How to drink that you sound belligerent

[Aeson]

I have never drank alcohol. If at some point in the future that should change, I would be lost in the woods as to how to go about it. This is a thread so that I, and perhaps others like HC could reference conventional poly wisdom in such a case.

Some example informational topics to get the ball rolling:

If I happen to be near a campfire when drinking, does the alcohol allow me to really not be scathed by the flames if I should happen to stagger and fall into the fire pit, or is that just an illusion that drunk people use to make themselves look more formidable? How can I accomplish this best? Isn't alcohol flammable?

If I were to be the designated driver, just how many drinks could I take before my blood alcohol level exceeds the legal limits? How many more drinks would it take for me to actually be dangerous to other drivers on the road?

If there were to be some females around, how many beers does it take to move up one notch (scale of 1 to 10)? I think it would be good to know so I can calculate the real value of the chick.

For reference: I am 170lbs and 6'1, and get slightly drowsy when taking 2 tbsp of benedryl. I can spin around about 20 times before getting really dizzy. I also have a vehicle that can do no more than 80kpm flat out, but also has crumple zones akin to that of an empty soda can. (IF there is any other pertinent information please feel free to ask!)

[notyoueither]

A friend stumbled into the fire-pît while drunk. I advise against this.

Don't drink anything if you are a DD.

The amount of beer required to move up increases as the base value goes down, until you hit the magic beer after which some random grandmother resembles Rachel Welch.

I do some of my best posting after 8 or 10 beer. My spelling improves up to a point, and then I really get on Kuci's nerves. Some of my best moments are drinking beer and arguing about subjects I don't know much about.

[Egbert]

Aeson. Try it and let us know.

[b etor]

I used to think belligerent meant obnoxious, but I learned last year that it means violent and hostile. Some people don't get violent when they're really drunk. I'm not one of those people. =(

DDs shouldn't drink at all.

4 beers for improving female appearances initially, then 1.5 for each notch after that.

[DaShi]

What about DDDs?

[Kitschum]

I don't get belligerent drinking. It just makes me feel good and like everyone's my friend which makes me do stupid stuff I regret later, like post on Apolyton. (Yes, I am drunk right now.)

[Darius871]

Iwe hstguarantewe otit fdoes morwh e harmth an good....

[b etor]

DTD how could you steer my wrong. i am on the internets at a house and my sisters bailed cos they all have guys and i'm livin the single life. FOR THE WINNNNNNNNNNNN

[b etor]

where are those drunki threads that i remember? dashi comes to mind for some reason?? i ate some spicy fries and i am not one for spicy foods regularly.

[David Floyd]

If I happen to be near a campfire when drinking, does the alcohol allow me to really not be scathed by the flames if I should happen to stagger and fall into the fire pit, or is that just an illusion that drunk people use to make themselves look more formidable? How can I accomplish this best? Isn't alcohol flammable?

The thing to remember is that when you are drunk, nothing you do counts. If you fall into a fire pit, as long as you immediately roll out of it, you will likely just pass out and not remember how you got 3rd degree burns, most likely writing it off to an accident. However, there is a fine line here, as if you are too drunk to roll out of the fire pit, death will result. Sadly, death is the one exception to "nothing counts when you are drunk".

If I were to be the designated driver, just how many drinks could I take before my blood alcohol level exceeds the legal limits? How many more drinks would it take for me to actually be dangerous to other drivers on the road?

These are two different questions. For someone your size, likely 2-3 drinks within an hour would be more than enough to push you over the legal limit. As to your other question, that all depends on your manliness. If you have impressive enough drunk driving skills, no amount makes you dangerous. Additionally, if you are in the habit of driving like a ****ing ******* when you are sober, being drunk will only exacerbate this. If you plan on drunk driving, I recommend immediately going on a program of, while sober, obeying every traffic law to the letter. Don't speed, always signal, don't make dangerous last minute turns because you missed the sign, don't cross the solid white line when merging, waiting instead for the dashed line, etc. While yes, this means you will be driving like a ***** when sober, it also means you will have the driving skills to put away a bottle of tequila and a case of beer, and drive like a champion. Which is more manly - being able to hold your liquor and drive your ***** friends home while getting a blowjob from one of their girlfriends, or speeding? I rest my case.

If there were to be some females around, how many beers does it take to move up one notch (scale of 1 to 10)? I think it would be good to know so I can calculate the real value of the chick.

Irrelevant. Nothing counts when you are drunk. If the girl isn't attractive, just drink until she is, unless you have a better option. It doesn't matter how many beers it takes, just as long as she leaves before morning.

[Nikolai]

On the question of driving, just don't. Long before you feel anything, you've become a much worse driver. You probably won't know yourself. Do everyone a favour and don't drive after drinking alcohol of any kind.

As for the effects, weight has something to say, but far from everything. A friend of mine who weights almost the same gets quite drunk long before I begin to feel much.