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  • Hot tub water -- Mmm, Mmm, Good!

    Take a relaxing, tasty 'soup tub' at Finnish Country Sauna – April 1, 2009
    Kevin L. Hoover
    Eye Editor

    FIFTH & J STREETS – Adapting to today’s harsh economic conditions requires flexibility and innovation, and two resourceful Arcata businesses have found a synergy that benefits both.

    Finnish Country Sauna and Tubs has formed a partnership with Japhy’s Soup Kitchen to offer new “Soup Tubs” out behind Café Mokka at Fifth and J streets. There, three of the Finnish-style hot tubs have been reassigned to tureen duty, offering patrons a relaxing, nutritious and newly flavorful tubbing experience.

    “People have always used terms like ‘soothing,’ and ‘refreshing’ to describe what we offer here,” said owner Stan Henerson. “Now we’re hearing ‘yummy,’ too.”

    On Monday, one tub is partly filled with dried lentils, another with split peas and a third with beef bouillon cubes. The tubs are then filled with hot water, and as the ingredients rehydrate, a chef from Japhy’s pays a call.

    “We chop fresh vegetables on the deck next to the tub and just slide ’em right in,” said Japhy’s owner Joshua Solomon. “By the time we leave, soup’s on!”

    Marketing the bathwater bisque has presented more opportunities for innovation. As they enjoy their tubbing session, patrons may eat all they want by simply leaning back, submerging to nose level and opening their mouths.

    Also, for a $5 surcharge, one may bring a thermos, fill it up and take home a complimentary serving. To offset that charge or to take a $5 discount on a tub session, you may elect to bring an ingredient to donate to the mix – a head of celery, some radishes, onions, carrots or other organic-only veggies.

    No leeks, though. “No one wants people taking leeks in the tub,” Henerson said.

    Customers have embraced the concept. “We love it,” said regular patrons Dave and Rachel Hendry. They’ve even learned to work subtleties of the new system to advantage.

    “We come on Mondays to eat light, because the broth is still a little watery at that point,” Rachel said. “And besides leaving well-nourished, the garlic and carrots do wonders for my skin!”

    By Wednesday, though, the ingredients – including those donated by other tub-users – are well-cooked, flavors have flourished and the soup stock is thick and bracing for a cold winter’s night.

    “Best of all, I go to work the next day exuding a musky lentil aroma,” Dave said. “My co-workers seem to like it – they go running for the door as soon as I arrive. Instant munchies, I guess. They must be rushing off to get some soup of their own.”
    Josh confirms that the tub-brewed soup gets more tasty with each passing day. “They say too many cooks spoil the broth,” he observed. “That obviously isn’t the case here.”

    By Friday night, the mixture has thickened into a stew-like sludge, and by Sunday morning has the consistency of wet cement. Interestingly, it tends to set like cement too, so at this point the tubs are scraped out and the remaining contents donated to food banks.

    Henerson said that with the success of the soup tubs, he’s looking into modifying the business’s saunas as well. At first he was going to use them as veggie cookers and offer a “Sauna and Steamed Veg” service, but now he has other ideas.

    “Some government suits visited the other day,” he explained. “They said their ‘chemtrails’ weren’t working as well as they’d hoped – whatever that means – and that they had certain ‘additives’ they wanted to put in the sauna water. They gave me a whiff of it, and I felt I had no choice but to obey. So that’s a go.”



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    Tub soup is good food!

    No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

  • #2
    Can anyone say, "health code violation"?

    No way that passes muster with any health authority worth its salt...

    Of course it's April 1, so i'll assume that's just an april fools' joke posted a few days late
    <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
    I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

    Comment


    • #3
      obvious April Fool's
      Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

      Comment

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