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Things I Like About Getting Old(er)

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  • #1

    Things I Like About Getting Old(er)

    I'm making these up, please ad/comment/troll

    1. Memory fades, can now watch movies I've already seen again... also get surprised every night with what is on TV, despite the anticipation of last weeks cliffhanger

    2. I only need my ID for beer at sporting events

    3. I can yell at the kids on my lawn without receiving threats of bodily harm

    4. I can begin sentences with "I remember when" and actually say something relevant afterwords

    5. Nothing I wear will ever be trendy, so why bother?

    6. I can pretend not to know how to use the new-fangled technology so that the kids will do it for me and I can have another beer

    7. I occasionally go into Toys R' Us, find that one kid who has a $20 gift card is taking his time picking out what he wants, and casually explain how I can buy ANYTHING I want in the whole store.

    8. My water balloons hurt

    9. Bikes are for people who can't drive, and they bounce of my hood

    10. I can have candy for dinner

    11. Gray hair is distinguished, for men

    12. I'm a non-threat to young single women
    Monkey!!!
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  • #2
    It beats the alternative.

    I know who I am and my place in the universe.

    No more angst.
    Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

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    • #3
      Actually I think that cheap car insurance is about the only plus.

      Comment

      • #4
        I disagree. I'm waiting on the restaurant senior meal deals to kick in.
        Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
        "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
        He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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        • #5
          Im too old and lazy to post how i feel about this thrade and am proud to say it.
          The Wizard of AAHZ

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          • #6
            Originally posted by SlowwHand View Post
            I disagree. I'm waiting on the restaurant senior meal deals to kick in.

            Sloww, they don't card you.

            My hair turned white prematurely, so I've been getting the Old-Fart's discount for about five years now. It's the greatest invention since the horseless carriage!

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            • #7
              The only time I feel I don't need to piss is when I'm standing over the toilet.

              Yeah, just waiting for the old farts discount at the golf courses. Just a few more months.
              It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
              RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

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              • #8
                I imagine that I'll be more okay with my rapidly expanding bald spot when I'm older.
                Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
                "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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                • #9
                  They say baldness is caused by an excess of testosterone.

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                  • #10
                    That's what I tell the ladies.
                    Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
                    "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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                    • #11
                      That's an urban legend started by bald guys.
                      It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
                      RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

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                      • #12
                        As long as it still works...
                        I'm building a wagon! On some other part of the internets, obviously (but not that other site).

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                        • #13
                          So, no one is going to bring up piss shivers?
                          Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                          "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                          He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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                          • #14
                            This thread has that old people smell
                            be free

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                            • #15
                              That's AAHZ. It lingers.
                              Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                              "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                              He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

                              Comment

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