Damn, it's my turn to make the biggest decision of my life.

[FrostyBoy]

I'm at the fork in the road where I have to make a decision.

One path is blury all the way, the other path has a good start but seems to have a storm in the far distance, and I can only hope that it clears before I reach there.


So that's my analogy; I have a girlfriend of 2 years, we're ok, apart from the crazy fights she sometimes has with me.

Her family is quite excited about her getting married to me; even though I have never mentioned yet that I even want to get married. The reason they think we are is because myself and gf discussed moving to NZ (my home country), but my reason for returning is because I am getting sick of Singapore, her reason is because she wants to get out of Singapore.

Anyway, here's the thing, her father is quite well off (CEO of large company) and is willing to buy a very nice house in a prime spot in New Zealand, where myself and gf will live... happily ever after?

The other problem is, I don't feel anything for her, I am not happy to see her, (but neither am I sad or anything negative), her birthday is coming up and I don't even think about it or her. I am not attracted to her, but all girls lose their looks in the end anyway.

I don't want advise from people who are young and inexperienced, I want to hear from those who have been there and done that; done the marriage, had the kids, got the divorce, etc I want to know that love between the couple lasts only in the beginning, regardless of who you might find in this world.

So? What do I do?

[Asher]

You're a little ****

If you don't feel anything for her, **** off and stop pretending like you do to her.

I always knew you were a ****

[Japher]

2 years is enough time to get comfortable with them and lose that early romance and settle into how it really will be. If you aren't happy with how it is then don't expect it to change. If you are content then ask yourself how you would feel if she left, if that doesn't bother you than let her go.

Don't marry for money, looks, or security.

It's obviously not love.

[-Jrabbit]

Sounds like you're considering marrying for the free house.

If that's really what you want, I can pretty much assure you that that's all you'll get out of it.

[Drake Tungsten]

You're a little ****

If you don't feel anything for her, **** off and stop pretending like you do to her.

I always knew you were a ****

QFT

[zakubandit]

I am at that point with my wife. I was here in China for a few months before she came over, she was in the US living with my mother. Well she had access to our tax returns, savings, and her then newly acquired unemployment. I needed money over here, and I had expenses to pay for before she got here. She blew a ton of money and we fought all the time. I was around all these gorgeous Chinese women *still am* and I have this half wit at home..with my 9 month old son. So I bit the bullet, she got here with my son and I retook control of the finances. Now its just...why am I still in this marriage? She doesn't cook, she barely cleans, she complains all the time about everything, I can't even remember the happy times when we were dating. All I do know is I am in the marriage for my son, because if I tell her to go it is all the way back to Cali, and I am in China for a while so that means missing my son grow up.

Point is, your at the point that almost all relationships hit, you need to remember why your where you are. What you had before and if it is still there or can be achieved again. No relationship stays the same as it began because you get comfortable. There definitely ARE more fish out there, but is sacrificing a 2 year relationship and a possibly promising future to find another girl and life worth it? I wouldn't marry her just for the house, but take her with you. See how a new environment can affect your relationship. Maybe you will find something new in her that you didn't know about before. Maybe you both will find something new. If it works out great, if it doesn't then you can talk things through and manage a stable break up. Or hell, work a deal out where she does her thing and you do yours, you just split the house up.

In the end it is what you want. Never marry just to marry, but don't assume that love is elsewhere. And damn well don't have any kids if you are even thinking of something else, once you hold that baby in your arms and it looks up at you, there is no going back...trust me.

[zakubandit]

Sorry, again the network is being stupid, didn't mean to double post.

[FrostyBoy]

Sounds like you're considering marrying for the free house.

If that's really what you want, I can pretty much assure you that that's all you'll get out of it.

Not entirely accurate. You see, if I ditch this girl and find someone I AM attracted to, what are the chances.. after say, 2 years or after kids, the feeling will just fade away and be similar to what I have now? You see what I am saying?

Truth is, I am not doing this for the house, (besides, this is an opportunity for her to get out of Singapore and an opportunity for her parents to invest overseas). This "using" thing works both ways. But for me, I think I am more self-conscious about it than they are; I'm not a user, I'm independent and self-reliant. But time is catching up with me, I may not get this opportunity again and I may make a mistake if I do not take it, and i'm not talking about the house, i'm talking about the girl, the question is, how will I feel about this 10 years from now? Will there be a storm or will it clear?

[Kuciwalker]

Re: Damn, it's my turn to make the biggest decision of my life.

You're considering moving to London, but aren't sure if you can get a US visa?

[Asher]

Sad.

[FrostyBoy]

Sad.

Hug me

[Japher]

Hips out boys. This is a family site.

[SlowwHand]

You live life once and nothing is free. Walk away now.

[-Jrabbit]

Don't let events and convenient timing screw up your judgment.

I had no doubts when I got married. No guarantees -- it's a two-way street and people change. But ours has been great -- anniversary #22 coming up shortly.

If you have doubts, I would advise against marriage.

[Alinestra Covelia]

Well to judge from your avatar she does have two mouths. Might be nice for bedroom exercise but what are you going to do once she starts nagging you at double capacity?