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Cops hunt fetish burglar for curing blue balls

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  • Cops hunt fetish burglar for curing blue balls

    Yep, this is about the only sort of news to come out of my dismal home town. Let the lame puns begin!

    Duluth police search for rubber ball fetish burglar

    A Duluth man with a history of burglary to satisfy a self-professed sexual fetish for slashing large rubber exercise balls has been at it again, according to a complaint made public on Thursday.

    By: Mark Stodghill, Duluth News Tribune


    Christopher Bjerkness,
    31, is accused of breaking
    into the St. Mary’s/Duluth
    Clinic West building, where
    he allegedly slashed
    exercise balls.


    A Duluth man with a history of burglary to satisfy a self-professed sexual fetish for slashing large rubber exercise balls has been at it again, according to a complaint made public on Thursday.

    Christopher Neil Bjerkness, 31, is accused of breaking into the St. Mary’s/Duluth Clinic West building at 4212 Grand Ave., where he allegedly slashed exercise balls, apparently with a sharp knife.

    Bjerkness is charged in St. Louis County District Court with second- and third-degree burglary in connection with the May 30 break-in at the clinic. Police have been unable to locate Bjerkness and a warrant was issued for his arrest Wednesday.

    SMDC officials turned over to Duluth police video surveillance of the break-in and exit from the building. A police investigator concluded that the burglar was Bjerkness.

    Bjerkness was convicted in 2005 of first-degree criminal damage to property after making an unauthorized entry into the Sports and Health Center at the University of Minnesota Duluth on several occasions between February and September of 2004 and damaging inflatable exercise balls.

    He admitted to using a knife to slash about 72 exercise balls during three incidents at the college. The different-sized balls were valued at $30 to $60 each.

    In pleading guilty in that case, Bjerkness also admitted slashing balls at the St. Mary’s/Duluth Clinic Center for Personal Fitness. He said he entered the center by jimmying a locked door with his knife. The fitness center reported to police that 40 balls had been slashed.

    According to the criminal complaint, Bjerkness also was convicted in 2006 of third-degree burglary for entering the Polinsky Medical Rehabilitation Center and damaging inflatable exercise balls there.

    SMDC officials said special camera systems were installed and overtime paid to catch Bjerkness in the prior acts.

    Court documents in the earlier cases indicate that Bjerkness told Duluth police he slashed the rubber balls to satisfy a sexual urge. He said he popped some of them with his hands. Experts in the field said that Bjerkness has a fetish or unusual attraction to inflatable exercise devices.

    As part of his probation, Bjerkness was ordered to undergo psychological counseling but he left his therapy group in April 2008, according to the criminal complaint. A licensed psychologist said the defendant was not attempting to get better and “continues to be a risk to society."

    http://www.duluthnewstribune.com/eve...cle/id/125478/
    Unbelievable!

  • #2
    Seems completely overblown to me.

    Comment


    • #3
      But seriously, you have to wonder how he thought he could avoid suspicion after that first incident of his.

      Comment


      • #4
        What a freak.
        Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
        "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
        He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

        Comment


        • #5
          Oh yeah??

          Then what about that guy in the article!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Winston View Post
            Seems completely overblown to me.


            These cops are just full of hot air.
            "You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."--General Sir Charles James Napier

            Comment


            • #7
              sexual urge? Am I the only one confused by this? How could you get turned on by a blue ball?

              sigh. are people completely nuts? Sometimes I think I'm the only normal person.

              But I imagine with 7 billion people in the world, there's at least one person who gets turned on to every object. But there are more objects than people, right? Surely there is some object men don't get turned on by.

              And why does it seem like only men are perverts. Aren't women turned on by unusual things?

              Comment


              • #8
                It takes lots of balls to do what the guy did
                The enemy cannot push a button if you disable his hand.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Zevico View Post
                  Originally posted by Winston View Post
                  Seems completely overblown to me.


                  These cops are just full of hot air.

                  How would thousands of dollars worth of property damage not be worth the cops' time, especially if in a repeated string of cases? The article said about 30 to 60 bucks a pop (no pun) multiplied by a few hundred balls, not too shabby. And let's not forget the human cost of hundreds of back patients who must wallow in pain until the shipment of replacement balls arrives. Tragic.
                  Unbelievable!

                  Comment

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