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  • Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles?

    Michael Bay Responds to Fans' Outrage Over Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Alien Announcement

    Perhaps seizing on the notion that moviegoers are willing to pay hundreds of millions of dollars to see Michael Bay's films while maintaining a deep contempt for his storytelling process and heavy use of exploding computer graphics, the Internet was set ablaze Monday, with blogs and major media outlets slamming the filmmaker's announcement concerning the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and telling tales of fan outrage.

    “When you see this movie, kids are going to believe, one day, that these turtles actually do exist when [we] are done with this movie," Bay said about his upcoming franchise reboot during a presentation at the Nickelodeon upfront. "These turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely lovable."

    Outrage boiled over, leading Bay to issue a terse response on a website he often uses to make announcements.

    "Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script," he wrote. "Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles to help expand and give a more complex back story. Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world."

    It's going to take some heavy convincing, though, because outlets and select social media-using Turtle diehards were indignant the mere thought of altering the origin story of the pizza-loving, crime-fighting mutant turtles that were such a cultural phenomenon in the 1980s and early '90s. Outlets including Entertainment Weekly, Washington Post and the AV Club reported that, based on some tweets and Reddit threads, fans were in up in arms.

    The Guardian went straight for the jugular, contrasting the implausibility of an alien origin with the well-accepted ooze-induced transformation.

    "Making the turtles aliens would ruin everything – their desire to be accepted, their bizarre late-1980s street lingo, their fondness for pizza. Everything," the paper argued. "Are we really meant to believe that there's an alien race of giant turtles who just happen to all be named after renowned Renaissance artists from this planet, and speak English, and who came to Earth with a giant elderly rat who's presumably from the same race, just to live in sewers and loudly eschew anchovies at every opportunity? Hardly, Michael Bay. Hardly."


    It's a national scandal, and Turtlegate got more ammunition when the man who voiced the orange masked, pizza-loving Michelangelo got involved.

    "You probably don’t know me, but I did some voice work on the first set of movies that you are starting to talk about sodomizing," Robbie Rist wrote in a letter to Bay that he posted online (via TMZ). "I know believing in mutated talking turtles is kinda silly to begin with but am I supposed to be led to believe there are ninjas from another planet? The rape of our childhood memories continues."


    My soul hurt reading this.
    I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
    For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

  • #2
    Wow.

    Michael Bay
    Captain of Team Apolyton - ISDG 2012

    When I was younger I thought curfews were silly, but now as the daughter of a young woman, I appreciate them. - Rah

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    • #3
      Hollywood screws the pooch again.
      Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

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      • #4
        So Superman can be an alien and speak English... but giant turtles can't...?

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        • #5
          I can't believe this bit of cultural garbage is being recycled.
          "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
          "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

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          • #6


            Michael Bay makes ****ing ****ty movies.
            If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
            ){ :|:& };:

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            • #7
              Err, this is old news.
              Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
              "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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              • #8
                Yeah, it was on RT months ago IIRC. Also, if you can get outraged by anything related to Ninja Turtles, you have weird tastes.
                1011 1100
                Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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                • #9
                  This is sad news... old news, but sad news
                  This space is empty... or is it?

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by gribbler View Post
                    So Superman can be an alien and speak English... but giant turtles can't...?
                    Superman was raised in America from infancy. Why wouldn't he learn English?
                    "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
                    "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

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                    • #11
                      I was never a fan of the original TMNT ...
                      maybe Bay turns them into something I`ll like
                      Tamsin (Lost Girl): "I am the Harbinger of Death. I arrive on winds of blessed air. Air that you no longer deserve."
                      Tamsin (Lost Girl): "He has fallen in battle and I must take him to the Einherjar in Valhalla"

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Al B. Sure! View Post
                        Superman was raised in America from infancy. Why wouldn't he learn English?
                        Because he was raised by midwestern hick farmers. Duh.
                        Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
                        "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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                        • #13
                          michael bay is the paul veederhoven of this generation.
                          I wasn't born with enough middle fingers.
                          [Brandon Roderick? You mean Brock's Toadie?][Hanged from Yggdrasil]

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by gribbler View Post
                            So Superman can be an alien and speak English... but giant turtles can't...?
                            The outrage would be similar if they changed Superman's origins to being mutated by gray sludge.

                            ACK!
                            Don't try to confuse the issue with half-truths and gorilla dust!

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                            • #15
                              This is sad. It tramples on childhood memories. But hardly worth getting a rage fit of though.
                              Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.-Isaiah 41:10
                              I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made - Psalms 139.14a
                              Also active on WePlayCiv.

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