Brits rush at chance for Aussie life

[Egbert]

No, no guns.
Now stop spamming the thread. Mobius needs his history lesson.

[Docfeelgood]

lol

[ricketyclik]

Australia is a very bad place. I recommend you stay well clear of it.

[MOBIUS]

Australian History 101, for Moby

In the old days bestiality was a crime. Many Welshmen were therefore rounded up and transported. Finding a shortage of sheep in the colony they had to make do with female humans. As you know Welshmen are at their sheep every day so by force of habit they were seeing to their human female substitutes every day. As a consequence they bred up like maggots becoming a large proportion of the colonial population. This lowered the colonial intelligence quotient and raised the brutishness quotient.

The obsession with beer began, as a major element of colonial culture, as Welshmen sought to drown their sorrows over the loss of their loved ones (sheep). The obsession with sport began as the Welsh took to athletic activities as a poor substitute for their favourite past time of chasing sheep through the hills and valleys of Wales.

This all explains the cultural and intellectual desert that is obsessed with beer and sport. Somehow the obsession with sheep was forgotten.

Professor Braindead, Really Real Phd in Australian history

Clearly we got rid of all the miners and sheepshaggers who refused to go to the theatre or attend the odd poetry reading.

So good of you to admit that your nation is in fact made up of brutish Welsh cast-offs - I guess it explains why your nation is so good at rugby after all!

[Cort Haus]

Doesn't explain why they're usually quite good at cricket, though.

[molly bloom]

You forget that I spent 8 months living there, so I speak from experience.

Golly, a whole eight months. Colour me impressed, then, by your being unable to keep from regurgitating the same stale old cliches.

For example: my backwater city of 300,000 in the poorest part of my country has an art gallery stuffed to the gills with art to the extent that I'm even willing to bet that its Impressionist collection is better everything in Australia put together.

Given that you appear to know next to nothing about the content of Australia's main art galleries and museums, and that you don't name 'your' art gallery, I think this is a crock of sh!t. To be over-macho...

Even by accident, a country with a population of 20-odd million is bound to have the odd Jackson Pollock, or knowledgeable librarian...

Really ? Which other countries with a population of 20 000 000 did you have in mind ? Frankly were Australia as over-macho (what is the accepted level of machoness by the way ? Care to inform us ?) and philistine as you suggest, then it wouldnt have bought one of Pollock's most iconic paintings, but it might have bought a selection of clown paintings on velvet, or a lovely dogs playing cards picture...

It doesn't stop your country being a cultural backwater though...

In which way ? Given the distance from European and Asian and American centres of art I think Australia does rather well for itself.

As for libraries, I can virtually guarantee that the main library in my city is better than any library in your entire country.

Is that so ? I was born in Coventry, so I'm British by birth. Luckily I seem not to have learnt the overgrown child method of arguing.

The culture in your country is shrivelled and starved because it is, after all, populated by the descendants of our cast off criminals who continue to behave in the same brutish way to this very day.

Oh god, more boring cliches. Do yourself a favour and investigate some of the 'crimes' the ancestors of many present day Australians were being transported for- crimes such as stealing a handkerchief or food, but in reality, the crime of being poor in an age when the authorities had a mortal fear of the urban poor.

I guess every now and again there's a mutation in the gene pool, which is probably why you like being a very large fish in an extremely tiny cultural pond...

If you mean East London where I now reside, you'd still be wrong. I'm not angry at you- I just feel a bit sorry for you.

[molly bloom]

Fine Art is not a sign of intellectuality. It's typically more indicative of pretentiousness. I gather you are a tremendous fan of fine art.

Do you think I seriously care what you think ?

Rethink.

[Asher]

I don't expect you to know what's good for you.

[MOBIUS]

Golly, a whole eight months. Colour me impressed, then, by your being unable to keep from regurgitating the same stale old cliches.

It means I was more than happy to leave that banal wasteland - a few days would have told me the same thing, but by then I was committed to staying there for at least a few months...

Given that you appear to know next to nothing about the content of Australia's main art galleries and museums, and that you don't name 'your' art gallery, I think this is a crock of sh!t. To be over-macho...

I do, actually. Pollock's Blue Posts? Been there, seen that.

Same for all the 'major' cultural attractions in Melbourne and Sydney. I remember being impressed by a photo exhibition by John Pilger at the MCA in Sydney, and I simply loved Ron Mueck's exhibition at the same place - but then that was visiting from Europe so...

I also enjoyed the irreverent surrealism of Sidney Nolan, but then he did have the good grace to leave Australia when he realised he'd outgrown the place.

Obviously I'm talking about Cardiff, where have you been - in a cave?

Really ? Which other countries with a population of 20 000 000 did you have in mind ? Frankly were Australia as over-macho (what is the accepted level of machoness by the way ? Care to inform us ?) and philistine as you suggest, then it wouldnt have bought one of Pollock's most iconic paintings, but it might have bought a selection of clown paintings on velvet, or a lovely dogs playing cards picture...

I did say 'by accident', one can only assume that the Pollock was accidentally labelled 'clown painting on velvet'...

In which way ? Given the distance from European and Asian and American centres of art I think Australia does rather well for itself.

It the ways I've been describing, obviously.

Is that so ? I was born in Coventry, so I'm British by birth. Luckily I seem not to have learnt the overgrown child method of arguing.

