The Comprehensive Guide to Pooping in Public

[Gibsie]

I don't know if I agree warm seats are good. That often means some sweaty fatso has been on there recently. And now so are you. You might catch AIDS.

[ricketyclik]

Bathroom strategies

What kind of strategies do you have? If you have not one, then you are living your life without a single real thought.

Anyway, I just went to the bathroom, was getting some coffee as you do, minding my own business, but my bastard stomach started having its way and I was like, "Hmm. Farting might commence in 10 seconds with probes, followed with strategic population destroyers". Hmm. Since I don't fart much at all, these things are difficult for me. I feel embarrased about it, so I figured I go to the bathroom to release some gass.

And so I did. First thing you do, you check out if you're alone in there. Doesn't matter, number 1, number 2... but if you're there just farting, I mean then you really prefer to be alone. Even then you have to go into these booths, just in case someone shows up and sees you ripping it like a superstar. Then what do you say when you eyes meet and he is checking out what you're doing. What do you say? "G'day, sir, excuse me" and slowly go by him, nipple against nipple, slightly embarrased, yes?

No, you want to avoi that, that's why you go to the booth. But here comes the dilemma. Which booth should you go to? Everyone is free. Well I go to the one that is cleanest. The closest one is NEVER the cleanest, because half the people go to the closest one. You see, they have no strategy and as a result they're standing on other people's pee. "I don't pee on the floor", well neither do I, but most guys seem to lie about it and kind of leak anyway, but I don't like to stand on it. So say there's... 5 booths. Number 1 is out. But the second booth is rivalling the first one, because people with a bit of strategy might choose that, disregarding the first one. The middle one seems like lottery to thme, sinec they are not brave enough to go and advance from the either-1-or-2-thought.

So we disregard them BOTH. That's right, I said it. We're going for booths 3, 4 or 5. 5 is pretty good usually, because people with strategy go there, but not all the time. Usually the phobic real booth players use it. So it is fairly clean. However... why go for the average strategy? Besides, number 5 can be a bit messy sometimes. So I'm usually going for booths 3 or 4. Maybe I'll check them both and see which one is better.

But then there are other strategies you have to relaly think about when coming in for farting. for example, if you're busy, do you take off your pants? If you do, do you take off your underwear? If you take off your pants, why not take off your underwear, because that's the weirdest. You're still farting on your boxers, but GOOD stuff that you still dropped your pants! Don't say you're practical, you're just weird and/or stupid.

So you either take them both off or leave them both on. Then again, you'd normally just fart with them on, why are you suddenly so worried about taking them off? is it better to be caught ass bare naked if someone opens the door by accident and you left it unlocked? At least you're in the booth, with your ass right there, that's what happens there. But if you have your pants on and everything, well that's just weird. They'd prolly say, "sorry" and wait behind the door sinec they think you're finishing. But you'r enot! You're farting, so gtfo, go stand behind another door or something. Would it make you feel weird if this happened, then you finalyl get out, adn the dude is waitin gbehind your door, and there's actually no one else, meaning that all the other booths were available at all times? Then he actually goes in. Then you hear the sniffing sound. Is he sniffing cocaine or your ass? I bet this time you hope someone is using drugs!

so anyway. You need strategies. What's yours?

I recommend the rest of this thread