Should I Get Transitions Lenses?

[Wiglaf]

I am all about technology. If condoms could be downloaded I would download them onto my penis. But the fact remains that there is one aspect of my life that computers have not yet touched: my eyewear.

I am investigating transitions lenses. They are like normal lenses, except they contain a microchip that can detect your location, presumably by GPS. When you go outside, the lens tints, making them like sunglasses. But when you go back inside, they become like regular glasses.

This is not unlike the Betamax/VHS war in that regular lens advocates say that they provide more consistency and less awkwardness, but detractors say that they contain more storage. Please let me know if you have personal experience with transitions lenses. Girls, are they practical? Guys, are they hot? I'm all ears. angry: :MAD: :B:

[KrazyHorse]

You should be careful. Transitions lenses are known to conceal the approach of gay men. Given your undeniable sex appeal you run the risk of being unable to draw your concealed handgun and blast them to hell before they pull you into an alley and sodomize you.

[Wiglaf]

You're starting to confuse me now. Why would they conceal the approach of gay men? Is it because gay men also use transition lenses regularly, and one person wearing transitions lenses cannot see another person doing the same thing? Much like two submarines cannot detect each other when running silent?

[SlowwHand]

I say No. No, I say Yes.

[KrazyHorse]

You're starting to confuse me now. Why would they conceal the approach of gay men? Is it because gay men also use transition lenses regularly, and one person wearing transitions lenses cannot see another person doing the same thing? Much like two submarines cannot detect each other when running silent?

It's not quite this obvious. The thing is that gay men are usually easily visible by their clothing choices. However, transitions lenses block loud and pastel colours much more effectively than they block straight male colours like brown and dark blue. Thus gay men are much less visible than they would be ordinarily.

[Wiglaf]

Is that true? Gay men wear their flamboyant colors even when they are out to sodomize others in dark alleys? I thought they reserved their festive flair for the overt orgies. This is bizarre but if true means I need to revisit my thesis research and scan for irregularities.

[KrazyHorse]

I'm assuming that the gays in this case are not a roving anal rape gang but simply some homosexuals (perhaps on a trip to Bed Bath & Beyond) who are driven wild with passion by your presence. I'm sure you're used to this by now.

[Wiglaf]

I have to admit your criticism of Transition lenses is not one I have seen even after about an hour searching google. One of the few perks to visiting this dreadful place is the occasional insight you cannot get at more competently managed sites. Unless anyone has other information to add it seems clear that Transition lenses block gaydars more than they block UV rays and thus have no demonstrable use in my man bag.

[KrazyHorse]

My work is to appear in the next issue of Physical Review Letters

It's not a generally-known result yet.

[Wiglaf]

What? Aren't you a pshycist? Why are you publishing in psychiatry. Just in case you wanted to know, my thesis research was not about gang rape visa vee Transition lenses but rather gay clothing as it pertains to the day of the week. So it has no direct impact that I can see but you can cite my work if you are interested. Basically, I concluded that gay men wear shorts on the weekend for the same reason the Egpytians never wore jeans -- it is because they are more extroverted and feel jeans are constraining.

[KrazyHorse]

I cross-edited you. I also have an article coming out in AJP, but it's about the link between drug-addiction and watching Oprah Winfrey. By my calculations Oprah has caused more ODs than the entire crack epidemic.

[KrazyHorse]

Basically, I concluded that gay men wear shorts on the weekend for the same reason the Egpytians never wore jeans -- it is because they are more extroverted and feel jeans are constraining.

By a simple syllogism can we not conclude that Egyptians are gay?

[Wiglaf]

I'm not sure, you are the one publishing in multiple journals (!) so I leave syllogisms to you. I think this is how it would go.

Proposition A: Gay men are generally extroverts;
Proposition B: The Egyptians were generally extroverts (Cf. "Let my people go");
Proposition C: Generally it can be concluded gay men are Egyptians OR that Egyptians generally were gay.

Because the first half is clearly false since there is a Canadian gay on this site, I believe there is no way to avoid what you suggested. This is surprising, has anyone published on this? It would explain why Cleopatra was always so horney.

Please let me know what you found about Oprah. For one woman to do the damage that crack has in its 3,000 years of existence suggests she may actually be more than one woman, like Homer.

[Theben]

Proposition B: The Egyptians were generally extroverts (Cf. "Let my people go")

Your quote would indicate that the j00s, not Egyptians, are extroverts and/or gay.

but it's about the link between drug-addiction and watching Oprah Winfrey. By my calculations Oprah has caused more ODs than the entire crack epidemic.

I have serious doubts that this is causal. More likely drug addicts are drawn to Oprah as Svenlanders are drawn to shrill noise bands draped with synthetic clothing.

[rah]

I am investigating transitions lenses. They are like normal lenses, except they contain a microchip that can detect your location, presumably by GPS. When you go outside, the lens tints, making them like sunglasses. But when you go back inside, they become like regular glasses.

Thanks, it's been one of those days and I needed a laugh.