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The Nazi War on Jazz

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  • The Nazi War on Jazz

    Dig this, baby: actual regulations from the occupation of Czechoslovakia. I particularly like the way they specified a maximum allowable range of each non-white musical style. You have to admit, these folks were thorough.

    1. Pieces in foxtrot rhythm (so-called swing) are not to exceed 20% of the repertoires of light orchestras and dance bands;
    2. in this so-called jazz type repertoire, preference is to be given to compositions in a major key and to lyrics expressing joy in life rather than Jewishly gloomy lyrics;
    3. As to tempo, preference is also to be given to brisk compositions over slow ones so-called blues); however, the pace must not exceed a certain degree of allegro, commensurate with the Aryan sense of discipline and moderation. On no account will Negroid excesses in tempo (so-called hot jazz) or in solo performances (so-called breaks) be tolerated;
    4. so-called jazz compositions may contain at most 10% syncopation; the remainder must consist of a natural legato movement devoid of the hysterical rhythmic reverses characteristic of the barbarian races and conductive to dark instincts alien to the German people (so-called riffs);
    5. strictly prohibited is the use of instruments alien to the German spirit (so-called cowbells, flexatone, brushes, etc.) as well as all mutes which turn the noble sound of wind and brass instruments into a Jewish-Freemasonic yowl (so-called wa-wa, hat, etc.);
    6. also prohibited are so-called drum breaks longer than half a bar in four-quarter beat (except in stylized military marches);
    7. the double bass must be played solely with the bow in so-called jazz compositions;
    8. plucking of the strings is prohibited, since it is damaging to the instrument and detrimental to Aryan musicality; if a so-called pizzicato effect is absolutely desirable for the character of the composition, strict care must be taken lest the string be allowed to patter on the sordine, which is henceforth forbidden;
    9. musicians are likewise forbidden to make vocal improvisations (so-called scat);
    10. all light orchestras and dance bands are advised to restrict the use of saxophones of all keys and to substitute for them the violin-cello, the viola or possibly a suitable folk instrument.
    For one, there are all those "hysterical rhythmic reverses characteristic of the barbarian races and conductive to dark instincts alien to the German people" ...
    1011 1100
    Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

  • #2
    Nazis hated cowbells? But how else do you treat fevers?
    John Brown did nothing wrong.

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    • #3
      I am Jewishly gloomy
      urgh.NSFW

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      • #4
        11. It is strictly prohibited to pitch a so-called wang dang doodle all night long. No wang dang doodle shall last more than 30% of any given night.
        1011 1100
        Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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        • #5
          You ever see Swing Kids?
          "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
          "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

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          • #6
            How is that? It's on my list of movies to see.

            BTW, great post, Elok, and RIP to Josef Skvorecky.
            Apolyton's Grim Reaper 2008, 2010 & 2011
            RIP lest we forget... SG (2) and LaFayette -- Civ2 Succession Games Brothers-in-Arms

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Al B. Sure! View Post
              You ever see Swing Kids?
              I saw it when it first came out & really liked it.
              There's nothing wrong with the dream, my friend, the problem lies with the dreamer.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Felch View Post
                Nazis hated cowbells? But how else do you treat fevers?
                Bravo.
                "My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
                "The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud

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