How Long Till You Moved In/Got Engaged?

[MrFun]

In '99 I dated Mark for about six months before moving in with him at his apartment. Lived together for two years.

[MikeH]

Moved in 5 months.
Engaged after 4 years.
Married after 5 years.

Moving in was slightly speeded by both our rental contracts ending, but probably not by much.

And engagement/marriage was put off until we could afford to do the wedding properly. Neither of us wanted to be engaged for years.

[Robert]

I proposed about +-1.5 years after we started to date.
We married +-1 year later.

We were 24 and 19 when we married, so these numbers may not apply to well on people of your age, Ozzy

I always thought it's best to live with each other for a bit before committing to marriage. You can learn a lot about a person from living with them that you wouldn't learn just from dating. I am speaking from absolutely no experience, though.

Theoretically one would say that's true.
Reality shows that there's not much of a difference. And if there is any, then it's usually that people who married before moving in together have longer lasting relationships. That may say nothing b/c more orthodox christian people may marry before moving-in, and these couples are more shy about divorcing.

Anyway, I always feel like it's better to have the big party on the moment that your life is really changing, then 5 years later, when nothing is changing at all. It's a party for crying loud out. Have it when you have something to celebrate

[MikeH]

We still had a lot to celebrate after 5 years.

And we just couldn't have afforded to have a big wedding, with all our family and friends there, after a couple of years. Which was what we both wanted. So for us, that made sense. And we didn't want to create stress by getting into big debt for the wedding, that'd have been counterproductive.

[Robert]

There's no reason to not have a big celebration later on if you had a wedding first.

I'd say, just have the wedding with the budget one has at that moment. Then later celebrate the 5th anniversary of the marriage big time.
Right now for many people the wedding party is more related to the moment people have enough cash then to the moment people want to celebrate the start of their relation. that's imho not what a wedding is about.

In 4 years we'll celebrate our 12 1/2th anniversary.
I hope we'll have the money to do it big
First the crisis needs to end

[MikeH]

5 year anniversary party isn't the same as a wedding.

The reality was that buying a house together, and starting our life together in that way, was more important than the wedding at that time. For both of us it was very important that the wedding itself was a big deal, and a big celebration. I think if we'd had a quick cheap wedding early on I'd have constantly looked back on it disappointed.

(I'm such a girl)

[Robert]

The budget for the wedding being more important then the reason for the wedding
And of course a 5 years anniversary is something different, but let's be honest, a wedding after 5 years isn't the same as a wedding on the day that you start to live together either.

But everybody to his own opinion
After all a party is a party, and if the people who celebrate are happy, then it's a good party
Sounds like you combined the wedding, 5 years anniversary and house-warming party into one big thing.
The only thing that keeps unanswered is why I wasn't invited

[MikeH]

I didn't know I wanted to get married when we moved in together, it was too early in the relationship.

[MikeH]

The only thing that keeps unanswered is why I wasn't invited

Who are you?

[MOBIUS]

It was a great wedding party and I'm glad they waited a few years otherwise it wouldn't have been so good.

[MOBIUS]

All my significant relationships (4) have followed the same pattern: dated/known for several months and then moved in together. One was her place, two together and one mine.

It's always been pretty quick. I guess you reach a point where you want to be together all the time and living apart and staying over is a hassle. After a few months together you should know whether you want to live with them or not.

As for length of relationships:

1) 6 months - but still in touch after all these years!

2) 2.5 years - still in touch, again after so long!

3) 1.5 years - dunno, but it was an amicable split.

4) 12 years and counting. Not married: if it ain't broke, don't fix it!

[MikeH]

It was a great wedding party and I'm glad they waited a few years otherwise it wouldn't have been so good.

When's yours?

[Robert]

Who are you?

I am your wife!
It's time to reveal the truth.
Now stop the slow chatting and fix the fence.

[dannubis]

Moved together after 2 years. Stayed together for the next 13 years. Not married. 1 beautiful daughter.

[rah]

After about a year we moved in together and a couple of years later we married. That was 25 years ago. Still married.