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  • Zombie attack could lead to the collapse of civilisation

    If zombies actually existed, an attack by them would lead to the collapse of civilisation unless dealt with quickly and aggressively.

    That is the conclusion of a mathematical exercise carried out by researchers in Canada.

    They say only frequent counter-attacks with increasing force would eradicate the fictional creatures.

    The scientific paper is published in a book - Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress.

    In books, films, video games and folklore, zombies are undead creatures, able to turn the living into other zombies with a bite.

    But there is a serious side to the work.

    In some respects, a zombie "plague" resembles a lethal rapidly-spreading infection. The researchers say the exercise could help scientists model the spread of unfamiliar diseases through human populations.

    My understanding of zombie biology is that if you manage to decapitate a zombie then it's dead forever
    Professor Neil Ferguson

    In their study, the researchers from the University of Ottawa and Carleton University (also in Ottawa) posed a question: If there was to be a battle between zombies and the living, who would win?

    Professor Robert Smith? (the question mark is part of his surname and not a typographical mistake) and colleagues wrote: "We model a zombie attack using biological assumptions based on popular zombie movies.

    "We introduce a basic model for zombie infection and illustrate the outcome with numerical solutions."

    On his university web page, the mathematics professor at Ottawa University says the question mark distinguishes him from Robert Smith, lead singer of rock band The Cure.

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    To give the living a fighting chance, the researchers chose "classic" slow-moving zombies as our opponents rather than the nimble, intelligent creatures portrayed in some recent films.

    "While we are trying to be as broad as possible in modelling zombies - especially as there are many variables - we have decided not to consider these individuals," the researchers said.

    Back for good?

    Even so, their analysis revealed that a strategy of capturing or curing the zombies would only put off the inevitable.

    In their scientific paper, the authors conclude that humanity's only hope is to "hit them [the undead] hard and hit them often".

    They added: "It's imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly or else... we are all in a great deal of trouble."

    According to the researchers, the key difference between the zombies and the spread of real infections is that "zombies can come back to life".

    Professor Neil Ferguson, who is one of the UK government's chief advisors on controlling the spread of swine flu, said the study did have parallels with some infectious diseases.

    "None of them actually cause large-scale death or disease, but certainly there are some fungal infections which are difficult to eradicate," said Professor Ferguson, from Imperial College London.

    "There are some viral infections - simple diseases like chicken pox has survived in very small communities. When you get it when you are very young, the virus stays with you and can re-occur as shingles, triggering a new chicken pox epidemic."

    Professor Smith? told BBC News: "When you try to model an unfamiliar disease, you try to find out what's happening, try to approximate it. You then refine it, go back and try again."

    "We refined the model again and again to say... here's how you would tackle an unfamiliar disease."

    Professor Ferguson joked: "The paper considers something that many of us have worried about - particularly in our younger days - of what would be a feasible way of tackling an outbreak of a rapidly spreading zombie infection.

    "My understanding of zombie biology is that if you manage to decapitate a zombie then it's dead forever. So perhaps they are being a little over-pessimistic when they conclude that zombies might take over a city in three or four days," he said.
    Great research

    BBC, News, BBC News, news online, world, uk, international, foreign, british, online, service
    Blah

  • #2
    Professor Robert Smith? (the question mark is part of his surname and not a typographical mistake) and colleagues wrote:


    Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
    "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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    • #3
      Paychecks were issued for this study?
      Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
      "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
      He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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      • #4
        Canadian paychecks
        Monkey!!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by SlowwHand View Post
          Paychecks were issued for this study?
          of course, and if they were big expect the next study to be on the longevical properties of the Loch Ness.

          these dudes got a great gig going for them.
          Order of the Fly
          Those that cannot curse, cannot heal.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Lorizael View Post
            Professor Robert Smith? (the question mark is part of his surname and not a typographical mistake) and colleagues wrote:


            On his university web page, the mathematics professor at Ottawa University says the question mark distinguishes him from Robert Smith, lead singer of rock band The Cure.
            Captain of Team Apolyton - ISDG 2012

            When I was younger I thought curfews were silly, but now as the daughter of a young woman, I appreciate them. - Rah

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            • #7
              I blame video games.
              I drank beer. I like beer. I still like beer. ... Do you like beer Senator?
              - Justice Brett Kavanaugh

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              • #8
                He is obviously aiming for the ignobel prize in medicine .
                http://www.hardware-wiki.com - A wiki about computers, with focus on Linux support.

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                • #9
                  Anybody seen The Colony on the Discovery Channel?
                  John Brown did nothing wrong.

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                  • #10
                    The worst part is that I already read the study yesterday.

                    :sad:
                    12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
                    Stadtluft Macht Frei
                    Killing it is the new killing it
                    Ultima Ratio Regum

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                    • #11
                      at KH.
                      Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

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                      • #12
                        12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
                        Stadtluft Macht Frei
                        Killing it is the new killing it
                        Ultima Ratio Regum

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by KrazyHorse View Post
                          The worst part is that I already read the study yesterday.
                          So have I.
                          I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
                          For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

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                          • #14
                            That's not the study. The real study references that, however.

                            The zombie survival guide is very short on mathematics.

                            12-17-10 Mohamed Bouazizi NEVER FORGET
                            Stadtluft Macht Frei
                            Killing it is the new killing it
                            Ultima Ratio Regum

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                            • #15


                              The second chapter, Weapons and Combat Techniques, discusses the weapons at the average reader's disposal and weighs them against the various threats that may be faced during confrontations with the undead. The book recommends the M1 carbine and a machete, as portrayed on the cover of the book.
                              Could anyone who has read the book explain why M1 carbine is recommended?
                              Last edited by Colonâ„¢; August 18, 2009, 17:26.
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