The human body wasn't meant to eat . . .

[Provost Harrison]

Yeah, she's a miserable cow. And her Scottishness just adds to the effect of being dour and pissed off with life in general and is doing her best to take everyone else down with her. Perhaps she should spend more time in Scotland where the diets truly are abysmal.

But yeah, the trick for me is just getting plenty of exercise. I was in the pool today and two comic store guy lookalikes has decided to swim in the fast lane where I was trying to swim and, needless to say, kept bumping into their feet. I was tempted to point out at one point the word "Fast" on the sign, and that there was an "s" in there.

[Provost Harrison]

The British are proof positive that human beings can survive and even thrive on the vilest of food sources.

It was a great motivation to empire-build...find good food and kill the bloody natives. It's why we have such good food nowadays, ie, not in the places where all the stupid tourists go in London

[Dauphin]

The British are proof positive that human beings can survive and even thrive on the vilest of food sources.

And that no-one need care about dentistry.

[Dauphin]

It was a great motivation to empire-build...find good food and kill the bloody natives. It's why we have such good food nowadays, ie, not in the places where all the stupid tourists go in London

Say Americans, you know you want to.

[Provost Harrison]

Yeah, Americans. There was one in the hotel in Mexico City last week. We were in a lift, just us two. The lift said it could handle 6. I heard it f**king creaking

[Drake Tungsten]

When I was a tourist in England, I was stupid enough to go to Yorkshire. What a miserable place...

[Dauphin]

That was really a stupid thing to do.

[Provost Harrison]

Well, depends on whereabouts in Yorkshire. There are some lovely places. There are some pretty damn dire ones too.

[Dauphin]

Grimsby, Cleethorpes, Skegness and S****horpe.

[Dauphin]

Autocensor doesn't like S****horpe either.

[Provost Harrison]

Grimsby, Cleethorpes, Skegness and S****horpe.

Yes...horrible aren't they. All in Lincolnshire too A colleague of mine was over in Mexico City from Ireland. It turned out he had to work in Grimsby for 14 months. I shook his hand and offered my condolences, and if there was anything I could do, he only needed to ask

[Dauphin]

All in Lincolnshire too

Anything north of the Thames is all the same to me.

[Dauphin]

The only good thing to come out of Lincolnshire is the Lincolnshire sausage and the A1.

[Krill]

Haggis

[Drake Tungsten]

Well, depends on whereabouts in Yorkshire. There are some lovely places. There are some pretty damn dire ones too.

The only fun I had in Yorkshire was on the trip from Booze to Crackpot.