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The latest in weaponry - Ferrets

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  • #1

    The latest in weaponry - Ferrets

    Man caught with ferret in his pants
    By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS


    JACKSONVILLE BEACH, Fla. - Police say a homeless man stole a live ferret by stuffing it in his pants.

    Thirty-eight-year-old Rodney Bolton is charged with theft over the $129 animal that police say he took from a pet store in Jacksonville Beach, The Florida Times-Union reported.

    A 17-year-old witness confronted Bolton in the parking lot and was bitten by the animal after the man allegedly shoved it in the teen's face.

    That confrontation makes the ferret a "special weapon" under Florida law. So Bolton also faces battery charges for dangerously wielding the animal.

    Calls to the Jacksonville Sheriff's Department to see if Bolton has a lawyer were not answered early Thursday.


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    http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2009/10/29/11566331-ap.html


    Let's see if he weasils out of it.
    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
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  • #2
    Don't mink me hurt you.

    No surprise this happened in Florida.
    Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

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    • #3
      If at first you don't succeed, take the bloody hint and give up.

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      • #4
        I've stomped a ferret before. It's nowhere near as fun as Weird Al makes it out to be.
        "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
        "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

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        • #5
          Why would you stomp a ferret?
          Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
          "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
          He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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          • #6
            Originally posted by SlowwHand View Post
            Why would you stomp a ferret?
            Well obviously I wanted to incur huge vet bills.
            "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
            "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

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            • #7
              It's a professional courtesy? A kind of barter system? He needed the business, so you helped out. It will be reciprocated later, when you're in need. The vet will have legal necessities.
              Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
              "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
              He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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              • #8
                Plus it was a good lesson to the other ferrets. Keep them in line.
                "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
                "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

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                • #9
                  I have sympathy for the victim in the article. I've been bitten a few times by ferrets. It hurts.
                  "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
                  "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

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                  • #10
                    Well yeah. And this one was pissed off already, I'm sure. Then the thief sticks a teenager in its face on top of that.
                    Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                    "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                    He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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                    • #11
                      Is that a ferret in your pants or are you happy to see me?
                      Both.
                      "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                      Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Wezil View Post
                        I've stomped a ferret before. It's nowhere near as fun as Weird Al makes it out to be.
                        Maybe not. But stomping a drunk weasel, now that would be guaranteed laughs
                        If at first you don't succeed, take the bloody hint and give up.

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                        • #13
                          What is it with the hostile animal feelings?
                          Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                          "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                          He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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                          • #14
                            guess he just got too caught up in the rat-race
                            Order of the Fly
                            Those that cannot curse, cannot heal.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by SlowwHand View Post
                              What is it with the hostile animal feelings?
                              I feel the same towards some people
                              If at first you don't succeed, take the bloody hint and give up.

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