Why is Hauldren Collider obsessed with my being gay?

[MOBIUS]

Young and firm, and tight because he's only a small thing...

[kentonio]

On the other hand, your continual *****ing about the plight of gay people is boring and annoying.

Yeah, **** those oppressed minorities..

[Imran Siddiqui]

One note posters are always boring.

[The Mad Monk]

For some reason I read Albie as the thread starter.

[MrFun]

Because HC is secretly harbouring fantasies about being a bottom and wants you to be his first.

ew, gross

[Dauphin]

ew, gross

You PM'd him didn't you?

[DaShi]

I want to know.

He's not. He's just jumping on the bandwagon because the "cool kids" point out that you make a lot of threads about homosexuality.

BTW, you make a lot of threads about homosexuality.

[SlowwHand]

Mi mi mi mi miiiiii

[Jon Miller]

It isn't just Hauldren Collider.

I know I check apolyton many times a day looking for new posts to gain some insight into the concerns of a gay man in Iowa.

JM

[Imran Siddiqui]

[MrFun]

It isn't just Hauldren Collider.

I know I check apolyton many times a day looking for new posts to gain some insight into the concerns of a gay man in Iowa.

JM

piss off

[Al B. Sure!]

I just want to know why everyone here is obsessed with me supposedly being gay.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Nice one, Albie. "Hey! Why do you keep talking about me? Me! Me me me me me! I know this thread isn't about me, but it should be! Whydo you keep talking about me? Oh look! Another thread down there that isn't about me! I must ask why people are obsessed with me in it! Me! Me me me me me! It's all about me! Why?"

[Al B. Sure!]

Nice one, Albie. "Hey! Why do you keep talking about me? Me! Me me me me me! I know this thread isn't about me, but it should be! Whydo you keep talking about me? Oh look! Another thread down there that isn't about me! I must ask why people are obsessed with me in it! Me! Me me me me me! It's all about me! Why?"

Originally posted by... you (circa 2000):

Speer's love life Part XXVII- Philly Ferret Frottage

I've decided that we really can't wait for the next gripping instalment of the saga that has held the world entranced for months, so we might as well write it ourselves. In case people aren't familiar with the plot, a brief summary is included. Some names have be changed, ommitted or added for a laugh.

Albert Speer is a young gentlemen from the States who values the good old-fashioned virtues of impeccable manners, morality, casual fascism and threatening people with knives. Albert loves Lee-Ann, and is himself loved by Lee-Ann's best friend, Ann-Lee. However, Ann-Lee used to be best friends with Lee-Lee before meeting Lee-Ann, and lost touch with Lee-Lee for several years. Lee-Lee recently moved back to Philly with her new boyfriend Bobby-Lee and was reunited with Ann-Lee and Lee-Ann. They started hanging out with Bobby-Lee's ex-girlfriend, Ann-Ann. Ann-Ann is a Giant Panda.

Lee-Lee suggested inviting round Lee-Bobby, Billy-Bob, Bob-Billy, Billy-Billy and Sue-Billy for a midnight barbecue. However, Ann-Bobby suspects that Billy-Lee and Lee-Ann skipped the Buffalo wings starter and went straight for the Bearded Clam Dip. Ann-Bobby confronted Lee-Bobby with her suspicions, but was informed that Billy-Lee in fact loves Bobby-Lee whilst pretending to be best friends with Bobby-Ann in order to win over Lee-Lee and Billy-Sue.

At this point, things started to get a little complicated. Billy-Billy, Bobby-Billy and Billy-Bob are all skaters, but are cruelly frustrated by the fact that the sidewalks of Philly haven't frozen over in months. The blades of their skates just scrape into the concrete and they have been immobilised since early March. Lee-Billy managed to get moving briefly last May, though the shower of sparks that flew from his skates sparked off a major fire in the trailer-park that burnt out the homes of Billy-Bob-Billy and Billy-Billy-Bob. It also destroyed the famous statue of the city's founder, "Philly" Billy-Billy-Bob.

Chronically depressed by this inadvertant act of municipal desecration, Lee-Billy turned to drugs in a big way. His skater cronies would have helped him, but were helpless until the next heavy frost. However, he later became entangled in a satanic plot with Billy-Lee, and was discovered in incriminating circumstances with Bob-Billy, Billy-Billy and a billy-goat. Lee-Ann was furious with Billy-Lee for failing to put a stop to the sacrifice, as well as his unrequited passion for Bobby-Lee, so she made another clam dip but shared it with Billy-Ann and Billy-Bob. She would have shared it with Ann-Ann as well, but Ann-Ann only eats tender young bamboo shoots.

Ann-Lee revealed all this to Lee-Lee, partly because she was concerned for Lee-Ann's health, but mainly because she thought it would be good for a laugh. However, Lee-Lee is only pretending to be friends with Ann-Lee and Lee-Ann in order to get into the pants of Bob-Billy. Bob-Billy, on the other hand, is ****ging both Ann-Bob and Lee-Bob. In order to arouse the passions of Ann-Bob, thus critically unbalancing the tri-sexual love triangle, Lee-Lee told Albert (remember him?) of the entire saga, yet crucially omitting the presence of Billy-Bob in the hope that Albie-Bert (as he shall henceforth be known) would use his reknowned diplomacy and courtly good manners to bring the entire cast neatly goose-stepping into a new era of order that would last a thousand years.

However, much to Lee-Lee's horror, Albie-Bert went completely ****ing ape****.


[At this point Laz & the G, who has turned a pale shade of blue, takes a deep, shuddering breath, and screams........]

SOMEONE TAKE IT FROM HERE!!!!!!!

[MrFun]