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  • #16
    Originally posted by rah View Post
    I will admit that I always take joy whenever any of my nieces or nephews call me Uncle. But not quite the joy as when my daughter calls me dad, or padre.


    My sister just had a baby. I'm excited to hear it for the first time... "Uncle Sava"

    To us, it is the BEAST.

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    • #17
      There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting kids, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

      Hell, you know what I do for a living, and I don't want to have any kids.
      "My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
      "The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud

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      • #18
        I didn't want to have kids.

        I got my daughter and love her more dearly than life itself.

        Things just change. Life before me being a dad was great. Life now is great just as well. What is taken away in freedom you get back as love. Not that one thing is better than the other. It is just different.
        "Ceterum censeo Ben esse expellendum."

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Lorizael View Post
          When we got together four years ago, it was with the understanding that we wouldn't be together forever, because she eventually wanted to have kids.
          Time for you two to split, I guess.
          A lot of Republicans are not racist, but a lot of racists are Republican.

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          • #20
            I've got a fool-proof solution for you. First, develop a bizarre aversion to using sane forms of birth control, and insist that all you need is the rhythm method. Next, every morning you should slip something into your girlfriend's coffee to make her go completely insane. Then, when she insists that she's not ovulating, ignore the calendar you've been using for your primitive form of birth control and take her word for it. Finally, when she gets pregnant, join the French Foreign Legion.

            Welcome to Facebook.
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            • #21
              Originally posted by Guynemer View Post
              There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting kids, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

              Hell, you know what I do for a living, and I don't want to have any kids.
              My wife and I dont want to have kids and its been a great choice.
              "I hope I get to punch you in the face one day" - MRT144, Imran Siddiqui
              'I'm fairly certain that a ban on me punching you in the face is not a "right" worth respecting." - loinburger

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              • #22
                Well, I've been a father for a year and a day now, so just some quick notes FYI:

                Having kids just to keep the relationship together is indeed stupid. And selfish and wrong and stuff. I think you pointed this out yourself, just thought I'd confirm it. If the two of you aren't tight like glue, the stress of parenting will rip you two apart. At four years, I imagine you know each other pretty well, but the kid will put that to a serious test. Ask yourself: if your GF were sterile and this wasn't an issue, would you be willing to marry her? If the answer is anything but an unreserved yes, I'd be very leery of having kids.

                There's more than one way to be a good father. My own father is not really the parenting type--he's substantially more introverted than I am. I think I have more "daddy" skills than he does, and he's got a thirty-odd-year lead on me. As a kid, I did sometimes feel upset that he wasn't involved in my life. Now, though, I appreciate that he always worked to provide for us and did what he could to help me. Good intentions count for more than you think, and I know you're not totally irresponsible or a fool.

                In addition, being a dad changes you in weird and unexpected ways. In my case, I think it's been largely an improvement. I've matured more in the past year than I did in the five before it, just because I had to. It was either that, become a child-killer or go insane. More than that, though, I've come to accept that this weird little critter who didn't exist two years ago is now more important to me than my own life. Which is still as baffling as it is wonderful. So, don't count on staying selfish and withdrawn and depressed and whatnot. You will not be the same person. I just can't guarantee the change will be for the better. Because you won't sleep, will get vomited and urinated on with depressing regularity, will have lots of screaming and head-butts and annoying, well-intentioned advice from friends, family and strangers. It's a crucible of piss and bright-colored plastic. I'm very, very glad we had Laz, but then my wife is very into parenting and (because she breastfeeds and I work) interacts a lot more with my son than I do.

                There's probably more, but my little pride and joy is being delightfully infuriating and refusing to nap. Also trying to steal the mouse and calling me Dado, which is awesome. My wife adds, "don't get into it unless you're willing to talk about nothing but poop for two years." This is largely true, for the first year at least.
                1011 1100
                Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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                • #23
                  Every time I talked to my brother for a year after my niece was born he'd report on the state of her poop production. Fortunately he didn't start that all over again when my second niece was born.
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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by loinburger View Post
                    Every time I talked to my brother for a year after my niece was born he'd report on the state of her poop production. Fortunately he didn't start that all over again when my second niece was born.

                    Sweet monkey Jesus, all new parents are obsessed with baby ****. It is probably the thing I get asked about the most by my patients' families.
                    "My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
                    "The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud

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                    • #25
                      It is not until you become a parent that you understand the diversity and universality of feces as a topic for conversation and contemplation.
                      1011 1100
                      Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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                      • #26
                        In your 5924 long list of why you shouldn't become a father, I think left the ,ost important out - "Having a baby will forever change my way of life and that scares me" - bet that you had similar feelings four years ago when you moved in with your girlfriend, though you survied .
                        With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

                        Steven Weinberg

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                        • #27
                          I should add that Lori is IMO the most mature and even-tempered of us on here, the best at accepting other points of view, being fair and not flipping out when things go against him. And that strikes me as the single most important trait for a father, at least for the first year. If you can't say "okay, this situation is stupid and ridiculous and unfair, and I'm tired and worn out and have already done more than I feel I should have to, but nobody else is going to do this and it needs to get done so **** it, I'll keep going," you're toast.
                          1011 1100
                          Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Elok View Post
                            I should add that Lori is IMO the most mature and even-tempered of us on here, the best at accepting other points of view, being fair and not flipping out when things go against him. And that strikes me as the single most important trait for a father, at least for the first year. If you can't say "okay, this situation is stupid and ridiculous and unfair, and I'm tired and worn out and have already done more than I feel I should have to, but nobody else is going to do this and it needs to get done so **** it, I'll keep going," you're toast.
                            I stand behind my first statement, but this is also 100% correct.
                            "My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
                            "The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud

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                            • #29
                              Lots of good advice here Lori. Especially, but not only, Mike's. I also think Ben has a valid point.
                              Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.-Isaiah 41:10
                              I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made - Psalms 139.14a
                              Also active on WePlayCiv.

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                              • #30
                                My kids have recently asked me to stop called them twits. For example, I'd say something along the lines of, "I'm just checking on my twits." People usually think I'm just being cute when referring to a Twitter feed. But really I'm reading the SMS messages they have sent me. Anyway, I suspect my wife put them up to this.
                                “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
                                "Capitalism ho!"

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