Announcement

**Elok** · January 2, 2012, 08:41

Then there are the other victims, as they're known. Dozens are born every years thanks to careless people like Kid who only want to indulge their vice: scrawny, underweight little creatures whose necks never extend more than three feet at adulthood. Who will love these little giraffes? How can they reach the freshest, tastiest leaves with such puny necks? They can't; these noble, unfortunate creatures are stuck browsing from the bottom like some punk-ass antelopes, earning them the scorn of the whole savannah. Many of them enter a spiral of shame, selling themselves willingly to Kid's perverted community so they can afford to buy shrubs with psychoactive leaves.

There is hope. The GirHalf Fund is working hard to provide each and every such animal with a functioning scissor-lift and the training to operate same with their prehensile tongues. However, funds are limited, scissor-lifts don't come cheap, and as you might imagine there are logistical issues involved in keeping them supplied with fuel and parts. Also, in a disturbing new trend, some poachers (who do not otherwise target giraffes) are killing the helpless animals to take their lifts and sell them for parts--after retrieving any kites they may have lost in tall trees. Please, consider a donation to the GirHalf Fund. A $250 donation gets you a special-edition copy of Shel Silverstein's "A Giraffe and a Half." Thank you.

**Kidlicious** · January 2, 2012, 08:53

Are any other christians telling you that you're wrong in pm?

**Elok** · January 2, 2012, 09:23

No, we're all pretty well agreed that The Big And Tall Love That Dares Not Speak Its Name is wrong. You're the only holdout. Let her go, man. She'll be happier in the wild.

**Kidlicious** · January 2, 2012, 09:38

I'm sure Ben would, if he could.

**Elok** · January 2, 2012, 09:42

Possibly. I believe BK prefers shuggoths and other nightmarish incarnations of madness from beyond dark aeons of time and suchlike when it comes to sex, but he might side with you out of solidarity. He'd probably just think you were weak for settling for an animal that only exists in four dimensions though.

**Kidlicious** · January 2, 2012, 09:43

Not saying you would heed the warning, as your heart seems to be as hard as a stone (Imran's is well on it's way), but no christian should simply watch you go to hell.

**Elok** · January 2, 2012, 09:47

You're lashing out. That's understandable, but consider the risk to yourself, if you won't consider the animals. I imagine you don't remember last year's New Year thread? You posted a picture of yourself inhaling what you later claimed was "powdered sugar" off a five-foot-long spotted neck at some bar, with the caption "Woo, doing a 'ski slope' at The G Spot, *****es!" or something to that effect. You deleted it, and I don't think anyone saved the picture, but we can't be sure and it's foolish to run such risks.

**Kidlicious** · January 2, 2012, 09:52

This is what happens to people when their hearts get hard. They can't repent and they are condemned.

**Kidlicious** · January 2, 2012, 09:54

This is between you and God. I don't have anything to do with it.

**Wezil** · January 2, 2012, 10:40

"...like some punk-ass antelopes..."

**Elok** · January 2, 2012, 11:09

Kid, can you try to keep your nuttery within, say, a dozen standard deviations of reality? Decrying your perverted "interpretations" of scripture, or postulating that you're a troll because of them, doesn't constitute "blasphemy against the Holy Spirit." It constitutes "contradicting a nutjob pharisee on the internet." For the record, I think you sincerely believe your rubbish is somehow related to Christianity, though it's really just a Jesus-flavored candy coating over a turd-flavored core of masturbatory self-love. Don't worry about the state of my soul; worry about the state of your brain.

Also--and I can't stress this enough--you swyve giraffes.

**Lorizael** · January 2, 2012, 11:11