So you're best defence is: "Erm, actually I'm not Australian..."

You know, it all fits into place - you're clearly far too poncy and cultured to be an Aussie - hence helping to prove my point in the first place!

So anyway, I bet Cardiff Central library, and the Cardiff library service as a whole, is bigger and better than the best Australia's largest city (Sydney) has to offer.

Oh god, more boring cliches. Do yourself a favour and investigate some of the 'crimes' the ancestors of many present day Australians were being transported for- crimes such as stealing a handkerchief or food, but in reality, the crime of being poor in an age when the authorities had a mortal fear of the urban poor.

Yeah, that might have been a little bit of a troll, but such is my low opinion of Aussies in general (there are some nice Aussies!), that I couldn't help it...

If you mean East London where I now reside, you'd still be wrong. I'm not angry at you- I just feel a bit sorry for you.

ROTFLMAO!!!

So on top of "I'm not an Aussie" comes "And I don't even live there anymore"!

Talk about proving my point for me.

Case Closed. Case Closed!

[MOBIUS]

If you mean East London where I now reside, you'd still be wrong. I'm not angry at you- I just feel a bit sorry for you.

Is that proper East London, or some ****hole that happens to have an 'E' in the postcode?

[Egbert]

Moby.
I really appreciate your deep insightful contributions which are really helping me to understand my own country. As the descendeant of a bunch of inbred Welsh convict sheepbangers the idea of understanding anything is a new concept for me. Having read your posts I somehow feel so much more enlightened.

enlightenment

[molly bloom]

I don't expect you to know what's good for you.

Please refer to my earlier post, where I outlined what I think of your opinion of me.

[MikeH]

Australia, so awesome you left.

[MikeH]

I have no particular grudge against Australia. All I did was repeat the views of some people who I know who spent a couple of years there and why they came back.

Seems they aren't the only ones. Not sure why you are so defensive about it.

[molly bloom]

It means I was more than happy to leave that banal wasteland - a few days would have told me the same thing, but by then I was committed to staying there for at least a few months...

Committed ? I can well believe that (in the sectioning under the Mental Health Act sense, that is...)

I was more than happy to leave that banal wasteland

And what a cheer must have been raised on your departure.

...a few days would have told me the same thing...

Ill-founded hyperbole is no substitute for breadth of experience or depth of knowledge.

I do, actually. Pollock's Blue Posts? Been there, seen that.

So you claim to have seen 1 Abstract Expressionist painting in 1 museum in 1 city in Australia. This doesn't over-impress me with your ability to critique Australia's level of cultural attainment in the visual arts or otherwise.

Same for all the 'major' cultural attractions in Melbourne and Sydney. I remember being impressed by a photo exhibition by John Pilger at the MCA in Sydney, and I simply loved Ron Mueck's exhibition at the same place - but then that was visiting from Europe so...

Sneers seem to come so easy to you, but depth of analysis and breadth of experience seem, well, fundamentally lacking.

I also enjoyed the irreverent surrealism of Sidney Nolan, but then he did have the good grace to leave Australia when he realised he'd outgrown the place.

What a stupid statement. Plenty of Australian artists (since the 19th Century, when Paris was widely viewed as the centre of modern art movements) travelled abroad- as did Gauguin, Matisse, Whistler, Delacroix, Durer, Mondrian, Winslow Homer, John Singer Sargent, Frieda Kahlo, Mary Cassatt, members of the Glasgow Boys to name but a few. Of course, unlike you, they seem to have travelled with open minds and actually learned something...

bviously I'm talking about Cardiff, where have you been - in a cave?

Not in a cave of ignorance, clearly. You overestimate my interest in where you live or come from, but unlike you, I don't make the erroneous assumption that because someone criticises a great regurgitation of cliches about Australia they must be:

(i) resident in Australia

(ii) Australian

(iii) keen on appearing as a big fish in a small pond.

I did say 'by accident', one can only assume that the Pollock was accidentally labelled 'clown painting on velvet'...

Tedious and unfunny.

It the ways I've been describing, obviously.

Except you didn't mention the other holdings in Australian museums- all that European and non-European art you missed out on, you didn't mention the Adelaide Biennale or the Melbourne Film Festial, or even the excellent service provided by S.B.S. :

http://www.sbs.com.au/

So you're best defence is: "Erm, actually I'm not Australian..."

Nope. I'm simply pointing out your erroneous assumption and stating a fact- I don't need to defend myself.

You know, it all fits into place - you're clearly far too poncy and cultured to be an Aussie - hence helping to prove my point in the first place!

From cliche to attempted insult. Exactly how thin-skinned do you imagine me to be ? You poor thing...

So anyway, I bet Cardiff Central library, and the Cardiff library service as a whole, is bigger and better than the best Australia's largest city (Sydney) has to offer.

Imagine just how excited I am by this kind of wager, given the level of general ignorance you've displayed of Australian culture and the arts scene in Australia thus far...

So on top of "I'm not an Aussie" comes "And I don't even live there anymore"!

Talk about proving my point for me.

If your point was ' how to make arse of yourself when making incorrect assumptions about where someone lives', I'm more than happy to oblige.

Is that proper East London, or some ****hole that happens to have an 'E' in the postcode?

And what might 'proper' East London be, then ?