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I outed myself with brain cancer, so I figure there must be more members with some diseases. I know that I might be an exception in sense that I've said it. It's something I hate to talk about. The reason I'm doing it now is because I'm extremely nervous, as tomorrow I'm going to my MRI scan. It's one year since it was found and operated by neurosurgeons. The operation was a success, and I've had two scans since, both showed good healing and the last one, 6 months ago, showed that my head has recovered fully and that there were no traces of tumors.
So... now it's my third check up. It gets worse every time. I thought it would be the opposite but for me it's not. The scan itself is... I feel like I get claustrophobic. It makes these loud, very loud noises, and you lie there like 40 minutes and not move. And all you can think is "they're taking pictures because they want to see if there is cancer". It's not like going for the first time. Then you didn't even know. Sure, it was exciting. I was nervous. My stomach was turning. My head was clouded and I felt like choking. But nothing compared to knowing that you had it and odds are it'll come back soon, and now let's go again. It ****ing sucks. It gets all the way to your bones, and strikes to your morale.
Then, I have to wait for a week to get the results. That will be even worse, to go there, wait in line for your turn, get called in, thinking if it returned or not the whole way. It's the ultimate game, it's life. They have bad news, I don't know what will happen. They have good news, it's the biggest rush ever. Yes! Another check point reached!
So, any folks in here going through the same thing, or a similar thing? I know lots of you have had someone you know going through it but what about yourselves? Would you like to share your experience? I'd like to know how others cope with it. They all say like yeah, it'll get easier, or yeah, you just never know what happens the next day. I think the disease has gotten their brains already. Talking in riddles. It's useless to talk in riddles when you have poop in your pants from being scared. or maybe that's why some people talk in riddles.
So... now it's my third check up. It gets worse every time. I thought it would be the opposite but for me it's not. The scan itself is... I feel like I get claustrophobic. It makes these loud, very loud noises, and you lie there like 40 minutes and not move. And all you can think is "they're taking pictures because they want to see if there is cancer". It's not like going for the first time. Then you didn't even know. Sure, it was exciting. I was nervous. My stomach was turning. My head was clouded and I felt like choking. But nothing compared to knowing that you had it and odds are it'll come back soon, and now let's go again. It ****ing sucks. It gets all the way to your bones, and strikes to your morale.
Then, I have to wait for a week to get the results. That will be even worse, to go there, wait in line for your turn, get called in, thinking if it returned or not the whole way. It's the ultimate game, it's life. They have bad news, I don't know what will happen. They have good news, it's the biggest rush ever. Yes! Another check point reached!
So, any folks in here going through the same thing, or a similar thing? I know lots of you have had someone you know going through it but what about yourselves? Would you like to share your experience? I'd like to know how others cope with it. They all say like yeah, it'll get easier, or yeah, you just never know what happens the next day. I think the disease has gotten their brains already. Talking in riddles. It's useless to talk in riddles when you have poop in your pants from being scared. or maybe that's why some people talk in riddles.
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