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Elevator Gossip at Goldman Sachs

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  • Elevator Gossip at Goldman Sachs

    Is anyone following the Twitter account?

    An example of the choice bits therein, guaranteed to amuse or offend just about everyone:

    Skirt #1: Whenever I get stressed, I go shoe shopping. [exits]. Suit #1 (to Suit #2): Obviously not for running shoes.

    #1: Even with a 50% haircut, Greek debt will be 120% of GDP by 2020. #2: Haircut? They need a good scalping. #3: Cowboys and Athenians.

    #1: Nothing says 'I was a filthy whore last year' like 'I'm giving up hard alcohol in 2012.' #2: My girlfriend gave up hard alcohol.

    #1: I measure how hammered I am by my ability to recite every line from 'Caddyshack.'

    #1: Told my wife her presents get deferred over 5yrs w/ a clawback if she doesn't behave. And she loses them all if she walks away.

    #1: Fact. Nearly 50% of all American workers have less than $10k saved for retirement. #2: ****. That wouldn't cover a ski weekend.

    #1: My wife is basically Pay-Per-View.

    #1: If people never trust a skinny chef, they shouldn't want their bankers to be poor.

    #1: I asked him what his life goal is, and he said 'to make the obituary in The Economist.' #2: Great answer. #hired

    #1: From my experience, most people really should have lower self-esteem.

    #1: Call me an optimist, but I manscape every Thursday.

    #1: Dude, she's the piñata of Christmas parties. Always gets smashed, and anyone can hit it.

    #1: Seriously… that idiot hedging an oddlot position with futures is like a fat chick buying a rape whistle. #verbatim

    #1: My wife thinks alcoholism is totally acceptable as long as she calls it 'brunch' and does yoga first.

    #1: Bareback is the new 3rd base.

    Suit#1 (on cell phone): "Yes… Yes… I know… Yes… Ok, you too… Bye." [hang ups]. "Jesus Christ, I hope my next wife doesn't do this."
    Sounds like JPMorgan isn't doing well.

    [HK] #1: We're getting shown a ****load of Morgan Stanley résumés. #2: Take them out of the trash and send them over to JPMorgan.
    Ya don't suppose they're about to go tits up, do ya?

    #1: Bank of America is the Kmart of banks. #2: Kmart sucks. #1: Thanks, Rain Man.
    Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

  • #2
    They sound like douchebags.

    Comment


    • #3
      They sound like heroes.
      John Brown did nothing wrong.

      Comment


      • #4
        You think?
        “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
        "Capitalism ho!"

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by gribbler View Post
          They sound like douchebags.
          Pretty much.
          Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

          Comment


          • #6
            They sound like KH, actually.
            "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
            "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Al B. Sure! View Post
              They sound like KH, actually.
              Well, that's not a contradiction.
              Graffiti in a public toilet
              Do not require skill or wit
              Among the **** we all are poets
              Among the poets we are ****.

              Comment


              • #8
                Quite a few zingers there, actually!
                urgh.NSFW

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Felch View Post
                  They sound like heroes.
                  Pretty much.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    This is so 6 months ago.
                    12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
                    Stadtluft Macht Frei
                    Killing it is the new killing it
                    Ultima Ratio Regum

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      What are they talking about in the elevators now?
                      “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
                      "Capitalism ho!"

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        They're measuring their penises.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          oh man
                          it would be so awesome if there was an elevator malfunction and lots of GS employees died
                          that would be better than tebow getting killed in the playoffs
                          To us, it is the BEAST.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by KrazyHorse View Post
                            This is so 6 months ago.
                            Well, if you don't like this one maybe I could do an "Elevator Music at Goldman Sachs" thread.

                            Some possible suggestions:



                            Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              elevator music at GS is probably the screams of tortured animals
                              something to sooth the psychopath
                              To us, it is the BEAST.

                              Comment

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