On the relative dangers of dinosaur attacks

[EPW]

Considering the cave men didn't seem to have much trouble taking out the dinosaurs 4000 years ago, I don't know why anyone would think we'd have any trouble killing them today.

[notyoueither]

hmmm

[dannubis]

Supposing you were to contend with an attack from one of two dinosaur species: Tyrannosaurus Rex or Deinonychus Antirrhopus. Which would you prefer to face? Note that this is a fairly open-ended question; you might be attacked in the city, the suburbs or the wilderness, while armed or unarmed, by one or more dinosaurs--for fairness' sake, imagine a number of deinonychuses (deinonychi?) equal in mass to the number of rexes.

For the sake of the present discussion, assume each rex weighs about 5 metric tons and has a top speed a little under 25 mph, which is about as fast as a pretty damned quick human being. However, they cannot speed up, slow down, or turn with any speed. They have reasonable binocular vision, an excellent sense of smell, and incredibly powerful jaws. Assume a sense of hearing about equal to a human's and cognitive abilities around the level of a lion or other apex predator. Finally, bear in mind that their bone structure is extremely robust and even the heaviest bullet is unlikely to break a bone.

Deinonychus is relatively unknown by name, but it's basically the dinosaur called a "velociraptor" in Jurassic Park. Actual velociraptors were about the six feet long, but half of that was tail. The actual dinosaur wasn't much bigger than a cat and would be reduced to clawing your shins. Anyway, deinonychus was about eleven feet long (again including tail), 2' at the hip, and 160 pounds. Also (not that it's relevant) it was almost certainly feathered, not scaled. JP exaggerated their intelligence considerably; given their brain size, they're unlikely to have been smart enough to open doors, which they lack the manual dexterity for anyway. Probably they weren't abysmally stupid either, though. The actual speed of a deinonychus (screw it, I'm just going to call it a "raptor" from now on for ease of typing) is a matter of debate, but it's pretty agile and very likely hunts in packs. Also, it has a stronger bite than a hyena's, and a vicious claw on each hind leg.

My thoughts: raptors are far more dangerous in wide-open spaces, where they can circle around and use their numbers and there are no effective barriers to hide behind. Rex is less of a threat if you can see him coming, and his speed is less impressive when there's room to dodge. In an urban or suburban environment, rex takes the advantage due to the more cramped conditions of a street. Also, while almost any wall or even a car could substantially slow down raptors, a POed rex would be able to bash through anything short of solid brick. I'm not sure if a rex even has a weak spot, given its bone mass. Ideally, I'd aim for the upper leg, which is a pretty big target and would make it harder to run. However, when the rex is charging you its leg would be basically impossible to hit. Of course this depends on what kind of gun you've got, and so on. Raptors, by comparison, would go down from a single shot above, say, .22 caliber. However, they come in pretty big groups...really, there's a lot to consider here, so let the discussion begin.

T-rex

Danny opens door;

Walks into building;

Closes door;

Problem solved.

[Zevico]

[Aeson]

I'd take Deinonychus, wear a suit of armor, and keep a couple as pets.

[Cort Haus]

The only sudden apocalypse scenarios that really make sense are things like nuclear war or asteroids.

Or aliens. Except the ones whose space ships run on Windows and can be brought down with a virus.

[Proteus_MST]

You say the Velociraptors equal in mass the T-Rex... that would be around 71 Velociraptors per T-Rex.
Well...
I assume if I am able to get to a roof/balcony at least one level above ground (with the ability ... through doors for example .. to prevent anything from ground level getting up to me)
and have a SMG, MG or flamethrower with enough ammunition at my disposal,
I would be less terrified about the velociraptors.

Under other circumstances it is the T-Rex...
after all it is easier to keep track of (and evade) a single dinosaur, compared to 71 of them

[Zevico]

So eventually you're going to think of a way to slide in a Jeff Goldblum reference in your, your dinosaur apocalypse discussion, right?

[Elok]

No one's suggested homemade flamethrowers yet, by the way. I've heard you can put gas in a super soaker and a lighter on the end and get a decent one that way.

That sounds unreliable. First, super soakers require pumping. Second, they're cheap plastic--I'd expect the muzzle to melt from close proximity to flame. Third, there's the problem of keeping the lighter lit while firing. You can either hold it in place and try to control the gun one-handed or set up a rig to keep it lit, and have said rig fail when you bump the SS into a wall or something.

[Elok]

So eventually you're going to think of a way to slide in a Jeff Goldblum reference in your, your dinosaur apocalypse discussion, right?

Good idea. Supposing you were to get involved in a telepod accident with one of the two species, would you prefer to be a half-rex abomination or a half-raptor abomination? Feel free to speculate on biological consequences. Personally, I'd prefer the raptor. He's small enough to (theoretically) still get laid. With the rex's stubby arms, you couldn't even (ahem) self-service. You'd be smashing buildings with frustration in no time, and then you'd go down like King Kong.

[Elok]

In point of fact, human being are so ****ing badass that a plague of dinosaurs would be wiped out within days if not hours. Third tier military forces would decimate them. The NYPD would use them as training. We are the deadliest things the world has ever produced, and may in fact be the deadliest things in the entire Universe. Jurassic Park was a joke for that very reason; who the **** cares if they get off the ****ing island? They couldn't even kill a couple of kids and a ****ing mathematician.

Note that, in reality, you would not have Steven Spielberg and/or Michael Crichton on your side. And while the dinos would probably be killed eventually--though not as quickly as you claim, I think, for various reasons--this is a contemplation of human-dino interactions at an individual, or at most small-group, level.

[BeBMan]

Of course, the real question is what to do when Godzilla attacks. We probably have to buy some Japanese MechaGodzilla asap....

[Elok]

We could set the entire American M-I complex to build a Mecha-Godzilla instead, and call it a fiscal stimulus. The only downside is that they'd keep adding more and more features in the design phase, going back to fix glitches and request more cash...Godzilla would eat us all before the thing was half done. Still, it's nice to buy American.

[Docfeelgood]

Or aliens. Except the ones whose space ships run on Windows and can be brought down with a virus.

[Hauldren Collider]

We could set the entire American M-I complex to build a Mecha-Godzilla instead, and call it a fiscal stimulus. The only downside is that they'd keep adding more and more features in the design phase, going back to fix glitches and request more cash...Godzilla would eat us all before the thing was half done. Still, it's nice to buy American.

Those sorts of development hell type things are as much if not more the fault of the military not really being sure what it wants and changing the specs as it is the fault of the defense contractors' incompetence.