What does your inner psychologist say about this?

[N35t0r]

Preparing for everything is ridiculous. You should spend your time/energy actually making the good things happen, because most of the time they aren't going to happen by themselves. Basically what Rah said.

[Ogie Oglethorpe]

Pekka (WTF?)

Seriously Pekka, you have consistently been one of the most upbeat people on these forums. Toecho what Aeson said thetrials you have been through this past year are probably so monumental that what you are going through could only be expected.

Without being morbid or morose, your love of your daughter and the inevitable question of whether some day I may be able see her children is one everyone goes thorugh who has children albeit probably not in the context you are experiencing. I can't give any psychological advice but would make a suggestion. We as fathers hope to do whatis best for our kids and hope they learn from our example and advice. If not too painful for you, you may wish to prepare the contigency and video journal yourself to explain who you are and what adivce and hopes you have for your daughter. Hoping all goes well it provides a record for your grandchildren and great grandchildren of who that old fart Pekka was back in the day.

Best wishes and prayers.

[Kidlicious]

Worrying about things that you have no control over is a waste of time/effort.
Worrying about things that you do have control over keeps you from actually doing something about it.

I second that. And psychologists might not be able to help you stop worrying except to give you pills. Try God.

[Berzerker]

This is tough advice to follow, for me too, but the self-imposed stress aint helping - stop thinking about dying, attitude does matter. I understand the anxiety, cancer has hit our family and I already have "pre-cancerous" problems myself. We all get anxious whenever a test is coming up. But we as individuals have more control over despair than the disease, so take control of what you can and brush off what you cant. Walking and exercise helps with depression for some people, it really does. Even the most optimistic still have bouts of feeling down, its inevitable. I'll 3rd what Rah said...

[BlackCat]

Pekka, it's maybe not that much similar, but my dad was a stubborn SOB that didn't want to die. Well, that probably didn't sound good, but fact was that he was terminally ill. Despite that he fought back and he was in and out of hospital for half a year, getting better, getting worse. I lived some 300 km away, so I couldn't visit except for weekends and occational panics. Don't know why, but at my last visit I chose to take a couple of days more and it was a good idea - he finally died while I and the family was with him.

I'm glad that I had that, but that is only part of it. I had a half of a year where I had to be away and only could make weekly visits. It took a serious toll that took me long time to realize - I couldn't concentrate, stared at the screen not thinking and like. My comapany finally got tired of it and send me to a shrink and she, besides confirmirming that I had a reasonable depression, also was able to give me a chance to talk about the mess.

Forget about the tests and possible drugs (drop the shrink if that is their "solution") - what you need is someone to talk with about what has happened. Just a reminder, it isn't cured in a moment, it takes time. Oh, and forget the talk about "you have a child to live for" - that isn't enough - you have to solve your problem.

PS. Having a depression doesn't mean that you are going nuts, just mean that you are quite normal

[Elok]

PS. Having a depression doesn't mean that you are going nuts, just mean that you are quite normal

Well, hell, it's not like he doesn't have good cause to be upset!

[BlackCat]

Well, hell, it's not like he doesn't have good cause to be upset!

And ?

[Elok]

There is no and. I'm just saying, if I had all those problems, I wouldn't think I was nuts for feeling bad. IOW, I'm agreeing with you. I think.

[BlackCat]

Yeah, there are nothing wrong with Pekka, he just act reasonable despite being irrational

[EPW]

I'd stay away from the psychiatrists, they're out for your money and its a very imprecise science. .

[Pekka]

Yes... I guess priority was to vent here a bit. I'll probably seek to get an appointment after my next scan. That is because I'll hear the results after my next scan and it is a place that is even called "the tumor center" (quite irritating name if you really want to stress out people) so I could just ask that I need some coping skills and I need to talk to a professional about these things, I bet they know just the right people for that, because they do it all the time. So that psychologist might already have had customers with my disease.

I'm not so afraid of depression, it's more that I need to stop being stuck so often mentally and I need to keep that good strong positive spirit going on. When I have that, I feel like there are no obstacles but merely challenges. When I'm stuck, I start to feel sorry for myself and I hate that. Then my thoughts start to go about the same routes and I've been there about a million times now. It's a roller coaster ride but I'm looking to make it more smooth. Rationally, I have years to live most likely. It would be stupid to worry about dying right now, but because it's difficult not to, I need some help with that.

[dannubis]

I'd stay away from the psychiatrists, they're out for your money and its a very imprecise science. .

Psychiatrist is not the same as a psychologist.

[ricketyclik]

I heard a scientist on the radio saying that it had been found that reality perception is greater in those with depression. He argued that depression is a natural emotion with an evolutionary function - when we're hit, often the best thing to do is withdraw and take stock.

Your recent journey sounds like one of the more challenging ones a human can make Pekka. Good luck with the rest of it.

[C0ckney]

wow pekka, it's an incredible and challenging couple of years you've had. i can't imagine how you must feel, but like others have said i think it would do you a lot of good to talk about your feelings, your thoughts, your fears. i would recommend doing this with people who you well first. family and close friends, they won't try to analyse or diagnose you. if you feel you need extra help, then a psychologist could be the way forward. try to stay positive, easy to say i know, but you have to try.

good luck pekka, this is just another challenge for the supercitizen.

[Sarxis]

Pekka, you worry too much. Let it go. Your worrying isn't going to make any of it better.