Damn, it's my turn to make the biggest decision of my life.

[Japher]

you're a perv Ali... sometimes I forget you're a girl

[Docfeelgood]

If you have a good wife, then you are loved by GOD.

[DaShi]

First, I'd drop the cliched metaphors.

Second, you'll be marrying for the same reasons a lot of girls here in China get married for: money and security. Not only do you not love her and will not be happy in the relationship, she'll be the "man." Her parents bought the house and will likely pay for who knows what. The best marriages are an equal partnership based on love. You and the girl have neither of those. So don't do it!!!

Zaku, work things out with your wife. Try talking to her as a human being. Hell, try talking about her as a human being.

[Alinestra Covelia]

Zaku, work things out with your wife. Try talking to her as a human being. Hell, try talking about her as a human being.

I get the impression he's been there, done that, learned his lesson.

Divorce is a perfectly rational solution if two people can't get along. The kid is indeed an innocent observing party, but sometimes that's preferable to keeping the charade going and making him an innocent casualty.

[DaShi]

Nonsense. I've seen this a lot in China. He's away from his wife surrounded by all this young Chinese putang, who are often rather flirty with foreigners. Now his wife isn't looking so hot, so he starts demonizing her to lay the foundation to justify his sexual misadventures. All so he can satisfy his ethnic fetish.

[Joseph]

2 years and nothing. Time to walk. If you don't just maybe thing will turn around, but that is a big if/maybe.
I met my wife July 31, 1964 and we were married Nov. 8, 1964. We had our ups and downs, but some how we made it. Number 45 coming up this Nov. We have 4 kids.
Daughter 43, Son 40 and twin Daughter 37.

[DanS]

Sounds like a long, hard slog in life to marry someone that you aren't even moderately attracted to or have some feelings for. A real drag. Why put yourself through it?

[Docfeelgood]

2 years and nothing. Time to walk. If you don't just maybe thing will turn around, but that is a big if/maybe.
I met my wife July 31, 1964 and we were married Nov. 8, 1964. We had our ups and downs, but some how we made it. Number 45 coming up this Nov. We have 4 kids.
Daughter 43, Son 40 and twin Daughter 37.

Congrats!

[Docfeelgood]

2 years and nothing. Time to walk. If you don't just maybe thing will turn around, but that is a big if/maybe.
I met my wife July 31, 1964 and we were married Nov. 8, 1964. We had our ups and downs, but some how we made it. Number 45 coming up this Nov. We have 4 kids.
Daughter 43, Son 40 and twin Daughter 37.

Congrats!

[Docfeelgood]

I am at that point with my wife. I was here in China for a few months before she came over, she was in the US living with my mother. Well she had access to our tax returns, savings, and her then newly acquired unemployment. I needed money over here, and I had expenses to pay for before she got here. She blew a ton of money and we fought all the time. I was around all these gorgeous Chinese women *still am* and I have this half wit at home..with my 9 month old son. So I bit the bullet, she got here with my son and I retook control of the finances. Now its just...why am I still in this marriage? She doesn't cook, she barely cleans, she complains all the time about everything, I can't even remember the happy times when we were dating. All I do know is I am in the marriage for my son, because if I tell her to go it is all the way back to Cali, and I am in China for a while so that means missing my son grow up.

Point is, your at the point that almost all relationships hit, you need to remember why your where you are. What you had before and if it is still there or can be achieved again. No relationship stays the same as it began because you get comfortable. There definitely ARE more fish out there, but is sacrificing a 2 year relationship and a possibly promising future to find another girl and life worth it? I wouldn't marry her just for the house, but take her with you. See how a new environment can affect your relationship. Maybe you will find something new in her that you didn't know about before. Maybe you both will find something new. If it works out great, if it doesn't then you can talk things through and manage a stable break up. Or hell, work a deal out where she does her thing and you do yours, you just split the house up.

In the end it is what you want. Never marry just to marry, but don't assume that love is elsewhere. And damn well don't have any kids if you are even thinking of something else, once you hold that baby in your arms and it looks up at you, there is no going back...trust me.

been there, done that. Twice!
Life is already a b!tch, then you marry one.

[zakubandit]

DaShi, don't get me wrong I love my wife it just isn't the marriage it started off as. I don't run around telling people to never get married, like my uncle (divorced twice) did with me. I just give my story. My wife is Hispanic (strong willed), and she is a veteran as well. She does things around the house, but if I ask for something like, I don't know, cleaning the house while I am at work instead of me cleaning it after work like always then she snaps at me. I was a stay at home dad for the first 6 months of my son's being. I cooked, cleaned, shopped, took care of the new born, did everything, and still had time for myself. Now the roll is reversed but it isn't completely reversed since I still do the cooking and cleaning. I know better than to walk into a fight with her, so I just bite my tongue, do what I need done, and she knows exactly what she did wrong even if she argues she wasn't wrong. I didn't cheat on my wife at all when I was here, not to say I didn't have the chance, but I cheated when I was a kid, I have been cheated on, and I wasn't going to make the same mistakes again. I don't have an ethnic taste, I had numerous ethnic groups when I was in Korea, I grew up after that. I don't spoil her, but I do give her a lot.

But like jrabbit said, its a two way street. You have to give not just get.

[DaShi]

It's extremely bad taste to bad-mouth your wife on a public forum like this. It's entirely one-sided and speaks to more than a few domestic complaints. The type of person who would do that doesn't deserve pity or understanding except from others who would do the same.

[Jon Miller]

Your wife is probably unhappy that she is in a foreign country, and wants to return to 'home'.

Try to take her out/etc.

You obviously are better equiped to deal with your current situation.

Please empathize.

JM

[Jon Miller]

Frosty Boy, how would you feel if a girl did the same to you?

Was like "I don't really love this person, but I might not be able to find any better and they have wealthy parents and will give me a house/etc...".

JM

[Docfeelgood]

DaShi, don't get me wrong I love my wife it just isn't the marriage it started off as. I don't run around telling people to never get married, like my uncle (divorced twice) did with me. I just give my story. My wife is Hispanic (strong willed), and she is a veteran as well. She does things around the house, but if I ask for something like, I don't know, cleaning the house while I am at work instead of me cleaning it after work like always then she snaps at me. I was a stay at home dad for the first 6 months of my son's being. I cooked, cleaned, shopped, took care of the new born, did everything, and still had time for myself. Now the roll is reversed but it isn't completely reversed since I still do the cooking and cleaning. I know better than to walk into a fight with her, so I just bite my tongue, do what I need done, and she knows exactly what she did wrong even if she argues she wasn't wrong. I didn't cheat on my wife at all when I was here, not to say I didn't have the chance, but I cheated when I was a kid, I have been cheated on, and I wasn't going to make the same mistakes again. I don't have an ethnic taste, I had numerous ethnic groups when I was in Korea, I grew up after that. I don't spoil her, but I do give her a lot.

But like jrabbit said, its a two way street. You have to give not just get.

Dude you don't have to explain anything that fvcking loser!
What does he know? Besides, I think he's gay.