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I present to you a want ad from Craigslist. This was entirely too precious not to post:
Is every female my own age who visits this site a judgmental ****? And you wonder why you're gonna die alone. You'd do well to take a lesson from the tired old adage "Beggars can't be choosers."
Edit: The event is on Saturday, November 14 and Sunday the 15th.
Anyway, I am looking for a female that is passionate about Magic: The Gathering. Everyone who just said to themselves "Ew, a children's card game" would do well to press Alt + <- right now. This event ain't for kids, you goddamn sluts. Well, maybe disquietingly smart ones. The total purse is $30,000, with $3,500 going to the first place finisher, $2,300 to the second, $1,500 to third and fourth. Can you win a fistful of cash from a children's card game? That's what I thought. I'm looking for a female companion for the day, not Companion in the Firefly sense, more like a D&D druid's companion. I'd like (but don't expect) to find a female with whom I could carry on a relationship including love.
A little about me:
I acquire food and items of value out of the trash for use whenever possible. The loot is frankly amazing.
I am pretty poor and trying to get a job. Unfortunately, I am competing for minimum wage jobs with people with bachelor's degrees and I cannot afford college.
I have a terrific voice.
I am an extremely devout atheist with shamanistic beliefs. No, it's not a contradiction. It's kind of like Wicca only without the morbid obesity/anorexia, embarrassing fake names, wearing black and pretending to be a vampire/cast spells. On second thought, it's nothing like Wicca.
I love free things. They're great. I also love making weird sounds when I burp. It's a lost art.
I cannot currently add any green mana to my mana pool because I need a goddamn job, but am wholly 420 compatible.
I do not like makeup. Prostitutes use makeup and while I have no problem with prostitutes, I have no intention of mating with a prostitute.
I hate human larvae. They are gross.
I am easily distracted. My distraction is amplified a million fold by cracked.com. You try not getting fascinated by their lists.
I love America and the people in it, but the corrupt corporation-run government and everyone being in complete denial about it is getting pretty ****ing old.
I'm a lesbian. Being a male lesbian isn't as fun as you'd initially think.
About the event: http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazin.../minneapolis09
How could you doubt that this is real? In case you don't believe me, I am currently watching Arrested Development and it is the funniest show in the goddamn world.
Edit: The event is on Saturday, November 14 and Sunday the 15th.
Anyway, I am looking for a female that is passionate about Magic: The Gathering. Everyone who just said to themselves "Ew, a children's card game" would do well to press Alt + <- right now. This event ain't for kids, you goddamn sluts. Well, maybe disquietingly smart ones. The total purse is $30,000, with $3,500 going to the first place finisher, $2,300 to the second, $1,500 to third and fourth. Can you win a fistful of cash from a children's card game? That's what I thought. I'm looking for a female companion for the day, not Companion in the Firefly sense, more like a D&D druid's companion. I'd like (but don't expect) to find a female with whom I could carry on a relationship including love.
A little about me:
I acquire food and items of value out of the trash for use whenever possible. The loot is frankly amazing.
I am pretty poor and trying to get a job. Unfortunately, I am competing for minimum wage jobs with people with bachelor's degrees and I cannot afford college.
I have a terrific voice.
I am an extremely devout atheist with shamanistic beliefs. No, it's not a contradiction. It's kind of like Wicca only without the morbid obesity/anorexia, embarrassing fake names, wearing black and pretending to be a vampire/cast spells. On second thought, it's nothing like Wicca.
I love free things. They're great. I also love making weird sounds when I burp. It's a lost art.
I cannot currently add any green mana to my mana pool because I need a goddamn job, but am wholly 420 compatible.
I do not like makeup. Prostitutes use makeup and while I have no problem with prostitutes, I have no intention of mating with a prostitute.
I hate human larvae. They are gross.
I am easily distracted. My distraction is amplified a million fold by cracked.com. You try not getting fascinated by their lists.
I love America and the people in it, but the corrupt corporation-run government and everyone being in complete denial about it is getting pretty ****ing old.
I'm a lesbian. Being a male lesbian isn't as fun as you'd initially think.
About the event: http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazin.../minneapolis09
How could you doubt that this is real? In case you don't believe me, I am currently watching Arrested Development and it is the funniest show in the goddamn world.
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