Is Lori being a dick?

[notyoueither]

He could want her in his life, but be unsure of the consequences for himself and his other relationship(s).

Is he in a place where he can avoid becoming obsessed with her?

Could his GF notice the closeness and stay cool with it? Would doubts about fidelity creep up? Could she become jealous of the emotianal intimacy? Is he in a place where he can manage the relationship with the EBF and not have it interfere with the current SO?

I don't think it is even possible to be certain of managing the other relationships when/if he resumes contact and closeness with the EBF. That would assume he can manage the reactions of the current SO while some of those reactions will be emotional and not necessarily based on rational thoughts.

[-Jrabbit]

This is a disaster waiting to happen. In fact, it's already in process. Just a question of when.

Very reminiscent of a recovering alcoholic or smoker who decides he can handle "just one."
It's possible to do that, but just stupid to risk it.

[self biased]

TL;DR: Lori's being a colossal ****.

[MOBIUS]

He could want her in his life, but be unsure of the consequences for himself and his other relationship(s).

Is he in a place where he can avoid becoming obsessed with her?

Could his GF notice the closeness and stay cool with it? Would doubts about fidelity creep up? Could she become jealous of the emotianal intimacy? Is he in a place where he can manage the relationship with the EBF and not have it interfere with the current SO?

I don't think it is even possible to be certain of managing the other relationships when/if he resumes contact and closeness with the EBF. That would assume he can manage the reactions of the current SO while some of those reactions will be emotional and not necessarily based on rational thoughts.

All of this.

A few years back I arrogantly had a friendship with an attractive woman where I wasn't intending anything physical and therefore thought it was OK and not to consider any possible consequences on my g/f - I was basically 'I'm not doing anything, so what?'. I think if I really thought about it I was flattered of the attention and totally should have realised there was more to it than that, as I found out what her real motives were after I came to my senses and basically said I shouldn't see her anymore. In fact Mike might remember when I saw the light...

I was a colossal dick.

Lori, you already know she's bad news for you, hence this thread and the others before. You might arrogantly think you can handle this 'relationship', but don't expect anyone around you to - hence the relationships you've already lost. If you had any respect for your current g/f, you would stop this unhealthy situation from continuing immediately...

The fact that you actually already do know what to do means you're being a dick.

[Lorizael]

This thread probably doesn't need to exist anymore. Situation's resolved, at least for the time being.

[Al B. Sure!]

*bump*

[indore3]

Nise info.

[Lorizael]

*bump*

Something to add?

[Elok]

He just likes to see us yell "STOP SCREWING UP YOUR LIFE" at someone else for a change.

[rah]

This thread probably doesn't need to exist anymore. Situation's resolved, at least for the time being.

Resolved how? You can't start a thread and leave it hanging like that.

[Lorizael]

I'm cutting off contact. As things currently stand (in my brain), she's too dangerous for me to be around.

[rah]

It took awhile but well done.

[Lorizael]

It's not well done. Not even remotely well done. Well done would be me not being such a gigantic colossal ****wad that I can't have a girlfriend and a female friend at the same time. I'm ****ing broken, and the fact that I made the least bad decision given my situation means **** all.

[rah]

Damn, don't be so harsh on yourself. Most men are not capable of having a girlfriend and female friend at the same time. You didn't contact her, she contacted you so don't beat yourself up. Your only fail here was not making the call fast enough. Not that bad of a thing under the circumstances. Lighten up.

[Lorizael]

Really? Most men can't interact with two women at the same time? What a stupid ****ing species humans are. I can't believe we haven't nuked ourselves into oblivion yet.