy goat... (satyr)

[Elok]

Eh.

Now Russell Brand as Noah? Now you've got me laughing.

I was thinking more the general hilarity of Hollywood thinking it understood traditional religiosity. It's like a mole thinking it'd make a great skydiver. The idea of muscle-man Crowe as a six-hundred-year-old patriarch is just a symptom of their larger cluelessness.

[Docfeelgood]

A re-make of Starship Troopers

[Aeson]

I'd think any man who could build an ark large enough to hold two of every kind of animal up on a mountain would have to be pretty buff. Charlton Heston made a kickass Moses ... Crowe is going to be an awesome Noah and I can't wait to see the CGI sea monster battles

[Guynemer]

I was thinking more the general hilarity of Hollywood thinking it understood traditional religiosity. It's like a mole thinking it'd make a great skydiver. The idea of muscle-man Crowe as a six-hundred-year-old patriarch is just a symptom of their larger cluelessness.

No, no, I understood.

I just think you want a drugged-out walking STD as your prophet for maximum offensiveness.

[MichaeltheGreat]

I'd think any man who could build an ark large enough to hold two of every kind of animal up on a mountain would have to be pretty buff. Charlton Heston made a kickass Moses ... Crowe is going to be an awesome Noah and I can't wait to see the CGI sea monster battles

It's the guy on board who had to shovel all the **** on a daily basis that would be buff.

[Uncle Sparky]

No, no, I understood.

I just think you want a drugged-out walking STD as your prophet for maximum offensiveness.

I think Mel Brooks would make a good 600 year old man.

[MichaeltheGreat]

I was thinking more the general hilarity of Hollywood thinking it understood traditional religiosity. It's like a mole thinking it'd make a great skydiver. The idea of muscle-man Crowe as a six-hundred-year-old patriarch is just a symptom of their larger cluelessness.

Not cluelessness (though they are likely that, too). It's all about the ability to raise production money. Investors don't care if you win 10 academy awards if you lose 100 million in the process. Russle Crowe has market power amd big name recognition, so he looks good in a LP pitch, even if he's a mismatch to the role.