The thread where Poly guesses the #1 reason I get paged overnight/on the weekend

[Guynemer]

So, being a pediatrician means that, one night a week and one weekend a month, I am oncall for our entire practice. Any worried parent/guardian can call our office at any hour of the night, leave a message, and I will be paged forthwith.



Now, I want any my fellow Polytubbies to guess what is the most common complaint that prompts mommies (almost always mommies) to call their pediatrician outside of office hours.

I'm guessing we don't get to the right answer until the third page.

[SlowwHand]

Fever

[MrFun]

What Slowwy said - fever.

[Asher]

Won't stop crying

[Guynemer]

Nope and nope.

[ColdWizard]

Concerns about the baby****.

[SlowwHand]

Cough

[Guynemer]

Concerns about the baby****.

Holy ****ing ****, how did you know that?!




Yes. The vast majority of my nights on call (>80%), I will receive a MINIMUM of one call about constipation.

I mean, seriously, do you people call your doctors at midnight when you're constipated? What exactly do these folks think is going to happen that they need to call me in the middle of the night?

[Asher]

That was (seriously) my 2nd guess. Not specifically constipation, but digestive fun.

[MikeH]

That was going to be my guess, having just gone through all the ante-natal classes and had all the different poo types pointed out to us.

[SlowwHand]

Vomiting was going to be my next guess.

[MrFun]

Holy ****ing ****, how did you know that?!




Yes. The vast majority of my nights on call (>80%), I will receive a MINIMUM of one call about constipation.

I mean, seriously, do you people call your doctor's at midnight when you're constipated? What exactly do these folks think is going to happen that they need to call me in the middle of the night?

Those parents have to be neurotic.

[rah]

Well, so much for my guess of "mommy looking for a little action".

[ColdWizard]

Holy ****ing ****, how did you know that?!




Yes. The vast majority of my nights on call (>80%), I will receive a MINIMUM of one call about constipation.

I mean, seriously, do you people call your doctors at midnight when you're constipated? What exactly do these folks think is going to happen that they need to call me in the middle of the night?

I wouldn't have guessed constipation specifically though. But there's a reason I sometimes refer to babies as a noisy ****factory.

[MikeH]

Those parents have to be neurotic.

Show me a first time parent who isn't neurotic about their baby. I'm sure I will be!