Transforming into a redneck -- help me fight it

[Kidlicious]

Nope.

Rednecks are very conservative.

ACK!

The joke is that they can't read so they vote for Democrats.

[molly bloom]

Will there come a time when Ben Kenobi makes sense to me . . .

If your view of the world is like this, then you're in trouble. However, I don't believe for a moment you've entered the Beniverse, where logic is free form, fuzzy, and hysterical comparisons abound.