I Have A Series Of Miscellaneous Questions

[Wiglaf]

Please help with this grab bag of questions:

1. A friend with Vista gave me his install CD. Can I just use it for my new computer or can we not both use it with the same keys?

2. I'm was the Best Man at an upcoming wedding and, at last count, the groom (or bride or whatever you call the male about to get married) had sex with about 3 girls during the bachelor party. Is it socially acceptable to tell his fiance now, or should I wait until after the wedding? Alternatively, should I stand up and object to the wedding as they recite their vows, as seen in Independence Day starring Will Smith.

3. Why do we have two testicles? I understand we have two eyes for peripheral vision, two nostrils for three-dimensional sense, two hearts for improved blood blow, but why two testicles? So little sperm is necessary to conceive an egg, it seems like a half a ball is all that is really needed to get the show on the road.

4. I was driving last night with an ice cream maker tethered to the back of my car when it snapped off at 40 mph and destroyed a nearby raccoon. I recovered the raccoon and want to know if CPR will work on it even though it's been a while since it stopped breathing.

Thanks -- more questions as I remember them.

[SlowwHand]

1) You should be able to use the key.

2) Speak now or forever hold your peace.

3) An example of the importance of balance in life.

4) The time has probably passed. Make a cap.

[Lorizael]

1. Running two instances of Vista with one key actually creates a sort of quantum entanglement that allows for instantaneous communication across time and space. Microsoft will discover this in the future and, through that same method of communication, send messages back in time to spur the development of copyright infringement legislation.

2. The only real solution here is to sleep with the bride to give her vengeance against her soon to be husband. Since most marriages end in divorce, it's best to get the process started quickly.

3. It's true; we only need one ball. Whichever one is smaller is actually a vestigial structure and can be removed. I suggest donating it to poor children in China.

4. If there was any ice cream in the ice cream maker at the time of the accident, it's possible that the raccoon has entered a sort of cryogenic freeze and can still be revived. But first you must express your love for the raccoon so that it knows it has a reason to live.

[MikeH]

You hit on the answer to 3) in your question. It's the same as with eyes, 2 testicles are required to produce 3D sperm which are required to produce 3D offspring.

[rah]

1. why would you want to install vista?

2. If he's not married yet, why is it a problem if he slept with someone. but more importantly, why would the best man fink out his buddy.

3. Redundancy, in case one stops working.

4. If you really wanted to suck face with a racoon, it really wasn't necessary to hit it with a cream machine.

[SlowwHand]

I wasn't going to say anything about it being a mistake to install Vista. I wanted him to, so we could see his blow up thread.

[MrFun]

1. gay

2. gay

3. gay

4. gay

[SlowwHand]

Of course.

[KrazyHorse]

1. gay

2. gay

3. gay

4. gay

Jesus Christ. Like 2 days after Slowwie has his funniest post MrFun puts up his funniest post ever.

[MikeH]

Must be down to the new regime.

[Asher]

Everyone has had to step up their game now that the Site's Captains have called people out.

[DirtyMartini]

1. what Lori said
2. the best time to bring it up would be during your toast at the reception as seen in Old School starring Will Ferrell
3. one is full of good sperm, the other is full of evil, devil-child spawning sperm -- it's up to you to figure out which is which and maim one according to your Wiglaf-brood creation wishes (Hint: the one that hangs lower is closer to hell)
4. The raccoon may has learned a lesson from its forest dwelling neighbors and is playing possum. He'll snap out of it soon and commit unspeakable acts while your sleep.

[MrFun]

Jesus Christ. Like 2 days after Slowwie has his funniest post MrFun puts up his funniest post ever.

All I ask is that you believe in me.

[Guynemer]

1. gay

2. gay

3. gay

4. gay

[MrFun]

Everyone has had to step up their game now that the Site's Captains have called people out.

Revolutionizing the Apolyton experience.